


The Devil You Know

by seductioneyes5h



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-02 08:36:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 52,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4053604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seductioneyes5h/pseuds/seductioneyes5h
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Carmilla and Laura had met... before Silas University?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Housemate

“Dad, I love you, I do, but I don’t think I can do this anymore…” I try to reason with my dad over the phone as I make myself a peanut butter sandwich. 

“Pumpkin, I already signed the papers. I can’t take it back, you know how it is.” I hear his voice from the other line.

“I know, but… I’m starting college next week… And I need to concentrate on that… You should have talked to me about it first…”

“I know, sweetie. But I don’t think this one is going to stay long, she’s turning 18 soon. Just like you. She doesn’t have anywhere else to go.”

I sit and take a bite from my sandwich. It surprisingly makes me feel better. “Fine.” I say after I swallow another big, peanuttery bite. “I’ll get the room ready.”

“Thank you, Laur.” I feel my dad smiling with relief. It makes me smile, too. “Look at it this way; you’ll have a new friend to help you out with whatever you may need.”

“More like ‘a’ friend.” I answer back sarcastically. He doesn’t need to sugar coat it; I know high school isn’t the best place to make friends in. That’s what college is for. “But it’s okay.”

“Okay, well, we’ll be there soon. See you later.”

“Bye.”

And he hangs up.

“Well, this better be fun…” I put my phone on the table as I finish my delicious, small meal with delight. Right after I’m done, I wash my used dish and head upstairs to clean the unused room a bit.

My dad is amazing. He is. He is the literal definition of the word “strong” because he used his pain to make something beautiful and constructive. When my mom died, his world fell apart. I was too young to remember every detail, but I reckon I saw him cry often; never in front of me, though. But he somehow picked himself up and quit his profession (he used to be a doctor) and became a social worker instead. I guess he realized he didn’t want to heal people, just help them. And it amazes me to see how he doesn’t settle with being a social worker; he goes the extra mile by fostering any kid who needs a temporary home and all of our family members think it’s extraordinary.  
And I’d probably think it too if I wasn’t forced to live with a stranger every once in a while.

Don’t get me wrong, I love helping kids who aren’t as fortunate as I am. But sometimes I just want to be a normal daughter who doesn’t have to share her father with children who probably don’t have anyone like my dad in their lives. Sometimes I want to take care of myself and not constantly make sure someone else feels comfortable. And sometimes I just want some stability in my life. It hurts to see them come and go because I can’t keep contact with any of them because apparently it’s “against the rules” or something. And I’m tired of just being a stop in someone’s life, I want friends I can keep for a while. Maybe that’d be convenient.  
I know this one seems promising. Even if she’s leaving soon, it’ll be easier to connect with her because we’re somewhat the same age. This barely ever happens, they are usually younger (my dad never agreed to bringing older foster kids in the house because it could put me in danger, especially if they were boys). And it’s a plus that she’ll leave the system as soon as she turns 18, meaning that I will be able to contact her. Hopefully, it’ll work out. 

Hopefully.

I finish vacuuming the room and changing the sheets to some clean, pink ones in a short amount of time, so I take a few minutes to get pretty. I take a shower and put on a nice outfit to seem somewhat nice and inviting so the girl can feel at home. It’s the least I can do for someone who needs so much love and support. Besides, I want her to like me. 

“Laura!” I hear my dad say from downstairs. “We’re here!”

“Coming!” I scream back as I look at myself in the mirror one last time. Relax, Laura. Just smile and she’ll be your friend.

I feel the butterflies in my stomach attack me as I try to not run downstairs because I really want to make a good impression. One step at the time, Laura.

Once I hit the bottom, I see some movement coming from the living room and I head in that direction. I then see my dad, alone, waiting for me to join him.

“Where is she?” I whisper.

“In the bathroom.” He says with a normal voice. He’s big on not making anyone feel out of place. “She’ll come out in a minute.”

“Okay.”

“So, tomorrow the three of us need to go to the supermarket so we can buy anything she may want, we haven’t really discussed that.” He tries to make small-talk to get everything to feel normal. I know he knows how nervous I get when I meet someone my own age.

“Okay…” I quickly rub my hands together. “What else?”

“We can then take you shopping so you can buy your brand new first day outfit.” I know he’s trying to make it up to me. It’s honestly cute. 

“Finally!” I laugh. “Good. I thought you had forgotten about that.”

“I haven’t.” 

I hear footsteps behind me but I’m too shy to turn around… I really want to, though.

“Oh!” My dad obviously sees her since he’s facing her way. “There she is!”

I try to face her as smoothly as possible, without seeming too eager or too disinterested, and with a big smile on my face. 

But as soon as I see her, my smile turns into a jaw-drop.

There’s a girl in front of me. And not the kind of girl you’d expect to see in a foster program, with dirty clothes and no make-up and looking miserable. But a girl who looks waay better than any prom queen out there.

Her complexion is literal perfection. Her eyes are as captivating as the brightest star in the galaxy. All the black makes her extremely pale, but it somehow works for her. And the leather… God, the leather. Everything about her screams “dangerous” and usually I stay away from people like that, but she seems to be the exception. 

“Hey.” She says as she gets closer, not smiling whatsoever. 

I stay mute. God, even her voice is attractive. My mouth gets dry and my eyes can’t move.

“Hello?” She snaps her fingers, trying to get me talking. “Cupcake?”

“Laura…” My dad’s voice is the one that brings me back to reality. I need to act cool.

“Hi.” I say awkwardly, my mouth tense.

“Oh.” The girl responds. “She can talk.”

I furrow my eyebrows. What?

“I’m guessing you’re Laura.” For a minute there, I swear I feel her mocking my name. 

“Um…” She suddenly doesn’t seem as attractive. “Yeah. And you are?”

“Carmilla. I’m your new housemate, sweetheart.”


	2. The Unlikely Hero

“Um… Yeah, I know you’re staying here.” I look at my dad all confused. He just shrugs in response. “I just wanted to know your name.”

“Well now you know.” Carmilla takes a chocolate bar from what seems to be her back pocket and opens it with her teeth. What the hell? “So where’s my room, munchkin?”

“Oh, right.” You need to be nice, Laura. Do it for your dad. “Let me show you where you’re staying.”

She loudly chews her candy bar as she takes her bag and walks behind me to the second floor. After what seems like an hour, we find ourselves in front of the door leading to the room. I swiftly push it open with a nervous smile on my face, hoping she doesn’t think I’m weird.

“Ta-dah!” I extend my arms, making some sort of victorious movement because the room does look pretty good; she can’t think I’m too weird after that.

Carmilla walks inside and eyes everything carefully, especially the bed. I feel my bones shiver. “Can I get some new bed sheets?”

“What?” I question as my anxious smile drops again. “What’s wrong with those?”

“They’re pink.” The rebellious girl throws her bag on the floor as she takes another bite from her chocolate. “It ruins the room.”

“But they’re clean. And they look good.” I argue back because who the hell does she think she is?!

“But they’re pink.” She continues roaming around the room.

“So?”

“Um…” She turns around to face me and motions towards her body. It annoyingly looks hot as heck. I try to look away, but I can’t. “Do I look like a kind of girl who likes pink?”

I stutter. I don’t know what’s making me nervous: her meanness or HER. “N-no. I just, w-we don’t have any more clean sheets for that kind of bed.”

“Bummer.” She then carefully sits down on the bed and takes another bite from her chocolate. “That’s a real disappointment.”

“Yeah.” I bite my cheeks. “Sorry.”

“It’d be waste if…” Oh no, she isn’t.

She wouldn’t do that.

Nope. Nope.

… And she did.

“Some chocolate were to spread on the sheets.”

The chocolate stain she left on the bed stares at me. She freaking just dirtied the bed. SHE REALLY JUST CLEANED HER DIRTY HANDS WITH SOME PINK SHEETS.

“What’s wrong, buttercup?” Carmilla stares at me with a sarcastic smile on her face. She seems to be enjoying the trouble she’s causing me. “You don’t like chocolate?” She then  
licks her fingers seductively as she stares at me directly and if she weren’t such a bully, I would smile. But I won’t. Because she’s a bully.

“You stained the sheets and those were the only clean ones we had.” I try to re-explain myself peacefully because she needs to understand the situation.

“Then let’s wash some other ones.” She suggests smugly.

I try to laugh to control my irritability. The kids who stay here are usually more appreciative and shy, not ungrateful and annoying, so this girl is going to be a challenge. “But you see, I already spent time picking out those, so…”

“Oh, so just because I’m a girl, you assumed I liked pink?” Carmilla questions, her eyebrows rising with an amused laugh.

“No. Well yeah, but I just, I didn’t-”

“I just, I didn’t!”

Is she seriously imitating me?

“Look, I’m trying to be nice to you since you obviously need patience from others, but-”

“Excuse me?”

She’s still laughing. Why is she still laughing? This isn’t funny.

“I don’t need your pity, sweetheart. I’m all good.” She continues. “But what I do need is…” She swiftly stands up again and pulls out the bed sheets in one, quick motion. My eyes  
widen. “Some new bed sheets.”

Just take a deep breath… “Fine.” I try to smile. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, creampuff.” She turns away as she continues munching on her candy bar.

I scrunch up my nose and leave. This may not go too well after all…

 

-The Next Day-

 

“Carmilla, are you sure you don’t want anything else?” My dad looks at her completely taken aback. The girl only wants a box of chocolate!

“I’m positive.” She says as she uninterestingly observes her surroundings. “Besides, most modern foods are not even food. I refuse to digest chemicals that can give me cancer and murder me slowly.”

My dad and I give each other weird looks because this girl just keeps getting creepier and creepier.

“Um, but Carmilla…” My dad tries again. “Chocolate isn’t enough to keep you alive… I mean, we will all eat dinner and breakfast together, but in our house we make our own  
lunch.”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Hollis.” She sighs dramatically. I can’t tell if she really is dramatic or if she’s just pretending to be. I’m assuming it’s a little bit of both. “No need to waste your precious income.”

“Money is not an issue, Carmilla.” My dad resumes to pushing the cart through the aisle. “I thought they explained to you how it works…”

“They did. I know you get paid to take care of me. Like a babysitter. But I really am fine.” She answers, still glancing around.

This girl seems to have ADD.

“Well…” My dad sighs in defeat. “Just tell me when you want something.”

“Will do.” The bitch finally turns around. Her fake smile makes me want to roll my eyes. But I can’t. Because my dad asked me to be nice. “Thank you, Mr. Hollis.”

“No problem, Carmilla.”

I can’t believe I actually thought we could be friends. I can’t believe I actually thought she was going to be some sweet girl I could watch Netflix with. Carmilla is the literal housemate from hell. She hasn’t even been a whole 24-hours in my house and her room looks like a black hole, she clogged the shower, she spilled milk all over the sink, and I found one of her thongs in MY room. And she is extremely inconsiderate! She used the houseline all morning while I was watching some cartoons and I swear she was talking loudly just to piss me off. I keep trying to make her feel comfortable and at home, but every time I try, she gives me a sarcastic reply followed by an edible nickname. My dad says I shouldn’t take it personal since she was found homeless a couple of days back in the middle of a road and she seems to have horrible mother issues, but it’s hard when I’m the one she seems to be taking her anger out on. I don’t get her. I wish she would just play nice and have a decent conversation with me.

But no. She chooses to be mean instead.

“Laura.” My dad interrupts my internal monologue. I shake my head. “Since we’re almost done here, you should go across the street to start checking out outfits in that store you like. I’ll pick you up as soon as I’m done.”

“Sounds good.” I agree, mainly because I’ll finally get a few minutes away from her. “Should I use your credit card or mine?”

“Use mine.” He stops the cart to take out his wallet. “I haven’t deposited in your account this week.”

I see Carmilla behind him. She rolls her eyes. I bite my tongue. “Okay.”

He hands it to me and I throw it in my purse. “See you later.”

I start walking away and I feel myself breathe again for a second because I’ll finally have some time for my-

“Wait!” My dad screams. I turn around. Dad, don’t do it. “Take Carmilla with you.”

Oh my God. “Um…” A good few seconds pass and I know I shouldn’t be making it awkward but how can one nicely say you don’t want someone to go with you?

“It’s okay, Mr. Hollis.” She puts her hands in her leather pockets, staring at me carefully, speaking for me. “It’s obvious she doesn’t want me to go with her.”

“That’s not true.” My dad says a little too quickly. “Right, Laura?”

“Right.” I too answer too quickly. My dad gives me ‘the look’ and I know I need to start behaving. “You should totally come with me.”

She shrugs slowly with a disinterested look in her eyes as she walks towards me. “Alright, cupcake. Your wish is my command.”

“Ha.” And there it is. Sarcastic reply number 27. Nickname number 4. “Well, bye dad.”

“Be safe!” He says as we walk away.

“Always!” I reply and we silently head towards the mall by foot.

The first few minutes in silence were fine because I could hear myself not get annoyed by her. For a second I felt sort of cool by hanging out with someone my own age... Or at  
least it felt cool to be seen with someone my own age. But once midway, as we cross the semi-busy street, the silence gets a bit overwhelming and I don’t do well with silence. It makes me awkward and tense. And it makes the atmosphere awkward and tense. And no one wants that, right?

“So…” I can’t help myself from keeping quiet once we reach the other side. “How do you like the house so far?”

“Your house?” I swear her voice just got eight octaves lower. I gulp.

“Yeah.” My voice also sounds a bit off. I quickly clear my throat and put my hair behind one of my ears.

“It’s nice.” She thinks about it. “Especially the white sheets you got me.”

“Yeah.” We head towards the doors and they open once we get closer. The refreshing, mall air fills my lungs. “I’m glad you liked them.”

“I did, sweetheart.”

“Yeah.”

We head towards my favorite store and Carmilla follows my every move, seeming a bit lost. That sparks my curious nature.

“Have you ever been here before?” I ask.

“Once or twice.” She shrugs. Again. She’ll dislocate her shoulders one day if she keeps doing that whenever someone asks her a question.

“Do you like it here?” I try to keep the conversation going since silence isn’t as relaxing as I thought it’d be.

“I guess.”

“And there I feared you were going to be vague.”

“Sorry, kiddo.” She puts her hands in her leather jacket once again.

“Look…” That nickname thing is reallyyy starting to annoy me. “My name is-”

High school was hell. It was everything I feared it would be and no one there actually liked me. They all thought I was the weird kid with the dead mother. So really, everyone would make fun of me. But there’s always that one bully you never forget; that one person who happened to dislike you the most.

And for me, that person is Elsie Stevens.

So when I see her a few feet away from me with her gang of lizards, I, as a reflex, feel my heart start to beat funny and my nerves hit me faster than any exam could. “Oh, no.”

“What?” Shoot. Carmilla’s here. Play it cool, Laura.

“Nothing.” I turn around quickly, hoping they didn’t see me because if they did, they’d probably start laughing and I can’t handle that anymore. “Wrong way.” I try to grab  
Carmilla’s arm so she can follow me but instead she pulls it away and looks behind us. “What?” I question.

“Nothing.” She keeps her gaze on something (I didn’t want to turn around to see what it was) for a moment until she fully turns around and follows behind me.

We stay quiet the rest of the trip.

(A while later)

“What do you mean you’re still in the supermarket? I already bought some clothes; I thought you were almost done.” I ask my dad over the phone. Carmilla just stares.

“Sorry, Laur.” He tries to excuse himself; as always. “I ran into someone. I’ll be there soon. But I still need to pay and put everything in the car so I’ll be there in 20.”

“No!” I need to leave. As soon as possible. Nobody can see me here. And I can’t see Elsie again. That freaking blonde is everywhere. “We’ll walk back.”

“Are you sure?” My oblivious dad asks.

“Yeah. Meet you in the car.”

“Okay.”

And I hang up.

“Come on.” I hurry Carmilla. “Let’s go.” I start walking at a faster pace than before. Shopping didn’t calm me as much as it should have.

“What’s your deal?” She whines behind me, trying to keep up. “I thought we were walking.”

“We are.” I look to my sides, making sure nobody is watching because I feel like all eyes are on me. “This is walking.”

“More like sprinting.” She jogs a bit to be by my side. We head out of the mall and walk towards the sidewalk to get ready to cross the street. Our light is green.

Perfect.

I try to walk faster to cross it before the light gets red, but Carmilla’s voice distracts me.

“What’s up with that girl?”

I slow down a bit. Her question took me by surprise. I genuinely thought she didn’t notice. “What girl?”

“The blonde one.” My slower pace helps her keep up. “The one you saw.”

“There’s no blonde girl.” I try to explain. Just a few more seconds until we cross the street…

“There is. You are a little too obvious to keep a secret. And let me tell you, cupcake, you seemed pretty upset when-”

That’s it. I turn around drastically on the edge of the sidewalk, making her bump into me. She quickly moves back, though. “First of all, I didn’t see anyone. Second of all, I thought you were this self centered, dark clothes loving person who did not care about other people.” She rolls her eyes at that. “And third of all, my name is Laura. Not cupcake. Not sweetheart. Not munchkin. And not any of those other weird nicknames you seem to pull out of your sleeve.”My heart beat gets out of control. I never talk to anybody like this. “Okay?!”

“Sure.” She grins slowly. “Laura.” The mock in her voice throws me completely overboard. It hasn’t been a day and I can’t even stand to look at her by this point.

“You’re unbelievable.” She’s so annoying. She’s inconsiderate. She’s nosey. And I need to get away from her before I-

It happens so fast, I don’t understand what’s happening until I feel her chest against my back. All I felt was a strong hand in my arm pulling me backwards quickly. I didn’t even hear the car honk. I didn’t even see the car. All I felt was my desire to move away. But now all I feel is my body shaking and my heart beating like a drummer. My eyes water as she softly pulls me to the side. As soon as her chest leaves my back, I start looking around and I see people staring. Did I really just almost get run over?

“Are you okay?” She gets close and gives me a weird look, as if she doesn’t know if that’s the right thing to ask. It probably is, so I answer.

“Yeah. Sorry.” I shake my head. Don’t cry.

“You gotta be careful, buttercup. You’re not always going to have someone to save you.” She leans out and walks towards the street.

Did she just save me?

“Come on.” She whines again from a distance. “I thought you liked walking fast.”

“Yeah.” I shake my head once more as I place some more hair behind my right ear. “Sorry.”

Did she really just save me?


	3. The Secrets She's Keeping

You’d think that after someone saves your life, you would get closer with said person. You’d even see them as a hero of some sort and they would probably get a bit protective over you. I mean, there’s nothing more personal than saving a life.

Who knows what would have happened if Carmilla hadn’t pulled me back. I may be in the hospital. Or dead. Or both. But I’m not because Carmilla was nice (and also surprisingly strong) enough to save my life.

But it’s been three days since it happened and she hasn’t even brought it up. Not even once.

In fact, we’re still all distant and she still calls me by the nicknames she chooses.

I keep trying to be nicer to her because I am actually thankful for what she did but it’s like she’s not letting me be. It’s like she wants us to be weird and distant. My dad thinks she’s shutting us out because it’s easier and that I understand, I just wish she’d trust me a bit more. I don’t want to hurt her. I deeply want her to feel comfortable. But she’s not making that easy.

She spends most of her time in her room. She sleeps until late because she wastes her nights watching TV downstairs while my dad and I sleep. I’m guessing she likes to be alone and that’s why she avoids company.

‘What about her eating habits?’, you may ask. Well, besides chocolate, she barely eats. We always leave her some breakfast and dinner but most of it is left untouched. It seriously worries me. I hope she knows she can get really sick if she keeps doing that.

But I won’t be the one to tell her. I have more important things to worry about; like college. In exactly two days, I begin my journey as a freshman in Sillas University, which happens to be half an hour away from my home. Which means that I don’t have to stay in a dorm room with a random roommate. In a way, I’m thankful about that since I seem to be unlikeable and it’ll probably take a while for me to get used to college. But I don’t know, it’d be nice to live the whole college experience. My dad says I can rent a dorm for next semester if I want… But I only have a few weeks left to make the reservation before they all get full. And I don’t know how I’ll feel in a few weeks about college.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

“Hey, Laur.” My dad says with his eyes glued to some paperwork.

“Yeah?” I ask from the kitchen.

“Can you check if Carmilla is okay?” He wiggles a bit in the couch to get more comfortable before finishing his thought. “It’s after four. She’s usually awake by three.”

“Ugh.” I groan. “Why me?”

“Because I’m working.” He circles some words on one of the papers with a pen. “And she’s a girl. What if she sleeps naked?”

“Dad! Ew.” Not really, but okay.

He smiles a little in amusement. “Just go check.”

“Fineeeeee.” I drag my body upstairs in complete anguish. I don’t want to wake her up. She’ll probably annihilate me before I even say good morning. But of course, I’m the one who has to go because Mr. ‘I work too much’ is always busy. Let’s just hope she isn’t really naked because if she is, she’ll claw my eyes out for staring.

I arrive at our guest’s door and knock softly. “Carmilla?” I say, not too loudly.

No response.

“Carmilla?” I try again.

Still, no answer. I start to get a bit worried. I knock again, a bit harder. “Carmilla?”

Silence.

As a future journalist, being curious is a trait I need to nurture… At least that’s what I tell myself as I start opening the door carefully to check if all is well.

Once inside, I notice the room is almost pitch black. I knew she closes the windows and the curtains before going to sleep, but it’s too dark. I don’t know how she can sleep like this. It honestly creeps me out.

But it is Carmilla we’re talking about, so…

I take a few cautious steps inside and close the door behind me in the process. “Hello?” I whisper, worried of breaking the darkness. Or the silence. Or her.

I can only hear my footsteps on the room and since I’ve been in here a thousand times, I know my way to the bed. So I walk towards that direction.

“Carmilla?” I whisper again. I continue tiptoeing towards where she is supposed to be because at this point I fear she may be dead.

That is until I feel my toe tap something on the floor. Something big.

“What the…” I step back and try to see what it is but the room is too dark so I intelligently take out my phone, turn on its flashlight, and shine the floor to check what the hell I stepped on.

And I find Carmilla facing the floor. And she appears to not be breathing.

“Oh, no.” Panic takes over me and before I realize what I’m doing, I quickly run to the switch and turn the lights on. I run back to her and kneel by her side, trying to flip her over.

“Carmilla!”

Once she’s facing the roof, she moans a bit. She looks pale as heck.

“Oh, no. Carmilla… Carmilla…” I gently place her head on my lap with shaky hands because what else can I do. “Carmilla? Wake up…”

I hear a tiny moan come out of her body and that’s when my survival skills start to kick in. “Dad!” I scream out, hoping he hears me. “Dad!”

“No…” She whispers, her throat seeming dry. “Don’t…”

“What’s wrong? What happened? Do you need some water?!” I quickly pull her hair out of her face and slap her gently. She doesn’t answer. “Dad!”

“No…” She tries to stand up but she can’t. “Please…”

“Carmilla, you need help!” I exclaim. “You’re dying!”

“I’m not.” She swallows hard. “Phone…”

“Huh?” I stare at her all confused. What the hell is going on?!

“Phone… Yours…” She tries again.

“Oh!” Without thinking, I quickly hand her my phone, which still has the flashlight on.

She takes it with her fragile hands and starts hitting random buttons, seeming drunk. “Goddammit…”

“What do you need?” I ask.

“Text…”

I snatch the phone away and go to my messages and set everything up so she can send her text. At least I’m assuming that’s what she’s going to do. I then hand it to her again and lift her head and body up a bit, so it’s easier for her to type.

She slowly starts typing in the phone number. I get agitated.

“Do you need some help?” I ask.

She shakes her head as she types the number in. After she’s done, she writes an “I need it -c” and hits send. Before I can memorize the number, she sloppily deletes it and lets the phone fall on the floor, followed by her hand.

I try not to get too frustrated over that as I air her with my hands. I also try to not think about who she texted. And about what that “it” may be.

“I really think I should call my dad…” I tell her. I know he didn’t hear me because if he would have, he would have quickly come upstairs. But he didn’t. And in my arms, Carmilla is  
dying. Oh God, I need to breathe.

“No.” She says again. “Just…” She points towards the bed.

I assume she is asking me to help her lay down, but just to be sure, I ask. “Do you want me to carry you?”

She nods in what appears to be defeat and she lets me help her stand up. Once on her feet, she falls to her side, but luckily I catch her on time.

“Be careful…” I whisper to her ear since her head is literally by my mouth. I swear I feel her shiver.

I grab her tighter by the waist as she drags her feet along with me, and I somehow get her on the bed before she collapses again.

“Nononono…” I push the covers to the sides because this girl needs some air and then I sit by her side. “It’ll be okay… Just stay put…”

She moans again and my head spins in worry. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this vulnerable. I don’t think she’s ever let me touch her, for that matter. Only she can touch me, apparently. But that’s not the point. The point is that Carmilla appears to be losing consciousness right in front of me but she doesn’t want me to get help and I don’t know what to do and I don’t even know what’s wrong and-

“Relax…” She mutters.

I stare at her. Relax???!!!

“You’re…” She takes a shaky breath. “You’re making that face.”

“What face?” I shouldn’t be asking at a time like this but what the heck.

“Worried.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Of course I’m worried, just look at you…” I unconsciously touch her forehead to check her temperature and… dang it, she’s really hot (no pun intended). I look at her body and notice how she’s still wearing her usual leather clothes… They must be making the fever worse… So without saying another word, I walk to the bottom of the bed and take off her boots. She seems to moan in disapproval, but I don’t care. She needs to feel comfortable. I then take off her… broken socks… and place them gently inside her boots on the side.

“Whatreudoin…” She mumbles with her eyes closed.

“I’m making you comfortable.” I state as if it wasn’t already obvious.

“No…”

“What?”

“Stop.” She opens her eyes and looks at me for a few seconds.

“Carmilla, you need to relax.”

“Leave.” I swear she’s wasting her poor amount of energy arguing with me. I’m just trying to be nice…

“Let me help you…” I plead to her because she can’t be this stubborn… She’s really sick… She needs my help… It’s the least I can do after she saved my life…

“Open…” She swallows hard. She can barely talk. My heart is literally breaking for her. “Window. Leave.” She concludes.

“But Carmilla…”

She gives me the ‘I’ll ruin you’ stare and I know that I have to do what she says before someone gets hurt. So I place the boots on the side of the bed and I open the window and curtains as she asked me to do without another word. I stare to the distance and see the sunlight. It makes me smile.

For a second I get a bit scared of her jumping out of the window (since anyone can fit through it) but if she wants me to open them… I need to respect that.

“Can I do anything else?” I ask as I approach her again.

“No.” She mumbles. “Leave.”

“Carmilla, I can’t just…”

“Leave.” She repeats, followed by a bit of a cough.

“Can I tell my dad?”

“No.” She moves her head to face me. “I’ll be okay.” She croaks out and continues staring.

“Okay.” I know it’s not enough but I swear it’s all I can say.

And I pick my phone up and head to the door. This time, I’m the one who is defeated.

 

-4 Hours Later-

I told my dad Carmilla went to sleep pretty late and that’s why she’s still not up. He managed to accept it and he let her get some rest, apparently she probably needs it.

But I just feel so uneasy. I’ve been thinking about her for the last four hours and yeah, she’s literally feet away from my room, but I can’t just walk in there, I’ll make her really upset. And I also can’t tell my dad, she’ll probably kill me as soon as she gets better. And from what I checked online, those are symptoms of someone whose sugar levels are really low and if she doesn’t eat soon, we may need to take her to the hospital.

But she seemed so confident when she told me she was going to be okay… As if this had happened to her before… As if she was used to it… And I just, I don’t know. To say I’m worried is an understatement.

So I decided to take control of the situation and I made her a sandwich (I even put some chocolate on the side) which I’m going to be delivering to her in the next few minutes, because a decent amount of time has passed since I last saw her and well, I need to check up on her.

And make sure she’s not dead (fingers crossed on that part).

After I make her sandwich look decent enough to be edible, I head upstairs, butterflies in my stomach. I’m scared of what I’ll find in that room. I’m scared of her being mad at me.

But I can’t just leave her… it isn’t right. I have to do this. I have to do something…

I take a deep breath before opening the door carefully but once I do… things get creepy.

I swear I see someone in the mirror’s reflection, by Carmilla’s bed. A guy apparently. But I can barely see anything because it’s too dark and the only source of light is the moon. So I open the door gently to take a better look and I swear this man looks at me through the mirror but before I know it, he disappears.

“What the…” I walk in completely, sandwich in hand, and find Carmilla sitting on the bed.

“What’s up, cupcake?” She asks normally with her usual pale-ish color in her cheeks. Wasn’t she horribly sick a few hours ago?

“I swear I just saw someone here…” I look at her face, hoping to catch some recognition in her eyes, but I don’t. I see nothing (I can barely see anything already but still). So I turn on the lights and she really is indeed sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed.

“Well, I AM in here.” Her tone sounds as sarcastic as always. Goodie.

“No, I mean someone else…”

She raises her eyebrows, as if expecting me to say something really stupid, so I decide to stay quiet.

“Anyway… I see you’re feeling better.” I smile nervously.

“I am.” She lies down again. “Told ya, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, you did.” I laugh nervously.”Um…” I slowly approach her, sandwich in hand. “I brought you something.” I extend the plate over her head, making her sit up again.

“Sweet.” She practically rips the plate out of my hands and takes a huge bite of her food.

She silently eats without saying another word.

Um, you’re welcome? “So yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Hm.” She continues eating, ignoring my existence.

“I should go…”

She ignores me again.

So I sigh and look at anything else but at her as I slowly walk backwards.

And that’s when I see it.

A brown, paper bag. Next to her boots. That wasn’t there this afternoon, was it? I should know… I was the one who placed the boots in that exact spot when I took them off of her…

“What?” She finally acknowledges me. Great.

“Nothing.” I give her a smile and the bag one last look before heading to the door. “Bye.”

And as I head to my own room, I wonder what the hell this girl is hiding from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all soooo much for your kudos and comments<3 you inspire me to continue writing.


	4. The Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i should let you guys know that these are the same Carmilla and Laura we met at Sillas, except that we know more about their life before college and they happened to meet a bit sooner. And the story is going to be different (more dramatic, I can say). Anddd a lot of things are going to change, don't expect the same youtube story. But, where I'm trying to get at is that we all know what Carm is hiding... But Laura doesn't. 
> 
> Soon, our other beloved characters are boarding along, so hang on! 
> 
> Again, thank you all for your support!

Carmilla is going to be the end of me.

Due to the insanely amount of stress and panic she made me go through last night, my good night’s sleep turned into a good night’s stakeout. Sleeping seems to be a no-no for my body, since all I can imagine is that face looking at me through the mirror’s reflection, Carmilla in my arms, and the weird brown, paper bag.

Everything about the situation was so unusual and it’d be easier if she weren’t once again acting as if it didn’t happen. She woke up relatively early today (1 pm) and even ate some breakfast, but she still treated me the same. Same sarcasm, same witty pet names. I don’t get her… That has been stated before but it’s true. She’s the biggest mystery I’ve ever encountered and all I wish to do is solve her. 

But it is slowly becoming mission impossible since she is careful enough to not leave any clues behind. 

When I went back to her room this afternoon, the bag was gone. Poof, vanished, never seen again. Sure, the searching time was cut short since she takes a whole 3 minutes to take a shower, but it seemed to be out of sight. 

And in my long, sleepless night, I decided that the bag could have contained one of the following:  
1) Food, of some sort. But I highly doubt it since she was too weak to walk, how could she have climbed down the window to go to the nearest Chipotle?  
2) A personal belonging she does not want us to get a hold of, but this doesn’t explain how she got better out of the sudden.  
3) Or… drugs. This could explain the person I saw in the mirror; maybe she was getting a delivery. And it also explains why she texted a person “i need it”, being the drug the “it”.

The internet once again proves to be useful, as it showed me the symptoms of someone who is suffering from a drug withdrawal, and the following apply with Carmilla’s case:  
1) Shakiness or trembling (when she tried to text, she was shaking like a Chihuahua)  
2) Sweating (and hotness, which were also her symptoms yesterday)  
3) Insomnia (my dad says she goes to sleep every morning at around 6 am and wakes up around three, meaning she only sleeps for about 8 hours, which people say is enough but we all know it isn’t)  
4) Irritability (sarcastic much?)  
5) Loss of appetite (I don’t think I’ve seen her digest a whole meal)  
6) And so on..

My dad DID say she was found on the streets and not to generalize, but what is the number one thing you can find on the streets? Drugs! Maybe she was a part of some gang or something and now she’s addicted to the substance. It could be a possibility, although I’ve never seen her high or anything.

But I can’t talk about this with my dad without evidence that isn’t coincidental with internet facts; I need proof. And I honestly don’t want to rat her out, in fact I don’t judge her for the drugs. It’s her life, I understand she may feel like that’s the only thing keeping her sane. I honestly just want to know for myself, to comprehend her. But it can be months before she lets proof slip.

Meanwhile, tomorrow my college adventure begins.

So maybe, just maybe, leaving the Carmilla Chronicles aside for a while will be smart, considering I haven’t even washed my hair (which happens to be incredibly greasy) for tomorrow and it’s already getting late. 

So maybe that’s what’s best for tonight.

“Maybe…” I whisper to myself as I walk by a very bored looking Carmilla on the hallway. “Just leave it for later.” It takes some great will power to lock the bathroom door behind me and just take a shower like a normal, not worried about her housemate’s life person, but I somehow manage to do my stuff and after a while, my appearance looks hot hot hot.  
And the face Carmilla makes once she seems me after my “pre-first day” preparations confirms it. 

Let’s just hope everyone else finds me pretty enough to be respected.

-The Next Day-

So maybe this was a mistake; the whole “college” thing, I mean. Maybe leaving my home for reasons that include socializing with other people one has to face the rest of the semester isn’t one of my talents. Maybe I should get homeschooled or maybe getting a bachelors isn’t as important as everyone makes it out to be cause who the heck doesn’t have one of those now a days.

Yeah, maybe quitting does sound like a good idea. I could be a journalist without studying; the talent overflows my tiny body. I should call my dad and discuss my plan before my first class (which happens to be at 1 PM) approaches since he’s at work and he’s going to be leaving early just to take me. But no, maybe going isn’t useful. Because who the heck is ready to face a giant university all on their own?! Not me! That’s who!

“What are you doing?” Her voice startles me in such a way, that even my Goosebumps get Goosebumps. 

Wait, it’s three already? Wasn’t it 11:29 like a minute ago? My eyes scan the clock on my wall quickly before realizing that yes; it is indeed 11:30. Well, that’s unusual. “Why are you   
awake so early?”

“I asked you a question.” She leans against my door frame, staring intensely.

“Fine.” Giving in her game at this point is less stressing than fighting against it. “I’m getting ready. Now, why you are you awake?”

“It doesn’t seem like you’re getting ready.” She drags out, her voice as raspy as always. And she didn’t answer my question. Cool. 

“Well, I am.” 

“You look ready already, Freddy.” She seems to smile at her lame joke. So that’s why she’s always so sarcastic, she doesn’t know how to be funny without it. 

“Ha-ha.” Rolling my eyes won’t make her go away right? “My dad will get here soon.”

“From what I saw, you were marching around your bed, making that weird, creepy face you make whenever you are concerned.”

“It’s funny how you never seem to speak to me whenever I feel like talking.” Hoping to calm my nerves, I sit on the edge of the bed, legs tightly together. “Yet you always spark a   
conversation when I’m stressed.”

She leans away from the doorway and slowly enters my room, glancing around. “And what’s humorous about that, cupcake?” 

“It’s not actually funny.” I clarify, watching her every move. “It’s inconvenient. Annoying. Bothersome.”

“Seems to me like someone is nervous about her first day.” She finally looks at me and I almost copy her small smile. Almost.

“Pfft…” I say audibly. “Me? I’m not nervous.”

“Sure you’re not.” She sits on my window seat. She also gets comfortable by lifting her dirty boots on my clean window seat. Mental note: clean later. 

“I’m not.” I probably don’t sound convincing at all but when have I ever been a good liar? “I’m fine.”

“Sure.” She looks out of the window and stares dramatically into the distance. “College is pretty neat, you know?”

“You say that like if you already graduated from college.” I mock her playfully, but she seems to tense up at that. I furrow my eyebrows.

“Well, that’s what you see in movies. High school is a dreaded nightmare while college is a livid dream. So I’m assuming that there has to be a bit of truth in that.” She looks at me again, her eyes softer. That’s something you don’t see every day.

The thing about moments like this, in which Carmilla openly gives her opinion about something, rarely come by but when they do, you need to grab them and savor them for as long as she lets you. If there’s anything I know about her, it’s that. You never waste a profound moment with Csrmilla. “What do you want to major in?”

“Like in college?” She asks.

“Yeah. Like in college.”

“Well, philosophy has always captivated me.” Her shy response resonates in my head. 

“Are you going to college? You know, once you turn 18 and get out of the system.” 

“Maybe.” She doesn’t add anything else.

“Maybe?” I ask.

“Maybe.” And here comes the vagueness again. This is the moment in which you need to stop prying in her life before she makes you feel like horse crap.

“Maybe I am a little bit nervous.” My hand subconsciously places my hair behind my ear, but it’s when she smiles at me that I notice my previous action. Suddenly, my eyes are   
glued to the floor, my cheeks burning. “It’s stupid, I know. I bet you’re not scared of anything.”

“Again with the stereotypes.” Her amused laugh helps her turn her head to the window once again. 

“What?” My voice asks, trying not to laugh.

“You assume that I’m fearless just because I seem to come from a bike gang.” I swallow nervously. Shoot, is she on to me? How does she know I think she comes from a gang? “All I’m missing is the damn helmet. But you’d be surprised to know we all fear something, or someone, or someplace, or some time.”

“I can now imagine you studying philosophy.”

She moves her body and takes her feet out of my window (thank God) and sits normally, now staring at me as always. “You’ll have fun. Don’t worry.”

“You really think so?” Whispering seems to work at this moment.

“Yeah. I do.” And before I know it, the moment is over, and she heads back to the door. “Call your dad. You’re going to be late.”

“Thanks…” 

And she disappears into the hallway.

Everything about this girl is unexpected; her voice, her actions, her thoughts… She’s a mystery I’m dying to solve. But in this moment, at this time, in this place, I swear I wouldn’t   
mind spending the rest of my life trying to figure her out.

And the thought alone terrifies me more than my first day of college.


	5. The First Day

“Money?” My dad asks, driving through the gates of Silas University.

“Got some.” My answer sounds a bit shaky. My hands also appear to be shaking.

“Pepper spray?”

“Got it.” We pass by a group of kids with some backpacks on. I gulp.

“Bear spray?”

“Also got it.”

“Tazer?”

“Dad, don’t you think you’re being a bit over protective?”

“Nope.” He makes a left turn; we’re getting closer to the Communications building. The thought alone makes me shiver even more. “Tazer?”

“Got it.”

“Notebook? Pens? Pencils?”

“Dad, I have everything, relax.” Even if he sometimes overdoes it, this is exactly why I love him so much. He always makes time to take care of me. Honestly, I wouldn’t survive this college anxiety without him. … And surprisingly, without Carmilla, either.

“Good.”

We get closer and closer and I swear I’m about to throw up.

“You’ll do great.” He speaks up, sensing my nerves.

Taking a deep breath, I answer truthfully. “I hope so.”

And we make a stop. ‘My nerves are killing me’ definitely doesn’t cover my emotions at this very moment.

“Well…” My dad takes his seatbelt off and faces me. Are those tears in his eyes? “I know you’re a woman now, but you’re still my little girl.”

“Dad…”

“So…” I know what he’s going to do before he even moves, so instead of giving him the pleasure of doing it himself, I quickly remove my seatbelt and crash into his chest, embracing him completely.

“I love you, dad.” And I mean it. I feel like crying, but I don’t.

“I love you too, pumpkin.” He hugs me tight and my body craves to stay like this until my emotions get under control, but I start class in 20 minutes and arriving with ruined mascara won’t be too favorable for me.

So I let go. And those really were tears in his eyes.

“Have fun today.” He leans back against his seat. “Call me if you need anything. I’ll be here at 5.”

“Thanks, daddy.” And I also mean it.

“Now go before I keep you hostage.”

His smile gives me confidence I need, so I give him one last hug, grab my bag, and get out of the car. Taking what appears to be my 100th deep breath of the day, I wave goodbye  
and walk towards the big, tall Communications building across the field.

“It’ll be okay, Laura.” I whisper back at myself, taking more confident strides. “This isn’t high school.”

And for the rest of the walk, I believe it.

 

-Ten Minutes Later-

“204…204…204…” Searching for a classroom seems to be harder than anyone told me it would be. And asking around doesn’t feel like a safe bet for me, either. So instead, I take out the building map I was handed at orientation day to see if by any chance, someone marked the classroom.

So there are 5 floors in the building. And each floor has a lot of classrooms… And according to this map there should be some stairs at my right some feet away… So maybe I should go to the lobby again? Or maybe it’s-

“Freshman!” Someone yells out a little too close to me.

And before my mind catches up with what’s going on around me, my senses feel something hit my head. And before I know it, something is dripping into my arms.

Gasping, my body turns around on its own and I find a group of guys running away, laughing, and everyone seems to be staring and enjoying the show.

“What the…” I stare at my arms, frozen, before looking up again.

Once I do, everyone appears to be laughing, and my chest starts tightening. Not all of this again…

“Hey!” I think I hear someone exclaim. “Show’s over! Leave the poor girl alone!”

My vision gets all blurry and I swear all I can see is everyone laughing. Oh God, I can’t breathe… Nonononojustbreathejustbreathejustbreathejust-

“Hey…” I feel something or someone gently touching my arm and as an instinct, that same arm throws a punch.

Both my mind and my senses return when I hear an “ow” and my knuckles start throbbing.

“Fuck!” Cursing isn’t my thing but desperate times call for desperate measures. “I’m so sorry!”

Apparently my punch threw out this guy’s balance because he is currently on the floor, clutching his nose. Great, now I feel worse.

“I’m so sorry!” I kneel down by his side and some people stare and walk away. “I’m so sorry, oh my God!”

“It’s okay…” He finally faces me and is that… blood?!

“You’re bleeding!”Saying it out loud doesn’t make it untrue, unfortunately.

He checks his hand and sees a pool of blood dancing around it. “Damn, hottie. You throw some mean punches.”

Hottie? “Um, yeah I guess. We need to get you to the nurse…”

“This is college.” He starts getting up and I follow. “The only medical help you get here is halfway across campus.”

“Darn, I’m sorry. I just took karate when I was a kid and you scared me and-”

“It’s okay.” He wipes his nose off with his shirt, making a huge stain. “I’d react the same way if I just got egged.”

Egged? As an instinct, I smell my arms and realize that yes, I really was egged. “Crap…”

“Next time, don’t take out your map.” He points at the paper in my hand. I feel my cheeks redden. Of course, rookie mistake. “Just take a picture of it and read it on your phone.  
Only freshmen need maps to get around.”

“Thanks.” Trying to put a chunk of hair behind my ear, I realize that the watery part of the egg is still dripping all over my body. “Do you know where the bathroom is? I need to get this off.”

“Of course, I’ll take you, just follow me.” He heads out and my legs follow.

“So did you already take your first class?” He wonders.

“No.” I answer and check my watch. Crap, 5 minutes until 1. “Oh God, my class starts in 5 minutes…”

“Hey, mine too!” His contagious smile makes me feel a bit less embarrassed about everything. The taller guy wipes out his nose again before continuing talking. “Which class?”

“Intro to Investigative Reporting.”

“With professor Cochrane?” He wonders.

“Yeah!”

“Me, too!”

Did I just accidently make a friend from my same class? “Really?!”

“Yeah, totally.”

“I was actually searching for the classroom before of all this…” My fingers point between my head and his nose. “Happened.”

“Tell you what, after we clean up a bit, I’ll take you to class.” He offers as we walk through the insanely long hallway.

“Thanks.” I smile back at him. “You’ve been a huge help.”

“Well, as a Zeta brother it is my duty to help hotties like you feel comfortable.”

Yep, he just said the word “hottie” again. “Okay.” My answer sounds a bit forced; probably because it is. “But my name is Laura, not ‘hottie.” I can’t tolerate more nicknames from  
people I barely know

“Okay, Laura the hottie.” At least he’s nicer than Carmilla. “Here we are.” He points towards the two bathroom doors and lets me walk upfront.

“Thanks, I’ll be quick, I don’t want us to be too late…”

“We won’t.” He replies. “She’s always late to her classes, so no need to worry. And the classroom is a few feet away. Besides, I need to wipe the blood off.”

“That’s good to know. And I’m still sorry about that.” My eyes roam around the hallway, getting used to my new surroundings. “Be right back”.

He nods and lets me walk into the bathroom.

Once inside, I quickly take a paper towel and clean my arms, my head, and my hair. It takes me a few minutes and my hair doesn’t look as pretty as before, but I am pretty satisfied with the results.

When I exit, my eyes find the guy waiting for me outside. He looks cleaner and he somehow made the bleeding stop, but his shirt still looks incredibly bloody.

“Done?” He asks.

“Yeah.” Glancing around, I realize no one is staring and remembering what happened a few minutes ago. Difference between college and high school number one. “What’s your  
name, by the way?”

“Kirsch.” The taller boy extends his hand to shake mine. “Nice to meet you.”

“Same.” I smile as I shake his hand.

This isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

“Come on, we don’t want to be too late.”

“Yeah, right.”

We walk in silence for a few seconds, until my voice speaks up again. “Are you also majoring in journalism?”

“No, it’s just an elective.” He answers. “I’m guessing you are?”

“Yeah, I am.” And I’m proud about that.

“Cool.” He looks at his left, towards a hallway. “Here we are.” We walk inside it and walk towards a guy standing in front of a classroom. Once we get closer and my eyes meet his,  
my body gets a weird sense of déjà vu, shivering in the process. I think I’ve seen him before…

“There you are!” The guy exclaims. “I thought you were going to ditch.” He roams Kirsch’s body with his eyes and they widen as soon as they see the blood. “What happened to  
your shirt?!”

Was he the one who egged me?

“No, I was just helping Laura…” Kirsch points at me and I wave awkwardly at the familiar guy. “Get to class. And the blood? Let’s just say she’s feistier than she appears.”

“Ah. Trying to play the knight in shining armor again?” The guy teases, making my smile alter.

“What?” Kirsch looks at me and I feel him tense once my eyes look away. “Of course not, we’re Zetas. It’s our job to protect everyone in here.”

“Sure.” The guy smiles charmingly at me. Did I see him at orientation day? “I’m Will, in case you were wondering.”

“Hey…” My voice sounds shaky again. Darn it.

“We should head inside, before our professor gets here.” Will concludes and Kirsch and I nod in agreement.

Once inside, I sit in front of Kirsch and next to Will and even if they’re still sorta strangers, I feel a bit safer with them by my side. They’re a kind of safety net and at this point, I’ll  
take whatever I can get.

And strangely, having a safety net makes me feel… normal. It makes me feel hopeful, thankful, like a normal teenager. I didn’t even have a safety net back at school and sure Will  
is a bit creepy, but he’s someone. I ACTUALLY met people in my first day. And who knows, maybe we’ll even be friends.

Friends. That does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

I smile as they both talk about something pointless because for the first time, in a long time, I feel like a part of something. And it feels nice…

Things MAY actually be okay here at Sillas.

….  
…..  
……..  
………..

At least that’s what I thought before I saw Elsie Stevens sitting in the middle of my Intro to Investigative Reporting class a few feet away from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you all for your kudos and comments!


	6. The Sunlight

“You know, you guys don’t HAVE to do this.” After I told Kirsch the whole “Elsie” thing after class, he gallantly decided that I was some sort of lost puppy (or hottie, however you want to say it) who needed his help. Evidently, he tried to prove his loyalty by becoming my self-assigned student guide for the day. It’d annoy me if his assistance wasn’t desperately needed (I still have to figure out in which building my next class is given), so for now, I accept his offer. For now. But of course, his buddy Will wasn’t too thrilled about the idea.

“We do, actually.” Kirsch says with pride and confidence. “Zeta policy.”

Will just sighs. 

“I know I probably sound really stupid asking this but… What’s a Zeta?”

“What?” The taller boy’s eyes almost fall out of his head. Clearly, he doesn’t get asked that too often. “You don’t know what a Zeta is?!”

“It’s a type of fraternity or society or however you wish to call it.” A resigned Will takes charge of the conversation. “We’re all ‘bros’ I guess.”

“Dude, you guess?!” And apparently, he barely hears that either. “We are! We are bros in action.”

“Gross.” The smaller boy whispers.

“And it is our duty to make this campus safe.” Kirsch concludes.

“Awesome.” I reply because what else can I say?

“Anyway…” Will sighs again. “Where’s your next class?”

“Um…” Following Kirsch’s advice, I took a picture of both the maps and my schedule on my phone during class. It takes me a few seconds to find my schedule on my picture gallery, but as soon as I do, I give them the information needed. “It’s in the English department.”

“Then we should head…” It takes Kirsch a second to locate the building, but once he does, he guides us to it. “That way.”

“Okay…” 

“So what class do you have next?” The more interested guy wonders.

“Literature in modern Ages.” I answer.

“That’s boring.” Will comments, making me raise an eyebrow because since when is modern literature boring?! Modern is modern, it’s revolutionary. “Don’t get me wrong…” He obviously noticed my shock. “I don’t think literature is boring, just the modern one. The first novel’s made history, those are the ones we should be discussing. Like Hamlet, Othello, The Count of Monte Cristo…”

“Yeah, but come on, don’t you rather read about a boy who dies of cancer and says incredibly… poetic things?” Kirsch argues back.

Snickering, I bring down his argument. “I’m pretty sure we’re not going to be reading The Fault in Our Stars in a college course.”

“Who knows?” Will paces next to us. “These modern generations do anything to keep other people’s attention.”

“Hasn’t every generation done that?” I question out loud.

“I can assure you that not all of them lived worrying about other’s opinions.” The smaller guy shakes his head and glances towards his shoes.

“I guess it depends on how cool your professor is.” Kirsch pitches in. That I can agree on. “Speaking of, who’s teaching you Lit?”

“Umm…” I once again find myself checking my phone for information. “Professor Blake?”

“Whoa, whoa, THE professor Blake?” The taller guy exclaims a bit.

“Um, yeah, I think so…” His reaction is now worrying me. “Why?”

“Dude, I’ve heard the most awful stories from that guy.” That sounds promising. “I heard last year, he failed a whole class just because his cat died.”

“I heard that last semester he threw a trashcan at a student.” Will adds.

And now I’m petrified.

“Are you sure it’s the SAME Professor Blake?” I question. “This university is huge, I’m sure there are other Blake’s here.”

“Hold on, let me check.” Kirsch takes out his phone and starts typing away.

“What’s he doing?” I direct my question to Will.

“I’m assuming he’s going to ProfComments.com.” He answers casually.

As if I knew what that was already.

“And that is…?” I drag out.

“It’s a website where people post comments of their Professors. They rate each and every one of them and there you know if you should take the class or not.”

“That seems useful.” Honestly, it does.

“Nope, just one Blake in the English department.” Kirsch confirms their theory and puts his phone away. “Which means that you should get a new Lit class.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because your current professor is Satan.” The blondish boy explains in simple terms. “And a hottie like you deserves better.”

“My name’s Laura…” I try to remember him.

“Well you do, Laura.” He concludes.

“Then what should I do?” My eyes find Will’s; I don’t want him to make him feel left out or anything.

“Go to the English department and drop out of your current class and find a new one.” He answers shortly.

“Great…” I nod, trying to seem confident. Except I’m not. “Where is that, again?”

“We’ll take you.” 

I hear Will groaning next to me. 

“Come on, bro, we already said we’re going to take care of her.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘take care of me’ but…”

“Fine.” He agrees. “But can we eat some lunch first? I’m starving.” 

“Fine.” Kirsch also agrees. “Then let’s go.”

The thing about “plans” is that if people don’t specifically tell me if I’m invited or not, I don’t know how to react. If I follow behind them, they may feel uncomfortable and eventually tell me that they’re just having lunch for two. But if I don’t, they may awkwardly ask themselves why I decided to not go with them and feel like I don’t appreciate their company (which I do). So instead, I stay quiet, and let them tell me what to do because there aren’t any guidelines to explain how to react when your friends make plans without you.

“Laura, do you like pizza?” Kirsch asks me as we keep heading forward. And it looks like I am indeed invited. Score!

“Yeah, sure.”

“Cool, we have some leftovers at our dorm. We could both share a few slices.” Wait… Dorm? “Since Will only drinks his weird protein shake.”

“It’s healthy.” Will comments.

Dorm?

“What do you say, Laura?”The tall Zeta bumps his elbow against my arm. “Sound good?”

“Um…” How does one deny weird college invitations from the only people who have been nice to you all day? “Well…”

“We’re not going to have a threesome, if that’s what you’re wondering.” And the shorter Zeta talks about the giant elephant in the room.

“What?” My cheeks start feeling all hot and sweaty. “I-I wasn’t thinking about that.” 

“Oh, Will’s totally right.” Kirsch also addresses the situation casually. Am I that big of a perve? “We’re not like that. We totally think that girls deserve respect and equal pay and whatnot.”

“As promising as that may sound… I think I’d feel a bit more comfortable if we didn’t go to your dorm.” If there’s anything my dad has taught me is to not go to lonely places with strangers. 

“Okay, I’m cool with that.” Kirsch nods his head casually. The fact that he didn’t force me to go relaxes me a bit. “If you want, Will and I can get the stuff and you can wait in the lobby.” 

“That sounds better, but really it’s okay… I don’t want you guys to go through any trouble…”

“We won’t.” Kirsch guarantees me. That also makes me feel a bit more at home. “Do you have a dorm, freshman?”

“No, I’m staying home, at least for this semester.” I answer truthfully.

“Did you apply for next semester?” Will asks.

“No… But I will. As soon as I feel more comfortable here.” 

“You should really fill out the form as soon as possible.” Kirsch comments. “If you wait until the last day, there won’t be any dorm lefts.”

“But I’m not sure if I even want to stay here.”

“Filling out a form doesn’t mean that you’re getting a dorm.” Will starts explaining, as if it were so obvious. “It just means that in a few months, before Christmas break, you’re going to get a call and they’re going to ask if you really want a dorm and whatnot. And if you say you do, you’ll have to pay a certain amount of money and boom! You have a dorm. But if you say you don’t, they’ll just call the next girl who applied. It’s a no-strings-attached policy.”

“I guess I could do that…”

“You can. And you should.” Kirsch suggests.

Maybe that is a good idea. 

“The dorms are over there.” He points at yet another huge building in the middle of the giant field. 

And the three of us, together, walk towards it.

-16 Minutes Later-

Once the boys head upstairs to their shared dorm, I decide that it’s time for me to loosen up and explore a bit. It’s been a while since I’ve had the pleasure to do so (no, my expedition to Carmilla’s room doesn’t count as exploring). The first thing I realize when we enter the giant building is that this lobby is HUGE. There are humongous couches with smaller coffee tables in front of them, which in total all could fit a hundred people. And besides that, there are two medium-sized TVs, one in each wall. Some people are paying attention to it, others are just too self-absorbed in their laptops (which means that there’s free Wifi in here).

On the right side, there’s a flight of stairs headed to the guy’s dorms, and on the left, there is another enormous flight of stairs leading us girls to our own rooms. And students casually walk up and down both of them. 

So I figure that maybe, just maybe, it’d be okay for me to head upstairs to see what I can find…

“Excuse me.” A female voice distracts my inner monologue. My eyes find hers in a matter of milliseconds. “Are you lost?”

“Um, no.” I reply, placing a strand of hair behind my ear. “I was just… Looking around.”

“Are you a student here?” She questions further.

“Yeah.”

“Can I please see your ID?”

I awkwardly open my back pack and take out my student ID card. “Just for curiosity, why am I being stopped when there are so many people just walking up and down the stairs?”

“They’re regulars and we’re forced to memorize their faces. People who don’t have dorms aren’t allowed to head upstairs, unless they are with a fellow student with a dorm. ” She hands me back my card. “I see you’re a freshman.”

“Oh, yeah, I am.”

“Are you interested in acquiring a dorm for next semester?”

“Umm… Maybe. Not sure yet.”

“Well…” The confident girl glances to the desk, making sure someone else is taking over. She finds a red-head in her post. “If you want, I can give you a tour.”

“That’d be great!” I’d probably get lost without her. “But I can’t take too long; some friends of mine are coming back soon…”

“Then we’ll just take a minute.”

“Okay.” I agree. “Thank you…” 

“I’m Betty.” She extends her hand and gives it to me to shake.

My firm grip shakes it back. “Laura.”

“I know.” She lets go.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I ask, “How do you know?”

“Your student ID Card?” She reminds me.

“Oh!” The palm of my head lightly hits my forehead. “Right.”

“Well, let’s go Laura. It’ll only take a few minutes.”

And we head up the stairs.

-A few minutes later-

And I am now officially in love with the dorms.

Everything about them is perfect! They’re roomy, comfortable, they have their own bathrooms, the beds seem nice… They are literal sunshines. 

And the atmosphere was so college-y. Everyone was so nice and they seemed pretty mature. And not lonely at all, because there are people everywhere. Now I regret not applying earlier.

“I’m glad you liked them.” Betty smiles as we both head back to the lobby. “It’s more or less the same in every floor.”

“That’s amazing. Honestly, I loved it.”

“Why didn’t you apply for this semester?” She asks.

“Now I’m not sure.” I laugh. “I don’t know, I guess it all felt too overwhelming. I wanted to make sure I even liked college before officially staying here.”

“That’s completely understandable. I was super nervous for my first semester, too. I think we all have been.”

“I bet.”

“But how has your first day of class been so far?” Betty looks at me expectantly.

“Pretty decent, surprisingly.” My answer sounds pretty confident. “The only two not decent parts of my day were that I was egged earlier in the afternoon…”

“Ah…”

“And I’m going to have to apply to some new Lit class because apparently, I somehow ended up with a horrible professor.”

“Do you have a class in mind?” We head towards her desk.

“No…”

“Well, I think I could help you with that!” Her excitement makes me all excited.

“Really?” My smile takes over my whole face. This day has definitely been blessed. “How?”

“Danny?” Once we reach the front desk, we walk towards the redhead who took over her shift earlier. She raises her eyes once she hears her name being called out. “This is Laura.”

I smile at her.

“Laura, this is Danny.” Betty continues.

“Hello.” Danny says with a smile on her face.

“She’s a freshman.” Betty explains. 

“Ah, baby meat.” Danny comments.

“She’s a freshman who needs your help.” Betty informs her.

“What for?” The redhead stands up from her chair and dang, she’s extremely tall.

“Laura, Danny and I are fellow Summer Society members.” Betty explains. “And it’s our job to help people in the campus.” 

And now I’m assuming they are the female version of the Zetas.

“So..” She continues, grabbing my attention again. “Danny here chose to help fellow professors. And believe it or not, she’s helping a Lit professor this semester. She’s a TA.” 

“Really?” My eyes widen. This day has definitely been blessed.

“Yeah.” Danny confirms. “What’s wrong, do you need a Lit class?”

“I do, actually. I’m dropping out of one which means I need to replace it.”

“Then I am your woman. There happens to be a few open spots in my class, I could hook you up.”

“Really?!” I seriously can’t believe all that’s happening.

“Yeah. Just…” She then hands me a blank piece of paper with a pen, while Betty stares at the exchange. “Write in your student number, your name, and your phone number. I’ll do it as soon as I get my laptop.”

“That’s amazing, oh my God, thank you so much!”

“No need to worry about it.” The tall girl genuinely says as I write my information down. “Class is on Tuesdays and Thursdays, at 9 AM.”

“That seems great.” I mean I would prefer a class a little later, since my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays start after midday, but I’d only be alone for an hour and a half, so it won’t be that bad. “So starting tomorrow?”

“Yep.” Danny confirms. “I’ll send a text tonight with the class information.”

“Okay, thank you, really.” I look in between Betty and Danny. “To both of you.”

“It’s our job to help confused freshman.” Betty mocks.

I laugh a bit, as my hand places the piece of paper on the desk. “Thank you. And how do I drop out of a class?”

“You can do it online.” The redhead informs me. “Just go to your profile and drop out, it’s really easy. But you have to do it before next Friday.”

“Okay, that’s good to know.”

“And do you also want to fill an application for a dorm?” Betty wonders, flashing a board with a paper on it.

“No strings attached?” I make sure.

“No strings attached.” She promises.

Extending my arm, I grab it from her hand and start filling everything out. Once the application is almost complete, my ears hear someone calling my name. Turning around, I find Kirsch and Will with some plates. 

“There you are.” Kirsch says once he gets closer. “And you are hanging with the Summer Society!” I swear I sensed a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

“Are you friends with some Zetas?” Danny asks, ignoring Kirsch and Will. “Wow, Laura, I thought I liked you.” She smiles, letting me know she’s kidding.

“I’m guessing you’re all in rival societies?” I infer.

“I guess you can say that.” Will drags out, staring between Betty and Danny.

“Okay then.” Well this isn’t awkward at all. “Well, thank you both so much.” I look at Danny and Betty who seemed amused by the guy’s presence. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Danny.” My body takes off after leaving the application behind.

“See you, Laura. I’ll text you tonight.”

“I’ll await the text.” And we wave to each other as the boys and I walk away.

“How do you manage to befriend both Zetas and Summer Society members in your first day?” Will asks as we all sit on a part of a couch.

‘Befriend’. I automatically smile at his insinuation. “I don’t know.”

“I guess you have a talent for trouble.” Will slurps on some of his drink as he gets comfortable.

“Here’s your plate.” The blonde frat guy hands me my slice. “Bon Appetite.”

And we eat and talk the rest of the afternoon.

 

-At 5 PM-

“Dad, you have to be more specific!” A disadvantage of studying in a big university: having your father get lost in it as he drives around. “There are trees everywhere!”

“Ask him if he sees the basketball court.”Will suggests.

“Do you see a basketball court?” I question my father over the phone.

“Yeah! I do!” 

“Aren’t there like 3 basketball courts here?” Will wonders.

“Okay, never mind.” I keep trying to find some sort of reference point but all I can think of is the dorm building, which happens to be right behind me.

“Are you with some guys?” My dad asks. “I heard some manly voices.”

“Dad, that’s not important right now!” It really isn’t.

“How old are they?”

“Dad!” I grunt, trying to distance myself a bit from the boys so they can’t hear our conversation.

“She’s probably having sex with them.” I hear someone say from his side. What the…

“Carmilla, that’s not helping right now.” My father says to the foreign voice.

“Wait, you’re with Carmilla?”

“Yeah, she wanted to come. Why?” 

She wanted to come? She wanted to come pick me up? Well, that’s completely out of character. 

… And unexpected.

… And sort of sweet.

“Can you put her on the phone?” I formulate a weird plan.

“Sure.” From the other line, I hear some movement, until a familiar voice wakes up my senses. 

“What’s up, cupcake?” She asks. Oh God, her voice sounds deeper on the phone. And the nickname somehow managed to get more annoying.

Concentrate, Laura.

“Can you see a giant building in the middle of the campus?”

“Um…” Movement. “The one that’s brown and sort of gold-ish?”

I glance at the building, which is indeed brown and gold-ish. “Yeah, that one.”

“What about it?”

“I’m in front of it.”

“So?”

“Can you walk to it to guide me back to the car?” 

“See, that sounds like a lot of effort.”

“Please? It’s really hard to find parking here and I don’t want these guys to think I’m weird.” I glance back at them from a few feet away. They seem to be busy talking about something else.

“Looks like someone has a little crush.”

“What?!” I hear my father exclaim.

“First of all, you do not say that to my dad. It may cause him a heart attack. And second of all, no, they’re just guys. I just want to make friends.”

“Okay.” She sighs dramatically. What is it with people sighing today? “Fine. I’ll be there in a few.”

And she hangs up.

Heading back to the frat boys, they ask me where my dad is.

“I don’t know. I just asked someone who’s with him to walk over here and take me back to the car.”

“It could take them 10 minutes to get here, you know?” Will asks, his smile forever sarcastic.

“I know, I just don’t know where is. And the place where he dropped me off today is like 20 minutes away. I’m guessing he’s a bit closer than we think.”

“Well, okay.”

And we continue talking as we wait.

Until finally, from a distance, I see someone in all black head our way. 

Is she wearing some sunglasses? 

“There she is!” I tell them and they turn her away.

A small gasp comes from Will’s mouth, lightly startling me. “Carmilla?” I swear I hear him whisper, confusion in his voice.

“What?” I face him. Did he just say her name?

“What?” He faces me.

“Do you know her?” 

She gets closer.

“Who, your emo friend?” The dark haired guy asks, crossing his arms. “No.”

“You just said her name.” I swear he did…

“No, I didn’t.” 

“Yes, you did, I heard you.”

“Then you heard wrong.” And he looks away.

What the…

“Whoa.” Kirsch breathes out, his eyes transfixed on Carmilla.

Oh, no. “Don’t do that.”

“How can I not, she’s like an angel hottie.”

I scoff because no she’s not. She is a mess and no, he shouldn’t be looking at her like that. No one should look at Carmilla like that. And I wish she wouldn’t be wearing some random sunglasses at this moment because it’d be cool to know if she’s looking at him that way, too. You know, for my research on her.

And before we know it, she’s directly in front of us.

“Come on, cupcake, I don’t have all day.” She says as she pushes her hair back…

Making me notice that she is wearing MY sunglasses. Great.

“Right.” I turn around and find a love struck Kirsch and an unimpressed Will looking our way. “Thank you both, for everything.”

“Yeah sure.”Kirsch continues staring at Carmilla.

If he keeps looking at her like that, I may slap him. 

“See you around.” And we walk away before he jumps on her.

“What’s up with your friend?” She asks as we head to the direction she came from.

“I don’t know.” Looking over my shoulder again, I find Kirsch still staring, making my blood boil. “Let’s just go.”

“Fine.”

And for a second, I almost forget how Will knew Carmilla’s name.

Almost. 

But before the questions arise, I glance up at her. And… I notice the way she squints her eyes even if she’s wearing sunglasses. I guess she hates the Sun like that.

And the way she sometimes clenches and unclenches her jaws as she’s walking.

And I get fixated on how the black really does compliment her skin tone, even if she looks really pale.

And I get lost on the almost invisible freckles on the left side of her face.

And I’m amazed at the way she carries herself. She seems so confident one second, but the next she glances down and insecurity leaks from her pores. She should never feel unconfident. Sure, she’s a pain in the ass, but she’s a beautiful annoyance you can’t get enough of.

And frankly, I don’t blame Kirsch for staring. I guess the brightness makes something mysterious and addicting look soulful and captivating.

And I know I shouldn’t look at her like she’s the moon and I’m just a howling wolf, but her beauty is unquestionable. Maybe that’s why she’s so miserable; the World doesn’t let you be both beautiful and happy or else you’d have too big of an advantage. 

“I can’t concentrate on my walking if you keep looking at me like if I were some strange animal at the zoo.” She snaps me back to reality, making me look at where we’re going. 

“Sorry.” I gulp nervously. “It’s just that the sunlight looks good on you.”

She glares at me for a second but continues walking. “Okay…”

“You should let it in your life more often.”

And her eyes, under those sunglasses, find mine for a few, brief seconds. And even if I can’t see them, I feel them analyzing my face, looking for some sort of trace of a lie. 

I just smile.

And when she doesn’t find any, she looks forward, gazing around us.

And I swear, I swear with all of my heart, that for a split second, her eyes didn’t squint under those heavy sunglasses.


	7. The Social Worker

“The bathrooms upstairs are done.” I say as I bring a bucket of dirty water downstairs.

“The kitchen is done.” My dad meets me halfway, forehead filled with sweat.

“My room is done.” A lazy Carmilla says from the couch as she simultaneously watches some TV and eats some chips. 

“You do know this is for you, right?” I question from a distance. “You COULD help out more.”

“I could.” She chews loudly.

“You are impossible.” I sigh, dropping the bucket on the floor as my body faces my dad’s. “So, what do we do now?” 

“Now we shower.” He answers bluntly. “And we get ready. We still have an hour left.”

“Can I take a little break first?” My puppy eyes always seem to break him down.

“Fine.” He smiles. “But be quick, kiddo.” My dad hugs me playfully and then heads upstairs. “Thanks for your help.”

“Always.”

After my dad leaves, my body slowly lets itself recline against the wall, facing the living room, where Carmilla is coincidently sitting. Staring at her is always fun. She usually does nothing but in those moments, she seems genuine. I think we’re all genuine when we do things without really thinking about them. Like, when we grab a chip and place it in our mouths. It may seem normal, but they always reveal something about ourselves because if you think about it, no one grabs the chip the same way. Some go one by one until finding the perfect chip. Others just take a handful and stuff them in their mouths (Carmilla is one of those). And others don’t even eat the damn thing. And that’s why I like to stare when she’s doing nothing, because it feels like I’m getting closer to something. Something like a secret or a personality trait. 

Since she’s still hiding behind thousands of walls.

The college thing is making harder my investigation. It’s been a week since my first day and since her sleeping schedule doesn’t match my class schedule, we are barely even talking anymore.

Sure, it’s a bit more relaxing, but it makes me anxious to know that I don’t know the person across the hall.

I guess only real journalists understand the struggle.

“You don’t need my approval to sit next to me, sun dance.” She says without glancing my way.

“I know.” I lie. “I’m just tired.” I lie again.

“Boo hoo.” She takes yet another handful of chips and chews them out.

Rolling my eyes, I decide it’s best to just join her. If I’m ever going to crack this mystery, it’s a necessity to gain her trust. 

The couch dips heavily after I throw my body on it. “Watcha watching?”

“The Vampire Diaries.” She replies effortlessly.

Huh. “I never would have pinned you for a sappy, romantic, vampire show watcher.” 

“Who said I liked it?” She stares at the screen.

“Well, you’re watching it, so…”

“You really like making assumptions about people, don’t you?”

“So you don’t like it?”

“Assumption number two.”

And this is why I don’t like talking to her. “Well, I’m curious.”

“Then just ask.” She mumbles. “Don’t assume.”

“Fine.” I resign. “Do you like The Vampire Diaries?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

Furrowing my eyebrows, I ask: “Then why are you watching it?”

“Because it’s fun, cupcake.”

“The show or torturing yourself by watching something you don’t like?”

“The show.” She finally looks at me. I gulp. “I mean, it’s a story about two brothers who fall for the same, naïve girl. Besides the fact that that’s the ultimate cliché, they worsen it by making them vampires. Why would two vampires, aka people who have eternal lives, decide to fight over some human they just met? It’s ridiculous.”

“Oh, come on.” I argue back. “It’s actually a good show.”

“Sometimes it is, but I hate the stupid vampire stereotypes.” She leans back, glancing at the TV again.

“As if vampires were real.” My eyes fall on her body, a playful smile on my face. “You can stereotype the fake as much as you want because it’s your imagination.”

She sighs, finding my eyes with her own. “I guess you’re right.”

The thing about her eyes is that sometimes they shine and sometimes they don’t. And at this very moment, they are.

I like them best when they do, it makes her glow. 

We stay in silence for what feels like a lifetime, just staring at each other. And I want to stay like this for an even longer lifetime, I do, but her eyes suddenly darken and I find that familiar sadness staring back at me. And I could ignore it, but I can’t. It makes me sad to know she decides to suffer in secret when I’m here for her…

“What’s wrong?” I whisper, not wanting to ruin the moment.

“Nothing.” And she looks away. 

I sigh, missing her stare already. “Are you nervous?”

She takes a deep breath before answering. “I don’t get nervous.”

“Carmilla...” I try again.

She looks at me and I decide to assume that no one really treated her with pure honesty because she has to make sure I’m being sincere before responding to my moments of kindness. I make a mental note to ask her about it later.

“A bit.” She admits.

“My dad has passed every single check up. You have nothing to worry about. They are not going to relocate you.”

“How does it work exactly?” The pale girl asks before eating a single chip. “This is my first time being in the system.”

“The social worker who placed you here is going to come over to check if everything is alright, if you’ve adapted. They also come to make sure the place is hospitable. And if it is, you stay here. If it isn’t, they’ll take you and place you in the next available home.” 

I expect her to ask more questions or to even get a bit nervous, but she doesn’t. Instead, she nods. “Sounds easy.”

“It is.” I respond.

Silence again.

“Don’t you have to shower?” And now she’s kicking me out.

“Um, yeah.” I swiftly stand up, giving her one last glance in the process. “Do you need anything else?.”

“Nah, I’m good.” She turns the volume up.

And Carmilla is now done talking.

And I head upstairs, wondering when I’ll be able to talk to her for more than five minutes.

 

-An Hour Later-

 

Normalcy is an unstable thing.

You’d think it shouldn’t be since what feels normal is usually constant and familiar, but we are human. We are always evolving, always growing. So our sense of stability changes with our new needs and circumstances.

So as I sit in between Carmilla and my dad, as we watch some episode from The Vampire Diaries, waiting for Carmilla’s social worker, I notice that this never happens. We’re usually never together, just hanging out. We don’t even get to eat all the same table. But oddly enough, this feels normal. It feels nice. And I wonder why it doesn’t happen more often, because it should.

After a while, the doorbell rings and we know it’s show time.

“You guys ready?” My dad wonders.

“Yep.” I reply.

“Sure.” Carmilla gets up.

And we head to the door. 

“Sabrina, hello!” My father greets the woman as he lets her inside. “How are you?”

“Good, Michael.” She smiles with a folder in hand. “How are you?”

“I’m good, thanks for asking.” He motions towards me. “Do you remember my daughter Laura?”

“I do!” She acknowledges me with a smile. “You’ve gotten taller.”

As my dad’s pride and joy, I’ve been pretty much forced to attend every single office party ever made, so I either know all of the employees, or they all remember me.

“You can say that.” I smile in return. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Likewise.” And she then addresses Carmilla. “And how are you, honey?”

“Good.” Carmilla shrugs casually. By now I know this is her way of shutting people out.

“I’m sorry I took so long to get here.” Sabrina follows my dad to the kitchen, where she places her folder down. “We had some problems in the office.”

“What happened?” My dad asks as Carmilla and I awkwardly follow behind them.

“One of our teen girls went missing.” The tall blonde informs him. “And we’re suspecting she didn’t run away.”

“Why?” My dad asks.

“She left everything behind. And her room looked messy when her foster parents went to check up on her.”

“Messy enough to look like it was angry trashed or messy enough to look like a crime scene?”

Carmilla and I stay quiet, looking at the exchange.

“Let’s just say we found traces of blood in the walls.” She drags out.

“Damn…” My dad whispers. “What are we going to do?”

“We’re just trying to keep it under covers. We don’t want this to get to the press.”

“That’s very important. I guess it’s all you can do until the blood results come in.”

“Exactly. Buuuut” In a swift motion, she opens her folder. “Let’s start this check up.”

After around half an hour, my dad and I sit in the kitchen table as Sabrina asks Carmilla some basic questions in the living room.

“I always forget how easy these are.” My dad says with a proud smile. “Everything went smoothly.”

“Thanks to you and me.” I scoff. “We were the ones who did all the work.”

“Lauraaa.” He laughs softly. “Don’t complain about that.”

“I can’t help it, I’m exhausted.” I reply, groaning.

“Well, I am, too, so we are even.”

“Blah.” 

“At least she’s still here.” He glances towards the two for a quick second.

“What do you mean?” 

“When I first saw her, I thought: ‘This girl is hurt’. You could tell by the way she’d look at everyone. Her eyes looked lifeless and dull.”

So he notices it, too.

“I agreed to take care of her because it could have taken a few days to find her a home since she didn’t even know her social security number, but I thought she was going to fight it. But regardless, she came. And she’s still here. Not like that other girl, who went missing.”

I furrow my eyebrows, understanding his implication. “You think she ran away, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” He sighs. “Most do. They feel as if it’s the only way to gain control over their lives.”

“What if she didn’t?” My dad looks at me carefully, listening to my argument. “For all we know, something horrible could have happened to her.”

“I guess I rather believe she left.” He looks at Carmilla and at Sabrina again, making me take a glance, too. “It’s easier to accept.”

“It’s still not the truth.” I whisper as Carmilla pushes her hair back with a small smile on her face.

“We’ll figure it out soon enough.” My dad gets up and heads to the fridge. “We just have to give it time.”

“Guess so.”

“Michael! Laura!” Sabrina calls out. “We’re done!”

“Coming!” My dad yells back. 

And we both head to the couch.

After joining our guests, my dad is the first to speak up. “Soo… How did it go?”

“Great, as usual. And Carmilla seems to be pretty pleased with her present home.”

I smile at that.

“So that means we passed?” He tries to clarify.

I look at Carmilla, who appears to be disinterested in what’s going on.

“You did.” Sabrina smiles. “But…”

“What?” 

“I, uh…” The serious tone in Sabrina’s voice suddenly makes me very nervous. “We couldn’t find Carmilla’s records…”

“And what does that mean?” I glance at my dad who looks just as confused as I do.

“Carmilla, have you always lived in this country?” Sabrina inquires, ignoring my question, her tone now delicate. 

I lick my lips as I look at Carmilla expectantly. She doesn’t even glance at me. 

“Yes.” She answers shortly. “Why?”

“Are you sure?” The blonde presses on. “You can tell us the truth, we won’t take action if you haven’t.”

“I said yes.” The pale girl next to me visibly tenses. 

I really don’t like where this conversation is going.

“Carmilla, I can’t help you if you’re not being 100% honest with me…” 

I tense at Sabrina’s word.

“Who said I needed your help?” She spat back.

“You’re in a foster system now. If you don’t help us, you’ll-”

“I’ll what?” Carmilla’s usual static face changes into one I’m now scared of. “I’ll fuck myself up?! Is that it?!”

The social worker glances downward. I can feel her biting back her tongue.

The couch dips a bit as Carmilla moves to the edge of her seat. “You can try to be all nice to me all you want, but you’re not my boss! You’re not even mom!”

“I don’t think you understand the severity of the situation.” Sabrina’s tone also changes to a darker one. “There’s no 17 year old Carmilla Karnstein in any hospital, police, or even   
school record. In fact, there’s no reported Carmilla Karnstein’s in the country, meaning that you may not even be real.”

“Right, cause I’m clearly Laura’s imaginary friend.” 

Laura. Laura. She said my name. 

“If you’re lying to protect someone…”

“Sabrina…” My dad finally speaks up. 

“I’m not!” Carmilla assures us.

My heart starts racing. I really don’t like where this is going.

“Then what is your name?” The blonde stares at her.

But Carmilla stares back. “Carmilla Karnstein.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“Sabrina…” My father echoes.

“Carmilla…”

“Yes, that’s my name.”

“Tell me the truth.”

My eyes dart between the two, my mind racing.

“My. Name. Is. Carmilla.” She spells out carefully.

“I don’t believe you.”

“It’s the truth!”

“Will it still be the truth in front of the police?”

“Sabrina!” My dad stands, dominance in his voice. 

She did not just threaten her like that. That bitch.

“Michael, she’s clearly lying! What if she’s a criminal in the run?!”

“Can I talk to you? In private?” He suggests.

Sabrina sighs as she stands up and they walk towards the kitchen. 

The defeated Carmilla softly sits slides back to the couch, her neck vain popping out. “Goddammit…” She places her elbows on her knees as she hides her face behind her hands. I hear some muttering behind me and if this weren’t about Carmilla, I’d try to eavesdrop as much as possible, but I can’t take my eyes off of the girl sitting a few feet away. 

My heart aches for her. She looks so… sad. So small… So fragile… And I want to comfort her so bad. I want to hug her and tell her everything will be alright. That I don’t care if her name is Carmilla or Maria or Patricia because all that matters is that she’s safe. 

But I can’t. Because it does matter. Who she really is has mattered to me since we met. And now Sabrina pretty much confirmed that this girl has too many secrets to keep and I want to figure them all out.

But dammit, she’s so sad and she deserves the best…

“You know how we found her, Sabrina!” And apparently my dad has lost his temper.

“This is your home, Michael! You have a daughter to protect!” I hear the tall blonde reply. “We don’t know who she is!”

At that, Carmilla’s legs start bouncing up and down. 

“How do we know her mother didn’t lie to her?!”My dad inquires. “What if she doesn’t know her real name?!”

“Do you honestly believe that?!”

“This is a minor we’re talking about!”

“If she even IS a minor!”

I hear Carmilla take a deep breath as she pushes her hair back with force. 

She can’t leave tonight… I’m not ready for that…

My dad and Sabrina thankfully lower their voices again, silence taking over the room. 

This is the part where anyone normal would say something to calm the other down, but my mouth is dry and my heart is beating faster than usual and I’m pretty sure Carmilla is pulling her hair a little too hard.

I want to fix this. I do. I really do. But this isn’t my fight. And all I can do is stare and hope she doesn’t crumble.

Minutes pass. 

The front door opens and closes.

And my dad finally comes back to the room.

“I’m sorry, Carmilla…”He says, but her face is still buried in her hands. “Tomorrow we’ll be meeting with our boss and I’m going to request to be your official social worker.”

The leg bouncing continues.

“We’ll figure this out…”

And before we know it, she’s running out of the room without saying a word.

And before I know it, I’m running after her.

“Carmilla!” I say as I follow her up the stairs.

She doesn’t even flinch.

“Carmilla, wait.” I try again.

Nothing.

I follow her into her room, where she walks to a wall and punches it hard. As a reflex, my left fingertips caress my right knuckles, as if trying to smooth her pain. She then pushes her hair back for what feels the hundredth time, whispering over and over “Damn it, damn it, damn it.”

“Carm…” My voice comes out as a whisper, but this time she actually faces me.

But once she does, I freeze because… What am I supposed to say to her? I’m sorry? It’ll be okay? Who really are you? 

I guess I didn’t think this through…

But before I even formulate words, she walks up to me, determination in her face. “Give me your phone.” She demands.

“What?”

“Give me your phone.” She repeats.

“Can’t we just talk about it?” Because that’s honestly all we can do.

“No! Give me your phone.”

“Carmilla…”

“Give me your damn phone!”

I tremble at her voice, her eyes wide, and I fear her again. The way she looks at me scares me, the way she talked to me, startled me. And I should just back down but I can’t…

After a grunt, she reaches for my pockets, in an attempt to find my phone, but I push her back before she pulls it out.

“Are you serious?” She stares at me in shock.

“I’m not giving you my phone.” I deadpan, because I’m not. I know why she wants it and I’m not giving her the pleasure.

“What?” Carmilla dares me.

“You’re not getting more drugs, Carmilla.” There. I said it. I had to bring it up somehow. I don’t want her to waste her life like this…

She creases her eyebrows, anger in her eyes. “Drugs?”

“I know you’re taking them.” My voice is trembling but this is something I need to address. “But I’m not letting you.”

I don’t know what I expected. Maybe for her to confess, maybe, or hell, for her to cry. But she doesn’t. Instead… She starts laughing.

And it’s not the usual ha-ha-ha you hear on the streets, it’s a deeper laugh. A desperate laugh. A sarcastic laugh. And that just makes me want to slap her.

“You think I’m doing drugs?” She asks both amused and furious.

“I know you are.” 

“And what makes you so sure?”

“Those were withdrawal symptoms you were having. And I saw someone in your room before you got better.”

She laughs again. “So you assumed it was drugs?”

“Well, yeah…”

“And what did I tell you about assuming?” She gets closer, her voice vicious. 

I gulp as I take a step back. “That I shouldn’t do it…”

“Right.” She mumbles. “And what did you do? You assumed.”

The unusual heartbeat comes back. Or it never really left. At this point I’m not sure. “I-”

“I don’t do drugs, cupcake.”She whispers, once her face is inches away from mine.

Why is it suddenly so hard to breathe? “I-”

“Give me the phone.” 

And I give in and place it in her hand.

“Good. Now leave.”

And she pushes me out of the door.

And before I know it, she locks herself in her room.

And I’m phoneless. 

And I’m furious and frustrated and mad but… I still want answers.


	8. The Assignment

And I had yet another sleepless night.

At this point, I can safely say that this girl is making me crazy (and not the good kind of insanity). 

I spent my night on my computer (and by the way, she never gave me my phone back) trying to locate a Carmilla Karnstein in the world and I got nothing. Nada. Zero. As if she never existed. In fact, the name Carmilla appears as a typo, like if it isn’t even real.

There exists a possibility of her having all of her social media in private, meaning that it’ll be almost impossible for me to find anything, but she doesn’t even have a phone, how would she be able to access them? 

“Laura!” My dad knocks on my door. “Hurry up, we need to leave soon.” He then leaves.

“Just a minute!” Closing all my tabs, I stand up and quickly change. After making sure everything needed is in my backpack, I head to the hallway, only to find Carmilla leaning against my doorframe. “Whoa…” I gasp. “You scared me.”

“I know.” She crosses her arms.

“Um…” After taking a deep breath, I awkwardly push my hair behind my ear. “Do you need anything?”

“I came to give you back your phone.” She then uncrosses her arms and wiggles my phone in her hands. “I figured you needed it.”

“Oh, yeah.” My hand touches hers as it reaches for the device. “I do need it.”

“Yeah.” She crosses her arms again.

“Yeah.”

We stare at each other again, just like yesterday, except this time it’s tense and awkward and I don’t really like it anymore.

“Do you need anything else?” I ask.

“Uh, no.” She pushes herself away from the doorframe. 

“Okay.” I say.

“Okay.” She replies.

And she turns around, walking towards her own room, but her steps are slow. She looks as if she’s dragging herself away. And after a few seconds, she faces me again and walks to the door. This time she doesn’t lean against it.

“Listen… I also want to apologize.” She looks away as she places her hands in her pocket.

“What for?” Because there’s A LOT she has to apologize for.

“For scaring you.”

“Oh.” That’s a bit disappointing. “It’s okay, I just didn’t notice you had sneaked up on me.”

“No, not for today.” Her eyes slowly look up again, this time they look timid. “For yesterday.”

“Oh…”

“I just… I recognized the fear in your eyes.”

Now I’m the one who looks away.

“I don’t…” She breathes out. “I don’t want to scare you.”

“It’s okay…” 

“It’s not, I shouldn’t have done that…”

“You shouldn’t have… But you did, and it’s okay.”

“Okay.” She nods.

“Okay.”

“So, um, you should go.” She motions to the hallway. “Your dad is waiting.”

“Right.”

“Have a nice day.” She gives me a small smile and this time, it looks like she’s leaving for good.

But before she does, I speak up. “Carm?”

She faces me again.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You already did.” She breathes. “But yes, you can ask me something.”

“If it’s not drugs then…” My voice resonates, its tone unsteady. “What is it?”

The taller girl standing in front of me exhales in defeat. “Laura…”

“Please…” I urge her. “You can trust me…”

“Kiddo, this isn’t about trust.”

“Then what is it about?”

She stares at me and I can almost see her brain trying to formulate an answer. 

“It’s…” She starts. “Complicated.”

“It doesn’t have to be…”

Carmilla pushes her hair back smoothly and by now, I know that she does that whenever she’s frustrated. I don’t want to frustrate her though…

“Look…” She replies. “I appreciate you asking and not jumping to conclusions like a cheap gossip magazine, but there are things I choose to keep to myself and you need to understand that…”

Her voice sounds gentle. She’s trying to be nice to me. 

Well, that’s new.

“I know and I have tried to respect your privacy…” She rolls her eyes, but I keep going. “But this is getting out of hand. I’m pretty sure they’re going to take your case to court if you don’t cooperate.”

She stays silent.

“So… If it’s not drugs then what is it?” I try again.

“I’m not screwing your dad over.” She avoids my question, her sassy attitude coming back. “Okay? If that is what’s worrying you, I promise I am not going to hurt his career.”

“It’s not just about that…”

“No drug addicts are going to come after you, cupcake.”

“It’s not about me, either…”

“Then what is it?!” She raises her voice a bit. 

“It’s about YOU.” I emphasize.

“What about me?!”

“I’m worried about you!”

She deflates. And so do I.

“I’m worried about your safety.”

“I-”

She tries to speak up, but I interrupt her. “I don’t want them to take you away.”

She stares at me and I don’t flinch. 

Carmilla needs to believe me. She needs to believe somebody actually cares. Because I do. God, she hasn’t even been here for two weeks but I really do care...

“At least not yet…” I whisper.

“Laura!” I think I hear my dad scream from downstairs. “Hurry up! I need to go to work soon!”

“You have to go.” She ends the conversation.

I sigh, resigning. “If you want, you can come with us… My dad is going to the office afterwards but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind bringing you along…”

“I’m pretty sure no one would feel comfortable talking about the mysterious runaway when the mysterious runaway is in the room.” She jokes.

But she doesn’t laugh. On the contrary, her eyes look sadder than before.

So I decide to let it go. “True.”

“So yeah… I guess I’ll see you later.”

“I guess.”

And she’s gone. And minutes after, so am I.

After an half an hour car ride, I get to the university and I walk towards my next class. Once in the building, I jog to my classroom, only to be greeted by Kirsch in the entrance.

“Laura!” He approaches me. He stopped calling me hottie after the second day of us hanging in class and I am more than thankful for that. “There you are.”

“Hey, sorry I’m a bit late. I was sort of… held up.”

“By your hot housemate?”

“Kirsch…” I warn him.

“I’m sorry! She’s just so… jfijfnfjnamimni.” After he makes some inhuman voices, I roll my eyes.

“I know, you’ve said it before.”

“Do you know if she has a boyfriend yet?”

“I told you… I barely know anything about her.” He is seriously getting on my nerves.

“Can’t you ask her?”

“Kirsch, if you want to know so badly, why don’t you ask her yourself?” I don’t mean to lose my cool but this is seriously the last thing I need right now.

“I should, shouldn’t I?”

Oh God. “Can’t you just let it go?” I plead.

“I can’t, dude.” He sighs, a smile on his face. “She’s perfect.”

And now I’m nauseous. “Okay Romeo, whatever you say. Where’s Will?”

“Oh, he’s inside.”

“Okay… So why are we out here?”

“I don’t know, I was waiting for you.”

I smile weakly at him and head inside, Kirsch following behind. I sit on my usual chair and notice Will isn’t anywhere near me.

“Where is he?” I turn around to ask Kirsch.

“Um…” He glances around, trying to locate Will. “Over there.”

He points at a crowd at the back of the classroom, where I spot Will’s back.

… And he’s talking to Elsie?

“What the…” I mumble.

“Whoa, isn’t that your mortal enemy?”

I scrunch my eyebrows. “Yeah…”

“That’s weird…”

And apparently Will said something funny because she’s now laughing her pretty butt off.

I look away.

Luckily, the professor walks in a few seconds later, and Will sits in his usual spot.

“Hey.”He says to me. 

“Hey…” I reply.

“Good afternoon, students.” Our professor starts.

Why would Will talk to Elsie? They’ve never even acknowledged each other before and now they’re best buds? That doesn’t even make any sense!

“Research!” My professor’s voice zones me in. “Does anyone know what it means?”

A girl raises her hand.

“Yes?” The professor acknowledges her. 

“To investigate.”

“To investigate.” She nods. “What else?”

“To gather information.” A guy pitches in.

“Good. Anything else?”

“To find something out.” Kirsch speaks up.

“Yes.” She agrees. “Does anyone know how to properly research, though?”

We all stay quiet.

“Well, that’s what we’re here for, right?” She smiles. “First we need to know if the topic we are researching is a “hard research” or a “soft research” or if it’s both.”  
And now we’re taking notes.

“A hard research describes scientific and objective research, meaning that it is solely based on facts. Soft research describes topics that are more subjective, meaning that it’s more opinion-based. And when it’s both, the research is harder because you need to use facts to justify an opinion.”

I write everything down as fast as I can.

“After identifying the type of research, you begin to investigate in the adequate places. If it’s a hard research, hit the library. If it’s a soft one, go up to people. And then comes the tricky part. You need to ask the right questions.”

Isn’t every question a right question?

“If you’re trying to prove that McDonalds is unhealthy, you do not Google ‘how many calories does a McChicken have’ because calories tend to go with diets, not directly with health. Instead, Google ‘what is a McChiken made of?’ and you’ll figure out what unhealthy really means.

Since this is your third class and we already discussed the syllabus, you all know you are going to hand in a final, big research paper.”

Some grunt.

“And today I will give you the topic and what type of research I want.” She takes out a sort of bowl from her bag and when she moves it, we notice it is filled with some papers inside. “You will pass this around, pick a random paper, and that is what you will be doing.” After handing a student on the opposite side the bowl, she continues talking. “As the semester progresses, we will keep discussing research and investigative techniques and I will help you along the way. It’s going to be at least 50 pages long, in double space. And you need to make extra time for any other homework I send.”

Looking at the bowl’s expedition around the classroom, I realize it’s already half way from me.

“The topic is unchangeable. Before class ends, each one of you is going to tell me the topic and the type of research you’ve been assigned and I will write them down. The reason I’m giving it to you now is because you all need to start working on your assignments.”

And it reaches Will.

He takes out a piece of paper and hands the bowl to the person behind him.

“Try to evidence how harmful electrical devices are.” Will reads to us privately. “Use hard research. Great, this seems boring.”

The professor continues talking as the bowl keeps going around.

“Dude, it’s not that bad.” Kirsch whispers.

“Eh.”

And now Kirsch has the bowl. He takes a paper and hands the rest to me. I do the same with the person in front of me.

“Try to demonstrate the importance of feminism.” Kirsch tells us. “Use soft research.”

As he and Will discuss his topic, I read mine.

Well… I guess it’s… Interesting?

“What did you get?” Will murmurs.

“Try to prove the existence of the supernatural creatures: werewolves and vampires.” I mumble. “Use both hard and soft research.”

“Yikes.” Kirsch laughs. “That sounds hard.”

Indeed it does.


	9. The Spilling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo, guys! Sorry for the delay, I was in Orlando for a few days and today's my birthday so woooo. These last couple of weeks have been hectic, buuut, here it is! Enjoy!

Knock, knock, I softly pound Carmilla’s door.

“Yeah?” She replies from inside.

“Dad’s home.” I inform her. “He wants to talk to you.”

After he picked me up after class, he dropped me off home and went back to the office for a couple of hours. Apparently, Carmilla was stirring up the pot back in his department.

It makes me happy to know that somebody else gets what she makes me feel.

A few seconds later, she opens the door and reveals herself. “Okay.”

And we head to the living room in silence.

“Carmilla!” My dad greets her from the couch. “How are you today?”

“Pretty decent.” She sits on my opposite side, her posture sluggish.

“Okay, well, your special situation made things fun today.” My dad tries to joke.

Carmilla just stares.

“Anyway…” He continues. “As I was sure of, Sabrina exaggerated things a bit. There was no need for the unnecessary drama. By law, even if it rarely happens, if a child is pretty much a ghost but alone, our department is supposed to take indefinite custody of them. So you will not be kicked out.”

My insides explode in happiness.

“But…”

My insides panic.

“We are concerned over the fact that you have no records here… You are a teen and you have obviously received some level of education. Everything about what’s going on is bizarre and people keep thinking that you are not who you say you are…”

She seems to be paying close attention to the conversation.

“So, what’s going to happen is that you will be staying here with us while they keep trying to find more information on you. They may even interrogate you. And if I’m not mistaken, you will be turning 18 in December?”

“Yes.”

“Since we will trust what you say for now, that means that you will be under our custody until then. Obviously, you can stay her for as long as you need if things go smoothly. But that is the plan for now.”

“Well…” She sighs. “That’s not so bad.”

“It’s a pretty good deal, if you ask me.” He replies.

“Okay then.” She stands up with a grunt. I try to not stare at her belly when her shirt rises for a short while. “Then I guess I will go back to my room.”

“However you wish.”

“Wait!” She can’t just leave like that! She hasn’t left her room since I got here! “Why don’t you stick around a bit longer?”My voice sounds shy. “I bet you’ve read that book you have a thousand times already.”

“I have…” The taller girl lingers on. “But I kinda wanna lay down… I didn’t get any sleep last night…”

“Oh.”

My dad visibly tries to focus on the TV to give us some space (he has always been respectful like that).

“But… If you want, you can hang in my room for a while.”

Did… What? I mean… What? Did she just openly invite me to hang out in her cave?

“Is that a no?” She asks after I take some time to reply.

“No!” I nervously respond. “I mean, Yeah!” After clicking my tongue, I try again. “It’s a yes.” And my voice is finally even. “Let’s go to your room, then.” 

My dad smiles at me as we walk away together. I know it’s his way of saying “you’re finally making friends!” and that feels rewarding enough. 

Passing the kitchen, Carmilla stops in front of the fridge and opens it with confidence. I grin at the fact that she feels comfortable enough in here to do that. 

“I’m making myself a quick sandwich.” She takes out the ham and cheese smoothly. “Want some?”

“No. It’s okay, I’m pretty full.” 

She nods as she goes for the bread. 

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you eat something that’s not candy.”

“And what do you call dinner, sweetie?” A concentrated Carmilla sets everything on the counter.

“Well, it’s dinner.” I reply as my eyes follow her movements. “And you barely even touch it.” 

“True.”

I take a mental note at the fact that she uses a lot of Mayo for her sandwiches. 

“I don’t know.” She continues. “I guess I’m not a food fan.”

“What?” I exclaim. “Who doesn’t like food?!”

“I think I just answered your question a few seconds ago by saying that I don’t love food.”

I playfully roll my eyes. “I know, but food is big for us teenagers. We’re always hungry.”

She shrugs casually as she places three pieces of ham in between her two cheese slices and her bread. “I guess I learned how to control it.”

“Huh.” I take another mental note. “That’s new.”

She places her cold sandwich on a plate and nods towards the stairs. I follow behind her.

“I suppose.” She answers.

“So, what do you do in your room all day?” I don’t think I’ve ever felt this comfortable around her.

“Read, sleep, eat… That’s pretty much it.” 

And now we’re in the hallway.

“Don’t you get bored?” I wonder.

“Occasionally.”

“It sounds pretty boring. Why don’t you come out of your hiding spot more often?”

And just on cue, we walk inside her room. 

“When I told you to ask and not assume, I honestly did not expect you to have so many questions.” She replies as she sits on her bed, legs crossed, and places her plate on top of them. 

“What can I say…” I settle on her pillow after closing the door behind me. “I’m a curious girl. It’s in my blood.”

Carmilla smiles softly as she takes her first bite. “Well, it’s not courteous of you to ask me a gazillion questions when all I know about you is that your name is Laura, you go to Silas University, and you’re majoring in journalism.”

“I think it is fair considering I may not even know your real name.” I jokingly bring it back and surprisingly, she smiles again.

“Why do I have a feeling you’re not going to let that go?”

“Because I’m not.”

“And my gut is once again correct.”

Giggling, I reply. “Seriously though, this is your home now. You don’t have to isolate yourself in here.”

She takes a second, bigger bite. “For how long has your dad been a social worker?” Carmilla ignores my question.

“For around ten years.” I respond, knowing that by now it’s best to just let it go.

“I’ve got to say…” Bite. “He’s really good at his job.”

“He is.” My body leans comfortably against the bed. “He has a passion for it.”

“It’s easy to tell.” Bite. “His eyes always seem to be shining. That only happens when we find our purpose in this big, lonely world.”

“Yeah…” Now that I think about it, he always seems to be in a good mood. “I guess that’s true.”

“He’s lucky he found his calling. Some can spend a lifetime searching for it, but will only run into dead ends.” Bite.

“It’s pretty sad. I think most of us are just trying too hard to be happy.”

“And once you stop trying, things just start falling into place.”

“Yeah…”I stare at her. I notice how she eats her crust before the filling. I find that both unusual and adorable. “It wasn’t an easy process for him, though. It took him a while for him to accept that my mom wasn’t coming back… It was hard. Death is complicated like that.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” She looks at me and I know she means it.

“It’s okay.” She resumes to eating. “It was just so sudden…”

Carmilla nods and I know she’s listening.

“They were hiking and my dad left her alone for a minute and when he came back…” It’s still a hard story to tell. “She was torn apart. The doctors said it had to be bears.”

The atmosphere around us gets gloomy and then awkward as she stays silent, as it always does when I talk about my mother, so I try to follow the previous statement with some optimism to let her know I’m okay (as I always do). “But everything happens for a reason… If that would have never happened, my dad would have never become a social worker. And he wouldn’t have helped all these kids… And I wouldn’t have met you… I wish my mom hadn’t had to die for him to find his calling, but I guess it’s worth it.”

“Can I be honest?” She finishes her meal and places her plate aside.

“Of course.”

“I secretly love the way your father protects you.” She looks at me again, this time more gently. “You’re like his precious, little flower.”

With a sad smile, I reply: “Yeah, but, sometimes it gets a bit annoying. Sometimes I just want to go to that party or have fun. He isn’t that overprotective either, but he does worry a lot. I know he loves me, though.”

“He does.”

She lays her body next to mine as her eyes seem transfixed on the lighted ceiling. 

Looking at her is always both comforting and scary. It soothes me to see her so close to me, but it also keeps me on high alert. I never know what I can expect around her. She’s a box of surprises and sometimes I wish I was as mysterious as her because maybe she’d want to figure me out, too.

But, alas, I talk too much and I burst my aura of mystery out of the window. 

“You’re not what I expected.” She randomly states. “At least not yet.”

“What did you expect?” I ask, not bothering to hide my obvious staring.

“I expected an annoying, spoiled girl who wouldn’t understand what it’s like to be alone.” She finally faces me, her eyes piercing into my soul. “But instead, you’re an annoying girl who tries to understand.”

“Was that a compliment?” I whisper.

“Maybe.”

And she looks away. “I’m thirsty.” She sits up straight again. 

Dammit.

“Then let’s head downstairs to get a drink.” I follow her lead and stand straight, too.

“Nah, it’s okay.” She says as she eyes her room. “I have a thermo here with something to drink.”

“Cool.” More alone time, score.

“And…” She takes a few steps until locating her thermo. “Here it is.”

My head nods as my eyes stare, taking a thousand mental notes. 

“Ahh…” She sighs after a sip. “Refreshing.”

She sits next to me again, placing the thermo on the floor.

“So, how’s college life treating you?” She wonders.

“It’s pretty good.” I answer in all honesty. “On Mondays and Wednesdays I usually hang with Kirsch and Will. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I see Danny, but we can never hang out because she’s always busy. So I’m usually alone those two days. And classes are good, also.”

“That’s good.”

Small talk Carmilla is unusual, but still enjoyable.

“I’d ask you about college, too, but unfortunately, you don’t go to any.” I state.

“True.” She shrugs.

“This may seem out of the blue…” I start. “And I barely know you, but you have a way with words.” I say in all sincerity.

She looks at me like she always does before believing any compliment I give her.

“You do! You are a smart girl. And you should get smarter in college, I know you’d be great in philosophy.”

She sighs before answering. “Who knows what will happen next year. Hell, who knows what will happen tomorrow? I don’t like planning ahead. It’s uncertain.”

“It’s always good to be prepared, though.”

“I suppose…”

“You know… I’ve known I wanted to be a journalist since I was a kid.” Before continuing to explain my story, I smoothly cross my legs…

… But I hit something in the process.

“Shoot…”I whisper as I glance to the ground and find the thermo laying down in the middle of a pool of… blood?


	10. The Meeting

And as expected, Carmilla got extremely angry once she noticed the situation at hand.

And as expected, she kicked me out before I could even ask what the hell she was drinking.

And as expected, she stayed in her room for the rest of the day.

What I did not expect was for her to flat out avoid me the following 24 hours. So it’s been almost two days since our last conversation, and of course, my mind has been racing with possible explanations. Goodie.

And as the research junkie that I am, and after going through every possible scenario, I decided she was either: a) drinking a very weird, alcoholic drink b) drinking a very fruit-punchy juice, or c) it was actual blood and she’s a vampire.

But of course, after a few seconds of consideration, I decided the latter is not an actual option, since vampires are not real (side note, it’s going to be a bit of a challenge to do a hard and soft-research project on the mystical; I guess I have a few months to figure that out).

In conclusion, I decided it was a very fruit-punchy drink and that there’s nothing to worry about because the more I thought about it, the freakier it would get. 

Yesterday was really uneventful, except that Will talked to Elsie again during class. Kirsch said ‘that’s just Will being Will’ and that I shouldn’t think they’re plotting against me or anything, which I’m not, but it’s nice to know I shouldn’t worry. Will I still take precautions? Of course, but at the time being, I’ve decided to let it blow over, especially since Elsie doesn’t even bother to look at me. I guess it’s progress.

And today, I am sitting in the middle of my Lit Class, waiting for the professor to dismiss us since class is almost over. But as the always-curious girl that I am, I couldn’t help but notice that Danny seems to be a little distracted today. I mean sure, she’s still helping the professor in whatever she may need, but she keeps sticking her head in her own papers. I’d like to think she’s studying but I don’t know… 

A few seconds later, we are dismissed. After taking my stuff, I decide to wait for Danny in the hallway and that’s exactly what I do.

“Hey!” I say as she gets out of the classroom, lots of papers in hand.

“Oh, hey, Laura.” She smiles, a bit agitated. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s great.” I smile back with a little shake of the head. “How are you?”

“A little stressed, but good.” She replies.

“Yeah, I kind of noticed.” I bring up casually.

“Yeah, sorry, I just have a Summer Society meeting in like ten minutes and it’s stressing me out.”

“How come?”

“It’s about a… sensitive topic.” She drags out. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Oh.” I nod, trying to not seem offended, which I’m not. “No, it’s okay. I’m not a member, so…”

“Well, what are you going to do now?” She asks, shifting her weight from one foot to another.

“Nothing, probably.”

“Then why don’t you tag along?”

Scrunching my eyebrows, I say, “But I’m not a Summer Society member.”

“Every member gets to bring one female friend to any meeting they want each semester. I haven’t brought anyone this month so I guess you can be my honorary guest.” She replies.

“Are you sure you want to waste that privilege on me?” 

“Sure.” She laughs a bit. “It’s not that big of a deal. Besides, you’re a freshmen. And a pretty innocent-looking one for that matter. I think it’d be really good for you to go to this meeting.”

“Well, then okay.” I agree, smile on my face. 

“Perfect.” She starts walking away. “Follow me.”

And I do. 

-20 Minutes later-

“We are gathered here today to talk about facts.” This girl named Mel starts the meeting. The members all quiet down and face her way, seriousness evident in their faces. I try to make the most concentrated face I can muster. “Some may say they are legends, but we know they are as real as me and you.” 

Mel walks to a white board with a marker in hand and writes “20 years” across it. “Every 20 years, 5 girls from campus disappear, reappear, and then disappear again. This has been happening since the late 1800’s and it has not stopped since. It’s been recorder for a while now, and every time is the same. And this year…” She writes the current date on the board. “Is the 20th year.”

Some girls start muttering around, so I take the opportunity to face Danny, who’s right behind me. “What is she talking about?” I whisper.

“You’ll see.” Danny whispers back. 

“BUT!” Mel raises her voices in order to get our attention again. “There’s no need to worry. Because this year, we will be prepared for any inconvenience any psycho may cause. And that’s why we are here today, to discuss a game plan.”

Mel gets closer to her medium sized audience. “Most people don’t take these sorts of things seriously, they tend to just flail around until panic strikes. And once it does, it’s too late. But this year, we’ll be taking it the extra mile.”

I shift uncomfortably on my chair as Mel writes something else on the board.

“Number one, shifts.” She reads. “You will all be taking shifts every once in a while, no exceptions. We will go to every party, every activity, every dark corner. We will discuss schedules later on.

“Number two, weapons. We will all have a walkie talkie at all times and some pepper spray in hand, since we are not allowed to have real guns in the campus.” 

“How do you know this person is going to attack this year, though?” I discretely whisper to Danny. 

“We don’t.” She replies. “But facts are facts.”

“Then how can you just put your lives on hold for something that may not even-”

“Excuse me.” I hear Mel say, my head snapping at her. And just like I feared, she’s staring right at me. Shoot. “Do you have a question, Danny’s guest?”

“No, I’m sorry.” I awkwardly shake my head, hiding behind my hair in the process.

“It looked like you did.” Mel starts heading my way, determination in her voice. I can see she’s not the kind of person who lets things go so easily.

“Uh… No, really.” I pressure on, my face getting hot.

“It’s okay, Mel.” Danny pitches in, making things a tad less tense. “She was just wondering why we’re worrying if we don’t know if the attacks are going to happen again.”

“Because it’s our duty as Summer Society Members to protect our fellow classmates and friends.” Mel answers my question, all eyes on me. “And of course you wouldn’t understand since you’re just a freshman, but-”

“Mel.” Betty, the girl I met on my first day, speaks up from the other side of the room. “It’s an innocent question, there’s no need to humiliate her further. She’s already blushing.”

And at that, I swear I feel my face lit on fire. 

“It’s not my fault she gets embarrassed so easily.” Mel sassily replies.

“Mel…” Danny tries again. “Forget it.”

“Fine.” She says. “What’s your name?” She faces me again, disinterested.

“L-Laura.” I mutter out.

“Okay, Laura.” Mel says. “Are you willing to help us catch this beast?”

“Uh…” Gulping, my voice sounds shaky as I reply. “I don’t know…”

“You don’t know?”

“Oh God…” Danny whispers next to me.

“I-I don’t know. Honestly, fighting evil isn’t really my thing. I’m more of a journalist.” And it is true, I don’t know the first thing about being a hero or a savior. I can barely even help myself, how am I supposed to help others? How am I supposed to save lives if all I know how to do is write a good article?

“It’s not your thing to help those in need?”

“Uh… I mean, I don’t think I’m good at it.”

“Danny, who even is she?” Mel talks to Danny.

Isn’t it great how there’s only like 20 people in this small classroom, meaning everyone can hear everything? It’s just, it’s amazing. 

“Mel, just run the meeting, some of us have class after this.”

And now I’m extremely uncomfortable. “Uh…” I stand up, all eyes still on me. I try to choke my nausea down. “Danny, I think I should go. Thanks for inviting me.”

“Laura…” She whispers to me. “Just ignore her.”

“No, it’s fine. This isn’t my scene, anyway.” I reply, hands a bit shaky. “I’ll see you around.”

Danny throws me a small smile. I figure it means she’s sorry. I wave at Betty on the way out and once I close the door behind me, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!


	11. The Friends

So after the most embarrassing meeting I have ever been to (and that’s coming from someone who was extremely bullied in high school), I ate some lunch, went to my following classes, and left. I’ve tried all afternoon to forget Mel’s hateful stare and her mean words, but I just can’t. They’re engraved to my brain. I genuinely thought all that humiliation was over after my last day as a Senior but clearly, I was dead wrong. I mean sure, it wasn’t THAT bad…

But it was still bad. I don’t think I’m ever stepping foot in another Summer Society meeting ever again. And hopefully, I never need to see Mel again either. I can only hope.

Anyway, after finishing some homework, I decided to sit on my couch and watch some old-fashioned cartoons. My dad left a while ago to finish some things in the office, so he isn’t available to cheer me up. And Carmilla is, you guessed it, in her room. And I don’t think she’s planning on coming down to greet me tonight. Maybe ever.

And as I watch some cartoons, my mind can’t help but think about the problem Mel was talking about. Five girls disappear every 20 years from campus and that’s something that probably hasn’t even reached the news. And yeah, sure, girls and even guys disappear from campuses more often than desired… But they never come back. And then disappear again. That’s just… Weird. I guess it’s good to know about these things so I can be safe but it’s still unsettling. And if I were this daring, strong-willed, witty chic, I’d help out. I’d volunteer long hours of my boring life to keep the campus safe. But unfortunately, I’m awkward and shy. Those two terms don’t seem to mix well with the title “hero”.

Suddenly, I see some movement coming from the kitchen, making me glance its way. And surprisingly, I spot Carmilla making herself a sandwich.

“Hey.” I quickly say, making sure she doesn’t leave before I speak up.

She either ignores me or doesn’t hear me. I choose to believe the latter.

“Carmilla.” I raise my voice.

“What do you want?” She replies without even looking at me.

“Um…” Slowly, I turn off the TV and stand from the couch. “I just want to talk. We haven’t really talked in like what, two days?”

“So?” She puts the cheese away.

“So… I don’t, know.” My feet drag me towards her like gravitational force. Once I’m close enough for her to hear me clearly, my legs stand still. “We live in the same house, it’s a bit uncomfortable to not talk to you when-”

“Okay.” She turns around, eyes piercing into mine, knife in hand. I gulp. “Let’s get one thing straight, Frosted Flakes. We are not friends, we are not roommates, and we are not sisters or anything like that. I am your father’s current responsibility. I’m his assignment. And yes, you are his daughter, so it affects you directly. But I don’t talk to you, I don’t bother you, and I don’t eat your stuff, meaning that you don’t have a reason to even look at me.” She finally places the knife aside as she turns around to finish her meal preparations. “So you worry about yourself and I’ll worry about me.”

She can’t be serious. We hung out in her bat cave two days ago and now we’re not even supposed to talk? Why does she always shut me out like this? “I said I was sorry, Carmilla.”

“Just let it go.” She places the mayo on the fridge.

“How can I when you obviously haven’t?” I counter back. She stays quiet, urging me to continue. “You’ve been all defensive since I accidently spilled your drink. And I’ve apologized a million times already, what else do you want from me?”

“I want you to leave me alone.” Carmilla then picks her plate up and heads for the stairs.

But before I realize what I’m doing, I quickly step in front of her, blocking her way. 

“Are you kidding me?” She asks, eyebrows raised.

“I thought we were passed this.” My voice sounds distant to my ears, probably because I’m a bit closer to her than I intended to be. “I thought we were at least sorta getting along.”

“Well, you thought wrong.”

I stare at her face complexion carefully, eyes roaming from one eye to another, looking for answers. Looking for patience. Looking for trust. And I swear I see a bit of a glimmer in her eyes. “I don’t like fighting.”

Carmilla steps back slowly, now eying the ground. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Cupcake, this isn’t about the drink.”

“Then what is it about?” My eyes find hers, begging for answers. I need to understand. I need to know what’s going on in that big brain of hers because I clearly don’t get it and it’s driving me nuts. Research is never 100% useful unless you have the full story.

Her pupils begin to dilate as they get lost in mine, and at this point, I feel like I’m seeing double but I don’t care. I need her to trust me. We need to talk this out.

She takes a deep breath before replying. “I-”

And just on cue, my phone starts ringing.

Grunting, I quickly reach for my back pocket, where my phone is, and I look at the screen. It’s Danny calling. “Crap…”

Carmilla sighs, using my distraction as a perfect opportunity to escape from me. “Whatever.” She mutters before leaving.

“Wait, Carmilla…” I try to say but she practically sprints back to her room. And that’s how I know this conversation is over… At least for now. So instead of following her, I pick up. 

“Hey.”

“Hey, Laura!” Danny says from the other line.

“Hey, Danny.” And I hear Carmilla’s door slam. “What’s up?”

“Finally got to my dorm.” She replies, my mind elsewhere. “It’s been a long day.”

“I bet.” I try to laugh. “I’m glad you’re finally in your room.”

“Me, too.” She replies. “But hey, I just wanted to apologize for today. Mel-”

“Nah, it’s okay.” I cut her off as I shake my head, avoiding unwanted memories. “No need to feel bad about it.”

“But I do, she should have been nicer. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well, what’s done is done.”

“I promise we’re kind of cool. Don’t let Mel make you think otherwise.”

“Right, cause you’re the coolest.”

“Of course I am!” She jokes back. “I’m the heart of the organization.”

“Of course you are.”

“Ha!” I think I hear her smile. “No but seriously, I’m sorry, Laura.”

“It’s okay, really.” I go back to the couch as I speak. “I’m just trying to forget about it.”

“About what exactly?”

“The embarrassment.”

“Yeah, that was kind of embarrassing.” She laughs.

“Ha-ha.” 

“But did you like the rest of the meeting?”

“You mean the 3 other minutes I managed to catch before she started insulting me? Yeah, I guess I did.”

“That’s good.” Danny seems to move. “Now you can see why I was so stressed. The 20th year is a bit overwhelming.”

“I bet it is, it must suck to get kidnapped.”

“It probably does.”

“Do you guys have a lead? Like, do you know if it’s a gang or a person or a sorority of some kind?”

“We have nothing.” She replies with a sigh. “The girls apparently never recall getting kidnapped. So it is a bit hard to find a lead.”

“I wish I could help.” My voice whines. “Mel’s right, I shouldn’t be so useless.”

“Hey, you’re not useless. Not everyone is born to do stuff like this; it requires a lot of skill.”

“But I should do something.”

“If you want, I can give you an easy assignment. Maybe you can inform me about every activity you hear of so at least two of us can go, to keep an eye on anything suspicious.”

“Yeah, I could totally do that.” I know it’s a pity thing, but at least I’m helping. Her offer surprisingly cheers me up.

“Great!” She exclaims. “But hey, I have to go. I’m glad you’re not too damaged after today.”

That also makes me laugh. “Okay, see you later.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” 

And she hangs up.

-The Next Day-

“Uh, excuse me?” The lady behind the counter raises her head in acknowledgement. “Where’s the supernatural section?”

“Second floor.” She says with a smile.

“Thanks.” I smile back.

Normally, on Thursdays afternoon, I spend my time with Kirsch and Will but Kirsch didn’t even come to class today because he felt sick and Will said he had something else to do. 

So as I wait for my dad to pick me up, I decided to start finding information for my project.

Once on the second floor, I head to the aisle under “supernatural” and find an extensive collection of books.

“Great…” This is going to take awhile. 

After what feels like a hundred hours, I manage to take some books to the nearest table, all about vampires and/or werewolves. It was a relief to not find any Twilight on the   
shelves; this generation has been brainwashed to believe that the Cullens are the only “cool” vampires out there, when frankly, I don’t get it. Bella was CLEARLY more attractive than both Edward and Jacob. But I guess I’m the only one who saw the light and never fell into that morbid trend.

As I read, I find some interesting discoveries on these two mystical creatures. Vampires are darker, they represent death. Werewolves are lighter, they represent the night. And apparently, both combined can be murderous. 

As I find some “legit” evidence on both and write them down on my notebook, I feel the chair next to mine get pulled back. Next thing I know, there’s someone sitting next to me.

“Vampires, huh?” The… I think she’s a girl?... says.

“And werewolves.” I reply, trying to seem as friendly as possible and not at all awkward.

“Those are cool.” She says as she puts her stuff on the table. “I prefer zombies, though.”

“Zombies?”

“Yeah, they’re underrated. Plus, their brain chemistry is completely different because it doesn’t function. Those are cool creatures. Don’t you think?”

“I guess that The Walking Dead made me thank God they don’t exist.” I smile shyly.

“You don’t believe in zombies?”

“Nope.”

“But you believe in vampires and werewolves?”

“I don’t.” I laugh. “I, uh, this is for a project.”

“Ahhh.” She leans back against her chair, completely comfortable. “What’s the project about?”

“I have to prove the existence of both vampires and werewolves using facts and speculations.” 

“You’re going to try to convince your professor those are real when you don’t believe it yourself?”

“Well, I want to be a journalist, and as journalist, it’s my job to keep my personal views aside.” She nods at my sly response. “As long as I use the right wording, there won’t be any problems.”

“Ha.” She replies. “Let’s hope you’re right then.”

“We can only hope.”

“I’m Lafontaine, by the way.” 

Or is he a guy? Mental note: Politely ask Lafontaine about it later. “Laura.” I shake their hand smoothly, earning a smile from them.

“So, what’s your plan?” Lafontaine faces me, making sure to listen to everything I have to say.

“I’m going to get as much information as I can from wherever I can find information and just go from there, I guess.” And now I’m not even convinced I’m going at this the right way. “I don’t know, the project is due on December and I just started, so…”

“I see.” They reply. “Want to know a secret?”

“Sure.”

“I’m obsessed with this weird kind of stuff.” Lafontaine’s smile almost makes me excited for this project. Almost. “Always have been.”

“I wish that was my case.” I reply in all honestly. “Maybe it’d make all of this easier.”

“Well… If you want, maybe I can help out.” Lafontaine offers.

“Really? Don’t you have your own college homework to worry about?”

“I do but, I love to help.”

“That’s nice of you.” It really is.

“Yeah, I’ll just give you my number.”

Their number? Oh, no.

“And just call me whenever you don’t get something.”

“Um, okay.” I awkwardly (as always) place a stand of hair behind my ear. “Sure.”

“Do you have somewhere to write it in?”

“Uh, yeah.” I give Lafontaine my pen and notebook because what else am I supposed to do? “Here.”

“Cool.” They write in their number sleekly across the page. “Here ya go. Just call me whenever you feel stuck.”

“I will.” Or maybe not.

“Cool, well, I’m going to meet a friend now. Good luck with the current research.” Lafontaine stands with their stuff in hand. “It was nice meeting you, Laura.”

“Same.” 

And they leave. 

Well that was… Interesting?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that this fic is about Hollstein.


	12. The Invitation

“Psst.” I think I hear someone whisper as my hand violently writes some notes down from the board. But my mind ignores it, figuring that the whisper wasn’t meant for me.

“Pssssst, Lauraaaa.” Yep, it’s definitely for me.

“Not now, Kirsch.” I whisper back, recognizing that voice anywhere by this point, not taking my eyes off of the board.

“Yessssss nowwww.” He replies quicker than desired.

Grunting, I finish copying the important notes and turn around to face him. “What?”

“Here.” His pale hand places in my palm a crumbled piece of paper.

After furrowing my eyebrows, I open the paper and find a note written on it. “Are you busy on Friday? :D”  
I think before responding, considering that my birthday is on Friday. I know they don’t know, since I’m never one to brag. Bu I don’t even know what I’m going to do yet. Maybe my dad will take me out to dinner. Or maybe he’ll get Carmilla to spend the day with me. Or maybe we’ll spend the day with other relatives. Or maybe we won’t do anything at all.   
It’s too early on to know.

So instead, I settle with a more vague response. “I don’t know, why?”

He smoothly receives the note back. 

The blonde boy replies quickly. “There’s a Zeta party on Friday and I was hoping you could go :D.”

After my eyes scan the note, I feel anxiety hit me like a truck. A fraternity party? Me? With a whole bunch of college boys? Maybe to some other girl the idea may seem astounding but to me…?

“Aren’t Zetas a group of guys?” I reply.

“Yeah, why?”

Before responding, I joggle down the newest notes on my notebook quickly. “Then why are you inviting a girl?”

“It’s an open party. Anyone can go. There are always more girls than guys anyway.”

I rip a piece of paper from my notebook to answer his latest response. “I’ll think about it.”

“It’d be cool if you could go ”

“I’ll think about it.” 

He doesn’t reply back. 

-A Little After Class-

“Well, that was a useless review.” Will says as we walk out of the building. “She just repeated everything she’s said these last couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, but, at least now we know what we have to study.” I reply.

“You could say that.”

“How are you going to study, though?” I ask curiously. “You literally didn’t copy anything down.”

“I don’t need to. I just remember.”

“Will’s right.” Kirsch agrees. “We’ve known each other for a while now and he barely has anything on his notebook. But he’s still an honor student.”

“What about you?” I nod at the taller guy. “You didn’t write anything, either.”

“Yeah…. About that…” The blonde boy smiles nervously before continuing his sentence. “Can I borrow your notebook?”

“My notebook?” Seriously?

“Yeah, like, your notes and stuff.”

“Why?”

“Because he didn’t copy anything so he’s copying off of you.” Will translates. “Classic Kirsch.”

“Kirsch!” My voice exclaims in disbelief. “I can’t lend you my notebook, the test is on Wednesday and it’s Monday. I need to study.”

“I know, but, I’ll give it back to you today.”

“What are you going to do with it, anyway?” I ask.

“Just photo copy it.” 

“Can’t you take pictures of it with your phone instead?”

“It’s hard to read from my phonee and I don’t want to copy it down.”

“You are unbelievable.” I declare, because it’s true.

“Pleaseeeee, Laura.” His eyes look down to me as he pouts. “I’ll give it to you today.”

“Kirsch, I’m going home soon.”

“I know anddd you live in the city, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, I have to go to my parent’s house today. All my underwear is dirty, I need them to wash it for me. Anyway, it’s also in the city.” Kirsch says casually.

“Why don’t you just do your own laundry?” I ask.

“Ha!” Will speaks up. “Last time Will tried to iron his shirt, our dorm caught on fire. We all decided it’s safer for someone else to do his work for him.”

“That’s…” Weird? “A nice story? But okay, are you saying you’re going to drive up to my house today to give me back my notebook?”

“Yep, that’s what I’m saying. Just send me your location and I’ll get there in a few hours.”

“Of course he is.” Will adds, sarcasm in his voice. “You almost had me fooled, bro. That’s a good plan.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask, facing Will.

“Shut up, bro.” Kirsch whispers a little bit too loudly. 

“What are you talking about?” I repeat my question. Why does he want to go to my house?

“Well, I’m guessing that our boy here just found an excuse to casually see your housemate again.” The shorter boy explains swiftly.

“Dudeee!” Kirsch reacts.

Of course that’s why he wants to go to my house. “She’s barely ever out of her room. And we haven’t even spoken in 5 days.” Not that I’m counting. “So if that’s the only reason you’re going, then you’ll be disappointed.”

“I mean, yeah, seeing Carmilla would be very cool, but I do need the notes. And I will give you back your notebook today. Zeta honor.” He places his hand on his chest and I know he means it.

“Fine.” I drag my backpack to my chest and open it, in hopes of finding my notebook. Once I have it in hand, I give it to him. “If I don’t have it by tonight, I’m going to hunt your Zeta ass.”

“No need for that yet.” He jokes. “Thanks a ton, send me your location as soon as you get home.”

“I will.”

“Well, I gotta go make my copies and my dirty laundry bag.” The tall boy explains. “So I will see you both later.”

“Yeah, my dad is probably there already.” After a while, we identified the perfect meeting place. Now it’s easier to leave. “So, later.”

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye.” Will and I wave at Kirsch.

“So, what are you going to do now?” I ask the dark haired Zeta.

“Accompany you to your vehicle.” He replies, hands in his backpack straps. “Then I’ll probably eat something.”

That’s weird. Will usually leaves as soon as Kirsch does.

“That’s nice.” I reply. 

“I guess. Food is comforting.”

“It is.” 

We stay in silence for a while as we walk towards my car. And yeah, I appreciate him walking with me, but I don’t think we’ve ever been alone. It’s almost unusual. I thought he didn’t even like me.

“So, did Kirsch tell you about the Zeta party?” Will interrupts my thoughts.

“Oh, yeah, he did.” I reply, shaking my head. “He told me I should go.”

“Are you going?”

“I don’t know… It’s not really my scene…”

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” He charmingly smiles and bumps my arm. “Our parties are always the best.”

“I bet.” I laugh nervously. 

“But I guess there’s a reason as to why I want you to go.” He confesses, brown eyes looking at me.

“And that reason is…?” I drag out.

“I want you to be my date.” He comes clean without worries.

Me? His date? 

I… I don’t even know what to say.

Does this mean he likes me? Is that why he’s so intimidated by me? I mean, maybe he’s just intimidated and not hateful towards me. But he’s never looked at me like THAT… Or has he? I don’t know!

This is so weird! 

No one has ever told me they liked me and now I’m being asked out on a date? Does this mean that if I say yes, I have to like him back? But I don’t SEE him that way… He’s just a friend… Or maybe he means a friendly date? Oh God, this is so-

“The fact that you’re taking quite a time to answer is a bit unsettling.” Will speaks up, his voice scaring me a bit.

“Sorry, I just, uh, that was a bit unexpected.” More like COMPLETELY unexpected.

“Listen, I’m not asking you to marry me.” He jokes, sensing my nerves. Why is he talking about marriage?! “It’s just that Zetas usually go with a date to the parties. And I think you’re a cute friend who will make me look good in front of the gang. If anything, it’s more of a friend date. Except that we’ll have to take pictures together for the Zeta photo album.”

“Um…” Well, that’s calming. Not to compromising, just the perfect amount of casual. “I guess that sounds nice.”

“Great!” He smiles. “Then it’s a date!”

Did I just get myself a date for my birthday? Oh man, this birthday is going to be a good one! 

“It is indeed!”

“Perfect.”

“But…”

“But?”

Once I see my dad’s car from a distance, I turn around to face Will. “I have to ask my dad first.”

“Don’t worry, tell him Kirsch and I will pick you up.” He determines. 

“No, it’s not the ride I’m worried about… It’s just that… He’s a bit overprotective.”

“Ah, you’re thinking he may not allow you to go?”

“Precisely.” Finally, someone who understands.

“Ask him today and text me tonight what he says. Kirsch and I can figure a way around it.”

I’m scared of asking what that means, so instead I nod. “Okay, sure. I’ll let you know.”

“Yeah, how overprotective can he be, anyway?”

-A Couple of Hours Later-

“You’re not going!” 

“Dad!”

“I said no!”

“You haven’t even let me explain!”

“Laura!”

“Ugh!” My feet skip around the kitchen, anxious to get him to see my way. “That’s so not fair!”

“It’s a college party! You’re a kid!”

“Dad, I’m turning 19 on Friday! I’m not a child!” I argue back.

My aspirated father rubs his eyes. “You’ve never even been to a party, Laura.”

“Well, it’s time I start enjoying myself.” I cross my arms, a few feet away from him, as I continue walking around the room. “And why not now?”

“You barely know anyone there!” My dad exclaims. “How do I know you’re going to be safe?!”

“Can’t you trust me?” 

I think I hear some footsteps behind me. I’m not sure, though.

“Laura, you know I trust you.”

And Carmilla coincidently walks past me to the fridge. I roll my eyes as I stop walking. “Then prove it.”

“Carmilla.” My dad nods towards the dark haired girl as she grabs a thermo from the fridge.

“What’s up?” She closes the fridge behind her and takes a sip.

“Do you think it’s safe for Laura to go to a party?”

She looks at me with her ‘I don’t care about anything’ eyes and then at my dad. “I think maybe I shouldn’t get involved.”

“Come on, give us an honest opinion. I may listen to you.” My dad suggests.

DID HE JUST PLACE MY FATE ON THE HANDS OF THE PERSON WHO DESPISES ME THE MOST RIGHT NOW?!

“Fine.” She shrugs. “I think that your cupcake here is capable enough of at least surviving. And besides, doesn’t she have all these friends now?”

Did she just help me out? And… Did I just sense a hint of jealousy coming from her?

“It’s a Zeta party. And the only Zetas she knows are Kirsch and Will and I bet that they won’t be with her the whole night.” My dad says.

“Actually…” This might either go smoothly or backfire horribly. But it’s worth a shot… “I’ll probably be with Will all night.”

Carmilla faces me again.

“I’m his date.” I let out.

“HA!” My dad’s shriek startles the both of us. “Like hell you’re going!”

“Dad… It’s not a date date. It’s a friendly date, he just wants someone to take pictures with.”

“Is that what they call sex now?” Carmilla whispers loud enough for my father to hear.

WHAT THE HELL!

At that, my dad grunts. “You’re not going.”

“Dad, come on. Will is going, Kirsch is going, and Danny is probably going to be there, too.” And of course, I don’t mention how there’s a predator lose in school and how they’re trying to keep the campus safe and now that’s the reason she’ll probably go. “I’ll be more than okay.”

And just on cue, we hear the doorbell ring.

I run up to the door and find Kirsch on the other side. 

“Hey!” I exclaim.

“Hey.” He wiggles the notebook around. “Told ya I’d bring it.”

And I get an idea. “Come inside.” I pull his arm and bring him to my kitchen, where my dad sits on a stool and Carmilla stares at the exchange. “Dad, you know Kirsch. Kirsch, you know Carmilla.”

His eyes widen as soon as he sees her. It makes me want to throw up.

“Hi, Kirsch.” My dad greets lazily. “What are you doing here?”

“I lent him my notes.” I mirror what Kirsch did at the door and wiggle my notebook. “And he came to bring them back.”

The blonde boy continues staring at Carmilla.

“Anyway…” I elbow him softly, making him react. “Kirsch, I’m trying to convince my dad to let me go to that Zeta party to be Will’s date. Help me out.”

“Ah, well, it’s the back to school party. I mean yeah, it’s in October, but we mix it up with Halloween and it works out perfectly.”

“Indeed it does.” I agree.

“Mr. Hollis, with all due respect, how do we even know they’re going to a party?” Carmilla butts in, angering me. “For all we know they could be planning a murder.”

“Seriously?!” I exclaim. “Didn’t you just say I was capable of surviving?”

“I guess I changed my mind.” She takes another sip from her thermo.

“Ugh!” I face my frustrated father again. “Dad, we’re going to a party! Right, Kirsch?”

“Yeah, totally.” He smiles. “There’s no need to worry Mr. Hollis, your daughter is in good hands. And Will is a cool bro.”

“With all due respect, Kirsch, I don’t really feel comfortable with my daughter going to a party with two, older college boys I barely know.” My dad stands from his stool, facing him directly. 

I stare at Kirsch, waiting for an answer from him, but instead he just glances from my father to what appears to be Carmilla’s spot. “What if Carmilla came along?”

“What?” She screeches.

“Yeah, what?” I repeat. “I don’t think she’s going to want to-”

“That’s not a bad idea, actually.” My dad agrees. “Carmilla has proven to be a relatively calm girl. I could trust her with Laura.”

“Dad, I don’t need babysitting.” I disagree. 

“It’s not babysitting, just companionship.”

“Yeah… And Laura is Will’s date… Soo… Carmilla could be mine.” Kirsch pitches in further.

For some unknown reason, my heart drops a thousand feet. She can’t be his date…

“It can just be a friend date.” Kirsch nervously pitches in when he receives no response. “But if you don’t want to, I can-”

“Fine.” She sets her thermo aside, in what seems to be defeat. She looks at me carefully, something she hasn’t done in a while, before finishing her response. “I’ll go. I’ll be your date and I’ll be there with Laura, Mr. Hollis.”

And suddenly, I’m not sure if I’m super excited or if I’m dreading Friday.


	13. The Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a part in which you maaay want to listen to the song Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap as you read. Or listen to it before hand, so the scene is easier to follow :) however you wish, lovely reader! Enjoy !

“It’s not too late to back out, you know?” I say as I sit carelessly on Carmilla’s bed, watching her as she applies some make-up to herself near the mirror.

“It’s great to know my company is always appreciated.” She sighs sarcastically as she puts the lid back on the eyeliner. The pale girl then reaches for the bag of make up on her desk.

“It’s not that I don’t want you there, you know I’m the one who mostly tries to find a way to hang out with you…”

She shrugs as she takes the red lipstick.

“I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“Says the girl who constantly finds a new way to make me feel uncomfortable.”

“Potato, potahto.” 

Carmilla puckers her lips as she slides the lipstick on her mouth. “Bleh.”

“What?”

“You need new make-up, cupcake.” She places the lid back on. “This is all either falling apart or barely sticking.”

“Well, it’s pretty old. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not the make-up type of girl.”

“I’ve noticed.” She tries a different lipstick and seems content with the new one.

My phone chimes, meaning a text has just been delivered.

“Is it them?” She asks.

“No…” I open the text. “It’s Danny.” I did as the tall, red head asked me to do; I told her about the Zeta party and she talked to the rest of the girls to assign shifts. And apparently, she’s going with Mel and she’s on her way already.

“The Fall chic?”

“Huh?”

“You know, the seasons society.”

“Oh, right.” I place my phone aside after responding. “It’s Summer Society, not Fall Society, but yeah. It’s her.”

“Ah, potato, potahto.” She mimics my previous statement, making me smile warmly.

As much as I hate the idea of my college best friend and my housemate going out on an unofficial date, I’m slightly happy with the way things worked out. We spent a while after the drink incident without acknowledging each other, but now we have this common goal that is today and we’ve somehow united. We’ve talked frequently since Monday afternoon and it’s great. I like listening to her talk. It’s always comforting.

“These dickheads are informal as hell.” After finishing her make-up, Carmilla sits on the bed next to me. The unused corset I own fits her curves perfectly, making it hard for me to look away. Not that I think she looks hot or anything, it just looks cool… “It’s 10 pass eight and they still haven’t even called.”

“They’ll be here.”

“Let’s see.”

“Like I said, you don’t need to do this…”

She sighs dramatically before facing me once more. Side note, her make-up looks… Amazing. “I already promised your father I was going to go. My word means something to me.”

“I’m sorry you got dragged into this…”

“What if instead of making a pity party of guilt, you thank me for helping you go out on your birthday?” 

What? “You- you know it’s my birthday today?”

“Well of course I do, both you and your dad made it pretty obvious. Especially after that gift he gave you.”

“Oh… I thought you didn’t know.”

“I don’t sing happy birthday songs if that’s what you’re expecting.”

“No…” I smile bashfully. “But you do give the most thoughtful gifts, helping me out with all of this and all.”

Clearing her throat, she replies, “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m doing this for your dad, so he can have some peace of mind.”

Right. “Okay. Fair enough.”

“Yeah.” 

I quickly check my phone, hoping to find a message from the boys, but I get nothing. 

“If they’re not here in 15 minutes, I’m calling them.” I declare.

“Whatever.” She throws herself on her pillow, hair messy. 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You already did, but sure.”

“You’re a few months younger than me, yet you always look older. Why is that?”

Carmilla uses her right arm to steadily sit up again, eyebrows creasing. “Why the random question?”

“Curiosity.”

“Wh-what are you implying?” She stutters.

“I’m asking how you got rid of the baby face.” I gesture towards her features, earning an understanding “Oh” from her part. 

“That baby face term is bullshit. I mean, sure, some faces look more innocent than others, but I personally believe that your attitudes can dictate your age.”

“Okay… And what kind of attitudes make me look older?”

“Where is this coming from?” She asks, eyebrows still furrowed.

“I just feel like such a kid next to all these college kids. I want to look older and wiser and not like a lame freshman. And I don’t know how to achieve that…”

“Are you asking me for advice?” She smiles amused, making my face burn.

“I thought questions were against your nature.”

“Touche.” She continues smiling as she stands. “First of all, you need to buy clothes that can both match your style and your age. Your style may include t-shirts and jeans, but if you wear some old pants and a teenage mutant turtles shirt, you’ll look like a kid. Instead, try to find a t-shirt that’s appealing to college students and some jeans that make your ass look better.”

“So you’re saying I should change my style?”

“And here we go again, jumping to conclusions.”

“Isn’t that what you meant?” I ask, staring at her as she speaks.

“No, I mean that your own style needs to mature with you.”

“I think I get it…”

“And unfortunately, if you want to look older, you’re going to have to use a tad of make-up and fix your hair every once in a while.”

“That sounds agitating.”

“Then don’t over- do it, muffin.” Carmilla reaches for the make-up bag once more and takes out what appears to be the eyeliner. She then opens the lid and motions towards me, taking me completely off guard.

“Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?!” My hands motion in front of me, urging her to stop moving.

“I’m trying to do you a favor.”

“Yeah but, I told you, I don’t do make-up. I don’t even know how to.” 

She places the lid back on as she stares at me diligently. “Fine. But you should know that even if your outfit looks surprisingly college themed, your face looks like it just got out of your middle school graduation.”

Sighing, I give in. How bad could it be, anyway? “Ugh, fine, fine.” I cross my arms as I stare back. “I’ll let you do it.”

“Now I’m not sure if I want to do it.” She taunts.

“Carmillaaaaaa…” I say, my voice desperate. “The guys will be here any minute.”

“Fine.” She slowly gets close to me again, eying me carefully. “Never mind, let’s start with the foundation.” Carmilla then takes the bag from the desk and throws it next to me. Once by my side, she takes a bottle of what I assume is foundation and puts some of it in her hands. “You don’t have one of those spreading things so I’m going to have to apply it this way.”

I nod as I watch her rub her hands together.

Once satisfied with her results, she gets closer to me again and touches my face roughly. She seems to try to make sure that my skin absorbs as much as it can from her touch, rubbing it all over. After what feels like a minute of discomfort, she takes a paper towel and cleans her hands.

“The foundation looks good on you.” She says as she observes me from a distance. “So I’ll skip the rest of your cheeks and go straight to the eyes and lips. Those are your best features, anyway.”

Did… Did she… What?... My… My lips… And my eyes… But my lips… are my best… What?

Carmilla carefully places the same lipstick she used, some mascara, and the eyeliner next to me, observing everything closely. “Okay, now I’m going to need you to relax.”

“Okay…” I slug a bit, attempting to relax my shoulders.

“Now lean back a bit and place your hands behind you, so they can hold your weight.” 

I do as I’m told, and delicately lean my body back.

“Don’t get all freaked out.” She announces.

“Why would I get-”

It happens so fast, that even my breath hitches. My eyes immediately widen once she gets close beyond measure, entering my personal space. I think I see her place both legs beside my hips, straddling completely, but I don’t feel it. All I feel is my heart pounding and my breath uneven and my goose bumps getting goose bumps and my heart beating louder and I just…

“I told you to relax.” She whispers, her face slightly above mine. 

My head nods anxiously on its own, my mind still trying to wrap itself around the situation.

“You’re not breathing, cupcake.” Crap, she noticed. “Just breathe.”

I take a few small breathes, hoping my breath smells as nice as hers.

“Okay, I’m starting with your eyes.” She communicates with me.

I just nod fiercely.

“Relax them, unless you want me to stab your eye.”

I take another deep breath, the idea freaking me out for the right reasons.

Carmilla then pulls the skin under my left eye downwards. After a few seconds, she runs the eyeliner up and down my lower eyelid. Later, she does the same with my right eye.

Just breathe, Laura. It’s just Carmilla. It’s not like she’s someone you like. It’s just Carmilla, your mean housemate. Your mean, pretty, mysterious, smart, captivating…

“Don’t close your eyes, dimwit.” 

Her voice and breath make me shimmer again, nerves on high.

After she’s done with the eyeliner, she takes the mascara (never pulling away) and opens it, making sure it’s ready for her to apply.

“Look up to the ceiling and widen your eyes even more.”

Following her orders, I realize that the white ceiling seems to be pretty calming. She then does her job in each eye, until satisfied with the results.

What follows now is the lipstick.

And you’d think it’s the easiest part because she doesn’t have to get too near my face to put it on, but boy, are we wrong.

After running the lipstick, she touches my lips. SHE TOUCHES MY LIPS! 

BREATHING IS NO LONGER A THING.

“What?” She asks, after I seem to jump.

“Nothing.” I answer a little too quickly. “Sorry.”

“Okay… Weirdo…” 

After relaxing again, she continues to spread the lipstick on my lips with her fingertip. 

At this point, it wouldn’t surprise me if I passed out.

Unfortunately, the make-up routine is too short for my liking, and before I know it, she’s getting off me.

“Let me see how it looks from a distance.” She says as she stands.

I nod again. Nodding is fine, right?

My pale housemate takes her distance to eye me carefully, sight never leaving my face. I notice the way her eyes widen a bit and how she stares at me rigorously. Crap, is it that bad?

“Does it look good?” I ask nervously.

“It looks decent.” She looks away, clearing her throat. “You know, for a freshman.”

Following her lead, I walk up to the mirror and damn… I look good. Who knew so little make up could be so effective!

“Wow, I love it!” I say. “My eyes look bigger!”

I see her from the mirror, putting everything back in the bag.

“Thanks, Carm!” I turn around to face her, but her sudden shoulder “tension” grabs my attention. “What?”

“What?” She faces me, her gestures short.

“You don’t like the nickname?”

“What nickname?”

“Carm… I just called you that.”

“I didn’t notice.” She shrugs, her eyes distant. “Don’t care what you call me.”

“Okay then.”

The moment is cut short by my ringtone. I run up to my phone, hoping it’s the guys. My face smiles with relieve once I see Kirsch’s name on my screen.

“Hey!” I answer. 

“Hi, sorry we were late. But we just got here. What do we do?” Kirsch replies.

“We’ll be right down.” After hanging up, my body faces Carmilla. “They’re here.”

She sighs dramatically once more. I’m starting to think she does it for fun. “Let’s get this show on the road, then.”

-42 Minutes Later-

The car ride wasn’t too uneventful. Kirsch kept trying to get Carmilla’s attention and Will kept kindly ignoring me, so I think those are sort of events. Sort of. My favorite part was when Carmilla kept sassing the tall blonde, making me giggle in the process. And- No, I take it back. My favorite part was when she’d sass him and talk to me instead. It gave me the sort of “you’re the only person I like in this car” vibe and it was… nice. Very nice, actually.

But now we’re at the party and judging by the amount of people in it, I can think that it’s going to be somewhat hard to interact with her casually again. 

To say the Zeta frat house is spacey is an understatement. This place is BEYOND huge! It’s definitely bigger than my house.

“Why aren’t all of your rooms in here?” I yell at Kirsch, once we step inside, music blasting from the speakers.

“It’s more expensive, plus there aren’t any babes around here.” He replies casually.

“Ah.” I retort.

“Come on!” Will grabs my hand. “Hold Carmilla’s hand and tell her to hold Kirsch’s! We’re walking together!”

As an instinct, you may think that holding my date’s hand would make me smile or at least give me butterflies in the stomach. But oddly… I don’t feel any of that, just a sense of security, like I won’t get lost in the crowd.

But when I turn around and tell Carmilla Will’s plan… And she nods as she takes my hand… I get all… irjeoicnreucvnre

I know, I know, that’s not a word. But that’s how I feel. I mean, it’s not as bad as a while ago when she was straddling me, but it’s still there. This girl makes me too nervous for my liking.

And just like with the make-up sesh, the moment is cut short and the four of us find a spot that’s not too crowded and where the music isn’t exploding our ear drums.

“Welcome to a Zeta party, sunshine.” Will gestures. 

“Wow, this is filled up.” I say. “You Zetas are pretty popular.”

“Filled up?” Kirsch scoffs. “It’s still pretty empty. Usually, there’s never space to move.”

“I guess it’s too early for that shit.” Will counters back.

“Probably.” Kirsch responds.

Maybe I didn’t think this through. Maybe parties aren’t really my thing… I don’t… Do well in crowded places. I thought it was going to be a bit more peaceful but this is getting crazier than I anticipated.

“Laura!” Will snaps me back to reality. “Let’s go over there, I need to say hello to a few people. After that, we can take the pictures and just do whatever we want.”

And I also forgot that I’m not good at socializing either. Much less in crowded places.

“It’s okay.” I shake my head. “If you want you can say your hellos and we’ll meet up for the pictures after you’re done.”

“Come on, Laura. Let me show you off…” Will insists, placing a hand on my waist.

I politely push it aside as I face somewhere else, finding Carmilla’s curious eyes in the process. Kirsch seems to be talking to her but she’s not paying attention (as usual). 

“You can do that later, let me get used to all of this first.” My hand motions to everywhere around us, making sure he understands.

“Fine.” He steps away, eyebrows raised. “Kirsch!”

The taller Zeta looks towards the shorter Zeta once he hears his name. “What’s up, bro?”

“I’m greeting our bros before we take the pictures and start the fun, care to join?”

“Sure!” Kirsch looks at a disinterested Carmilla. “Wanna come?”

My pale housemate looks at me before answering. “Are you accompanying your pretty date?” 

When Kirsch doesn’t answer, I realize she’s talking to me.

“No.” Will answers for me, crossing his arms. “She’s staying here.”

“Then no, Kirsch, I do not want to come.” She faces him once more.

“Aw.” The blonde boy pouts. “Okay, then. Are you both staying here together?”

“Yeah.” She flips her hair in determination. “We will.”

Really? Wow, cool.

“Fine by me.” Will smiles. “Kirsch?”

And they walk to the big crowd on the other side of the room.

“Why did you stay?” I had to ask.

“I told you, I’m watching out for you like your father asked.”

“And I told you I don’t need a babysitter who’s younger than me. Or a babysitter, period.”

“I’m not babysitting you.” She replies, crossing her arms like Will did. “It’s the girl system. We stick together, to make sure no harm comes our way.” She casually leans against the wall behind us.

Glancing around, I notice that our spot is starting to get full already. “Really?” My voice rises to make sure she can hear me. “I did not pin you for a buddy system kind of girl.”

“I’m full of surprises.” The dark-haired girl shrugs.

We stay in silence, eying everybody as they dance to some electronic song I haven’t heard of before. The lights seem to go perfectly with the rhythm, which seems to excite everyone even more. 

It’s moments like these that make me feel like an outcast, like someone who never belongs with the cool kids. While everyone seems to know when the beat is going to drop, I wonder why the beat HAS to drop like a gazillion times in just one set. Don’t get me wrong, dubstep or however they call it is pretty cool, it seems so electrifying and arousing. If I knew how to properly dance to it, I’d probably be out there having a great time.

But there’s something about lyrics. Something about a song that leaves you thinking about life. Sure, the type of music that inspires you to live life to the fullest is great. But what about the songs that make you stop and wonder if you’re living the right way? Those are so underrated and it makes me sad. 

But no one here seems to get it. And judging by Carmilla’s stiffness, maybe she thinks the same way. I should ask her about it someday. 

“Having fun?” I speak up.

And just on cue, some guys start having a chug contest a few feet away, their echoes reaching towards us.

She glances at them, and after her signature eye roll, she replies with a “So much fun”. 

Giggling, I reply. “I’m still sorry you had to come.”

“Eh, could be worse.” She glimpses around once more. “It could be a high school party.”

And that made me laugh. “That’s sadly true.”

There are moments in your life in which magical, random phenomena occur. And they happen at the most unexpected times, in the most unexpected places. And the thing about phenomena like these is that they become these unforgettable moments that we’ll cherish for the rest of our lives.

And the second they start playing Sweet Disposition instead of that techno stuff, I know that this is one of those moments. My eyes widen, my heart starts beating, my face breaks into a smile, and I can’t hold back that shriek that comes from the back of my throat.

“That’s one of my favorite songs!” I exclaim, Carmilla eying me, her face also breaking into a smile.

“Wowww.” A smiling Carmilla makes this moment even more magical. “They’re playing a good song.”

“Dance with me!” I take her arm, my body having a mind of its own.

“What? No!?” She protests, smile still intact. 

“Please?” The dance floor seems to be clearing up by our side. This is perfect!

“No!”

“Please?”

‘Ohhhh, reckleeeeeess abandon’ The song continues playing.

“No!”

“Come on!” I get closer, our smiles contagious. “Do this with me!” 

“Ugh! Fine!”

My smile widens, as I pull her to the dance floor, all fear of being laughed at vanishing.

She lets herself get pulled, both of us near the middle of our area. 

A laugh erupts from my throat as I do a twirl, no reason behind it whatsoever. It just felt really good to do.

“A moment of love. A dream. A laugh. A kiss. A cry.” I sing along, from the top of my lungs, as so do a few people around us. “Our rights. Our wrongs. A moment of love! A dream! A laugh!” 

Carmilla rocks her body from side to side, smirking wider than before, watching me carefully.

“Come on!” I say once I notice how she’s not singing. “I know you know it!”

She shakes her head in denial as she continues rocking.

“Come on!” I jump towards her, taking her arms again. “Sing! Dance!” I continue jumping up and down, completely out of beat, urging her to do the same, until eventually she does. I don't let go of her. And I swear I hear her laughing.

I’ve never seen her so carefree, it’s almost like a birthday miracle.

Once the chorus is over, we stop jumping, and I continue singing the next part. “Soooongs of deeesperatioooon…” I still don’t let go of her arms, rocking us from side to side. “IIIIIII plaaayed theem…” She pushes me aside, and to my surprise, she twirls me around in one smooth motion. “Fooor youuuuuu.” 

Once I’m facing her again, the first thing I find are her eyes. And… Her eyes are shinning again. Brighter than the Sun, brighter than any star. I’ve never seen them like this, they look so alive. She looks so alive! If my adrenaline wasn’t so out of control right now, I’d probably tear up from accomplishment. 

“A moment of love!” And we’re jumping like children on our parent’s bed again. “A dream! A laugh! A kiss! A cry!” 

And what happens next surprises me beyond measure. Because Carmilla is as uptight and as rebellious as she wants sometimes. When you ask her to do something, she doesn’t do it. She always does what she chooses, what she likes. But when I see her open her mouth wide, and hear lyrics coming out of her mouth… Damn, my night is made.

“A moment of love!” We sing together, and even if I can barely hear us over the music, we sound great together. “A dream! A laugh! A moment of love!” And now we’re jumping in circles, our feet also harmonious.

I don’t even bother to look at anyone around us; I bet they think we’re weird. But I couldn’t care less. Next to her, I don’t care what they think.

“Won’t stop ‘til it’s oveeeer!” We continue singing, even if we start jumping in place again and let go of our arms to hop freely. “Won’t stop to surrendeeeer!”

And as quickly as the moment came, the song is cut short, and a popular pop song starts playing. And of course, the dance floor fills up again.

“Back to our spot?” I ask her, both of us still giggly, panting.

“Why not?” She asks, her smile turning into a smirk again. 

But before we leave, I feel someone pull at my arm, and when I turn around, I find Danny.

“Hey!” I greet her.

“Hey!” She exclaims back.

“Let’s go over there!” 

We head together towards Carmilla, who is in our old spot, as she looks at us.

“Danny…” I start once we’re inches away. “This Is Carmilla. Carmilla, this is Danny.”

“Nice to meet you.” Danny smiles down at Carmilla.

The now-shorter girl looks up, and smiles, lips tight. She doesn’t respond.

“Where’s Mel?” I ask.

“Over there.” She nods towards our right and I spot the dark skinned Summer Society member….

… Talking to Elsie?

“What the…?”

“What?” Danny notices my sudden change.

“Do you know her?”

“Who?” She asks.

“The blonde.”

“I met her like a week ago. I think her name is Ellie? She wants to join our Society, why?”

“Wait…” Carmilla finally speaks up. “Is that- Is that the girl from the mall?”

“What?” I face her, eyebrows creasing. “You remember her?”

“Well, you freaked out. And I haven’t really seen a lot of people lately, dumbass.” And she’s all defensive again.

“Who is she then?” Danny asks.

“This girl who used to make fun of me in high school.” I place my hair behind my ear, eying the dancing crowd on the dance floor. “It’s no big deal.”

“Aw, I’m sorry…” A sympathetic Danny says. “But hey, don’t worry. I bet she’s matured now. College changes things.”

“Yeah, I think she did. We haven’t even spoken in a long time.”

“And that’s probably a good thing.” Danny argues.

After ten more minutes, Danny leaves and the boys head towards us, saying its picture time. 

And naturally, they take us outside, where the rest of the Zetas and their dates await. Following our “placement”, we take a few nice pictures and another few crazy ones. And after everyone seems to be content with the results, we all head back inside, where the party is now completely full. 

My attempts and excuses of staying outside quickly turn awry when our dates pull us towards the mess of people, deciding it’s time for all of us to have fun. Will and I dance for a while (or Will dances as I move my body awkwardly) while Kirsch and Carmilla stare from the sides, she rejecting every invitation she gets from him.

Even if sometimes I felt like my breath was caught in my lungs, I’d play it cool because I came here to have fun, not to ruin anyone’s night with my embarrassing feelings.

Sadly, after the eleventh song, I declare it’s too much and ask Will for a break, and he reluctantly agrees, claiming he’s in the need of a punch anyway.

So I head towards Kirsch and Carmilla, who could not be any tenser than what they are right now.

“Where’s Will?” Kirsch yells at me, music blasting.

“Punch.” I respond.

Kirsch nods in understanding, the rest of us staying silent.

A while later, Will returns with a punch in hand and some beer in the other. “Here.” He gives the bottle to Kirsch. “Thought you might want some.”

“Thanks, bro!” The taller boy takes a sip.

The Zetas then engage in a conversation we cannot overhear because of the noise, so we stay awkwardly by their side.

“Carmilla!” Will starts. “Go dance with Kirsch!”

“No.” She deadpans.

“Come onn, you owe him that.” He screams.

“No.” She repeats, voice stiff.

“Don’t be such a bitch!” 

“Watch it.” Carmilla eyes him, glare deadly.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t feel like it.”

“Please, Carmilla?” The sweet Kirsch tries. “Just one dance? I won’t bother you again about it.”

“No.” 

As much as I hate the idea of Kirsch dancing with Carmilla, I feel bad for the guy. He’s been nothing but nice to her. And yeah, I’m a feminist, no means no, but maybe she’s just being mean for fun. And I hated when she would do that to me. “Carm, one dance. It won’t be that bad.”

She looks at me attentively, analyzing my words. Then, she speaks up again. “One minute.” She looks at Kirsch. “I’ll dance with you for one minute.”

“Sweet.” He smiles like an excited schoolboy and tries to take her hand, putting the beer aside.

Carmilla obviously pulls it back.

But they manage to get on the dance floor and Kirsch seems to be enjoying himself.

“Hey!” Will says to me. “Wanna go somewhere else? Somewhere less crowded?”

“Sure.” That WOULD be nice. “Let’s go.”

He once again takes my hand in his own, leading me away. 

Together we head up the stairs and go to the third floor. The house just looks better and better every minute. If I were a guy, I’d definitely kill to be a Zeta.

Once we’re at the top floor, he takes me through this big door unto the balcony. 

And this is probably the coolest balcony I have ever seen!

The view is amazing, it’s spacey, the leather couches look comfortable, there’s a mini fridge beside them, and they even have a closet! I definitely want to be a Zeta now.

“Wow…” I start, walking in front of Will towards the rails. “The campus looks huge from here!”

“Indeed it does.” 

“And look at the Moon!This is amazing.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Will walks over to the rail, standing next to me. “This is my favorite spot in all campus.”

“I can see why.” Looking downward, I see the guests entering and leaving the party. “Wow.”

“Are you having fun tonight?”

“Surprisingly, I am.” I admit. “It’s a bit too crowded for my liking, but it’s still fun.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“It is.”

Even the stars look great from up here.

“Wanna know a secret?” He asks, his tone changing.

“Sure.”

“I like to bring… special girls up here.”

What? “What?” I face him, blocking out the view.

“You’re a special girl, Laura.”

I now notice how close he decided to stand next to me.

“Oh.” Feeling my cheeks get hot, I face the people again. “Thanks.”

“Don’t look away.” He inquires, voice firm.

I look up and find his face even closer to mine.

This is it, Laura. Your first kiss! A cute, older guy wants to kiss you! And sure, maybe you always envisioned your first kiss to be with someone you’re falling in love with but this is also good! No one is going to kiss you anytime soon! 

In fact, Laura, no one probably likes you.

But he seems to.

So, just relax. 

Will gets closer and closer to my face, sort of like Carmilla did earlier. But surprisingly, I’m not too nervous. I’m mostly nervous of being a bad kisser.

Why am I not as nervous as I was with Carmilla?

WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT CARMILLA?!

And just as he’s about to brush his lips against mine, I hear noise behind me.

“Surprise!” A voice says. A familiar voice. A voice that makes my insides curl. “Haha! Gotcha!” 

My eyes try to find Will’s, but they’re looking at someone else, his face breaking into a smile.

No…

“Boy, does this feel good.” I look at Elsie, who’s giddy and holding a camera in hand, eyes as dark as ever. “It’s been months since I got a good laugh out of you, babe.” The closet doors are wide open. Was she hiding in there?

“Will…” This can’t be happening… Not again…

“Haha, I didn’t wanna do it, okay?” He finally faces me, chuckling. That bastard. “She made me!”

“Well, I just thought it could be a good birthday gift from me.” She says, still holding up the camera. 

I feel my eyes watering. Not all of this again… This can’t be happening…. No….

“Wait, it was her birthday?” He exclaims, humorous. He obviously finds this so fucking hilarious. “Oh, Elsie, that’s not nice. I didn’t know that.”

“It’s still funny.” She concludes.

I feel lightheaded. Shit, I feel lightheaded. Shit, not again. Shit, shit, shit…

“Aww, she’s crying.” Elsie gets closer, pointing her camera at my face. “The witle baby still cries.”

That’s it. I can’t take this anymore. 

I run off from the balcony to the door that connects this place with the party, steps weak. I think I feel a tear rolling down my cheek, I’m not sure though. Maybe it’s sweat. Or I don’t know.

My fingers clumsily try to open the door, managing to do so on the third try, laughter behind me. But once I do open the door, what surprises me is that I find Carmilla walking towards it. What is she doing here? My vision blurries at her sight, water dripping from my face.

“Laura?” She asks, looking behind me. “What’s wrong?”

I try to speak, I do, but I can’t. My chest hurts. My brain is fucked up. My thoughts aren’t getting to my mouth. And I want to scream out, Will is a jerk! or I just want to go home!, but I can’t. I fucking can’t.

So instead, I run pass her, headed for the stairs.

“Laura!” She screams after me. “Laura!”

But I run. And run. And run. And bump into a few people along the way, but I don’t care. No one can see me cry again. No one.

“Laura!” I think I hear Carmilla say.

But I continue running to the main floor, where the stairs are filled with people and Kirsch is waiting in the bottom. But I run past them, pushing them all aside. I need some air. I need air. I need to get away from all that music, I can’t think!

“Laura!” Kirsch screams as soon as he sees me. “Over here!” But I run past him, too. And it’s rude, I know. I’ll apologize later and tell him his friend is a jerk.

… Unless he already knows.

God, he’s in on this.

I run faster.

Once I’m outside in the lawn, the space relatively free, I let out that sob I was holding in all the way down.

“Dammit, Laura!” I scream at myself. “Don’t cry!”

“Laura!” I hear Kirsch say from a distance.

Crap!!! Why can’t they leave me alone?!?

I try to wipe off my tears as quickly as I can, only to end up with my fingers black. What the hell is that?!

“Laura…” He says, once close enough to me. “Are you crying?”

“Nope.” My face shows him the fakest smile one can make. “What makes you say that?”

“Your make-up is smeared.”

Shit, that’s the black stuff.

“Right, um.” Rubbing my eyes with my wrist, I giggle. “I just-”

“Laura!” And there’s Carmilla. “What the fuck?!” She pushes Kirsch aside, attempting to stand in front of me. “You could have killed yourself on your little rampage!” 

“Sorry.” I try to laugh, failing epically. “I just, I feel a bit…” Shit don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. “Tired.”

The fact that another sob erupted from my throat without any warning signs proves how much of a fucking liar I am.

“Where’s Will?” Carmilla asks, her voice deeper.

“Um, I don’t-I don’t know.” And I am now gasping for air, the tears drowning me.

Fuck, STOP IT LAURA!

“I saw him on the balcony.” She says. “Where you came running from.”

“Oh.” 

“Did he do something to you?” Kirsch delicately asks.

What a fucking hypocrite. “Oh, like you don’t know!”

“What?” The blonde asks, seeming genuinely confused. But he’s lying. I know he is! “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about all of this, Kirsch!” My voice echoes around the lawn, cracking a long the way. “This was all a fucking joke to both of you! You just wanted to get a good laugh!”

“What are you-”

“Don’t fucking play dumb with me, Kirsch!”

“Laura…” Carmilla warns, her voice uneasy. “What the hell happened?”

“I’m going to tell you what happened.” I’ve never been this angry in my entire life. My chest is beating so fast, my head hurts like hell, I feel even more lightheaded, I’m shaking like a Chihuahua… These fucking assholes I just, Ugh! “Will went out on a pretend date with me. Elsie asked him to do that as a joke and Kirsch here.” I point towards him. 

“Obviously knew all about it. Because if Will went out with me, he’d go out with you!”

“Laura, that’s not-”

I interrupt him. “You are both dicks, both of you! I never want to see any of you a-”

“Laura!” I turn around, eyes still bloodshot, and find Danny running my way. 

“What?” I ask, voice scratchy from the yelling and crying.

“Wait, what’s-”

I interrupt before she even asks. “What happened?”

“It’s the blonde girl, your high school bully.”

“What about her?” I ask, the thought of her making me want to vomit.

“She’s gone.”

“What?”

“She’s gone, Laura!”

“How do you-”

“She called Mel and Mel heard her screams from the other line. And now we can’t… We can’t find her anywhere.”

“She was in the balcony.” What the hell is happening?

“She was in there, too?” Carmilla asks.

“Yeah, uh.” I sniff, my anger now turning into panic. “She was there a few minutes ago with Will.”

“Then let’s go!” Danny stars sprinting back to the frat house.

As she walkie talkies the information to Mel, the three of us run behind her, my mind still gone and my feet still wobbly. We fight our way through, until we reach the top, opening the door to her location.

But… There’s no one there.

“She was in here less than five minutes ago.” I say, sniffling. “And so was Will.”

“Then where did they go?” Kirsch asks.

And then I see it. “Guys…” I point towards our left, following two objects on the floor. I kneel down, and find that one is a cell phone I have never seen before.

I sense my company’s presence behind me.

And the other… Is the camera Elsie used to record me with.

“Is that her phone?” Danny asks.

“I don’t know…” I reply in all honesty. “But…”

“But what?” Carmilla asks, watching from afar.

“That is her camera…”

“Why would she leave her stuff behind?” Kirsch wonders.

What the hell is going on? “She wouldn’t.” I swallow hard, wiping the remaining tears. 

And Danny finishes the thought I was too afraid to even allow in my head. “Unless she was forced to leave it all behind….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is where the REAL adventure begins.


	14. The Birthday, Part 2

“You’re saying she was in here with you?” The stern policeman asks, taking notes.

“Yes.” I sniffle, my eyes still puffy from the crying.

“And then you left the room…”

“Yeah.”

“And when you came back, she was gone?” He concludes.

“Yeah.”

My eyes wander from the policeman as another officer secures the balcony with some yellow, caution tape. Other officers come and go around us, our presence on the crime scene. I see Danny getting interviewed by another detective, as some people take pictures of Elsie’s belongings on the floor.

“What were you doing up here?” He asks, not bothering to look at me.

That’s a very good question. What WAS I doing up here? Did I seriously let a GUY take me UPSTAIRS and not question what his intentions were?! Wow, that was a very unwise decision, now that I think about it.

“M’am?” He pressures, eyes finally on me.

“Huh?” 

“What were you doing up here?” He repeats.

“I just…” How can I make all of what happened sound a bit less humiliating? “I just came up here… To… Get some fresh air…”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Um… Yeah…”

“You don’t sound so sure.” His eyebrow rises, making me gulp nervously.

That sounded a bit… incriminating. “Well, I am.”

“Miss, withdrawing information from a police officer is a crime.”

“I… I didn’t do anything wrong.” Cause I didn’t.

“If you were smoking some pot you can tell us. Maybe that Elsie girl was high enough to jump out of here, no pun intended.”

“We weren’t smoking pot… Or anything…” My eyes start to water, his tone scary. I don’t need this right now, I wasn’t even the one who called the cops…

“Drinking, then?”

“N-No…” I stutter. What even are all these questions?

“Then what were you doing up here?”

And just when I’m about to break into tears again, I feel someone behind me. “Excuse me, officer?”

“Yes?” He acknowledges the person.

“Hello.”

Glancing up, I find a smiling Carmilla, extending her hand towards the officer. 

“I’m Carmilla Karnstein, I just spoke with one of your buddies.” She introduces herself smoothly as he shakes her hand.

“Yes, how may I help you?” He seems attentive.

“I noticed how you’re interrogating my friend here.”

Any sense of fear or pain quickly fades away once she calls me her friend. I never would have imagined how rewarding it would feel. 

“And how you’re making her anxious…” Carmilla continues.

“With all due respect, it’s my job to ask questions.” He replies firmly.

What the hell is she doing? “Carmilla…”

“And with all due respect, I’m a minor. And so is Laura here.”

At that, he grunts uncomfortably. “She told me she was over 18.”

“Technically, today IS her 18th birthday. But she was born after 11 at night. And if I’m not mistaken, it’s 10:30. Meaning, that the person in front of you is still a minor. Which means that you cannot interrogate her without a present adult.” 

What the…

“Miss, a girl has disappeared and your friend here has been one of the last two people who’ve seen her.”

My hands start shaking involuntarily. Do they… Do they think I had something to do with her disappearance?

“And I witnessed as she and the other boy with her left the room, leaving the blonde behind. I told my story to your buddy over there, you can ask him.” Her voice seems so smooth and calm, it’s hard to believe she’s challenging a figure of authority.

The officer uncomfortably shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “I’m insisting for her to tell me what they were doing since I feel like she’s withdrawing information.”

“Which brings us back to the whole ‘she’s still a minor’ argument.”

The policeman sighs quickly before facing me again, my hands still trembling. “I will contact you in a few days, Laura Hollis.”

I nod, remembering that anything I say could be held against me.

Carmilla watches the older man leave attentively, and once he’s out of sight, her eyes darken like they used to, making me shiver. She takes my hand out of impulse, dragging me away from the balcony.

“I’m turning 19 today, thank you very much.” I try to correct her as we walk away.

“Come on.” She says as she pulls me like a ragdoll, ignoring my comment. “We’re leaving.”

“What?” 

“I’m calling a cab.”

“Carmilla…”

“What?”

“We can’t leave yet…”

“Why? I think we very well can.”

“I can’t just leave like that.” 

The pale girls continues leading the way, my body unable to fight off her strength, probably because I have no desire to fight.

“Well, we have to.”

“Why?”

“You ask a lot of stupid questions.”

“Carm…”

The nickname works like a charm again, making her stop her sudden movements. She finally lets go of my numb arm and faces me, agitation in her eyes. “What’s the problem?”

“I need to talk to Danny before I leave…”

Carmilla licks her lips swiftly as she gets closer, her voice turning into a whisper. “Laura, a girl who is somehow related to you just went missing.”She eyes the officers who are walking past us in the hallway. “Do you know how suspicious that makes you look?”

“But I didn’t do anything…”

“But you have a motive, sweetheart. You made sure all of your friends knew she bullied you, if the police found out about that, you’d be suspect number one.”

“Wouldn’t leaving be more suspicious?” I wonder as I sniffle again, my mind still foggy from all the current events. “If I stay here, then it proves I have nothing to hide.”

“God, you’re so naïve.”

“I’m not, I just…”

“Laura.” I hear Danny’s voice behind me, and I find a nervous giant walking towards me.

“Hey… Everything alright?”

“We’re throwing a search party right now.” She informs us, trying to steady her voice as much as possible, in a whisper. “Mel and some other summer society members are waiting downstairs. We’re searching near the perimeter in groups. Want to join?”

“Of course!” I say in a heartbeat, earning a grunt from my housemate.

“Laura, we need to go. We can’t play Scooby-Doo with some inexperienced, wannabe superheroes when the police are already involved.”

Danny seems to open her mouth to speak, but I interrupt her before she can voice her opinion. “I’m not going back home like a coward, I need to help. I know Elsie better than most people here, maybe I could find her.”

“That’s a stupid reason.” The pale girl concludes. 

“Can we go downstairs to finish this conversation?” Danny asks, a bit jumpy. “This may not be the best spot to do so.”

“There IS no conversation to finish, Xena.”Carmilla faces me. “We’re leaving.” She grabs my arm again, pulling me downstairs. 

“Carmilla, we don’t even have a ride…”

“I can get you two home.” Danny says behind us, catching up with Carmilla. “It’s not a problem at all… But it’d be after the search party.”

“We’re leaving now.” The girl with cute, dark hair continues leading the way, my body too numb to stop her.

“Carmilla…”

Once we’re on the main floor, I notice how the once-filled with teenagers frat house is currently infested by men in uniform or by people in suits. I even spot the Dean from a distance.

And just on cue, Carmilla starts waling faster, until we’re finally outside.

“Carmilla!” I try again, this time grabbing her attention.

“What?!” She turns around, aspiration in her voice, letting go of me.

Danny observes our interaction carefully.

“I’m not going anywhere!”

“If you don’t come with me, then I’m calling your dad.”

“Are you serious?” I scoff. She did NOT just say that! “You’re going to tell on me?”

“I’m sure he’ll love to hear about how your former bully went missing a few minutes after she messed with YOU.” 

“Maybe I should…” Danny speaks up. “Go over there, with the group…”

“He’ll never let me go out again!” I ignore Danny. I think she really does leave.

“Then maybe it’s for the best, considering you have no sense of protection whatsoever.”

“I had no idea Will was going to do that to me!”

“Obviously.” Carmilla crosses her arms sarcastically, her smirk angry.

Rolling my eyes, I move my head to the side, and spot from a distance Danny and some other girls. 

It takes me a while to notice how there’s barely anyone outside either; probably because the crowd was evacuated after the police came along. 

Carmilla sighs after I don’t respond to her witty remark. “Look, don’t be a suicidal idiot. You people are not going to find her. And by the way you describe her, she’s probably playing a prank on all of us and she’s laughing on the side.”

“I don’t think so…”

“Let it go, creampuff. You’re not a hero.”

She doesn’t get it. She doesn’t get what’s going on. All she sees is that I may be a suspect in all of this, but she doesn’t understand that someone is missing… And… I’m one of the last people who saw her… 

“Every 20 years, some girls disappear from campus…” I start explain, voice shaky again. “And then they come back and leave again…”

Carmilla slowly uncrosses her arms, eying me vigilantly. 

“That’s the reason why Danny’s here… The summer society is trying to catch this person or something… They were taking shifts to make sure the campus is safe for girls…” 

“Who told you all of this?” She asks.

“The Summer Society members…”

Carmilla scoffs, humor in her tone. “I think that you just surpassed naïve-ism and you’re now a baby in a 19 year olds body.”

“It’s true!”

“How do you know that?”

“Because… because….”

“Because?”

“Ugh!” Pushing my hair back, I grunt even louder. “It has to be true! They wouldn’t lie about it.”

“And what if it’s not?! Or worse, what if it is?! What if your ‘best friend’ really did get kidnapped by that weird person who accidently lets their prisoners escape, and then takes them back after they probably outed them? Are you seriously going to get involved in that mess?!”

“This is my fault, Carmilla.” I breathe, voice still uneven. “If all of you weren’t all over me, maybe she’d be okay. We don’t even know where Will is either, what if he got kidnapped, too?”

“Well, I told the police I saw him leave the room so let’s hope he wasn’t kidnapped.” Carmilla concludes.

“It’s my fault. I should have done something other than run off like a little girl.”

“It’s your fault you got bullied?” She questions, cynicism in her timbre.

“No, I- Ugh.” I say, defeated. “Whatever, you just don’t understand…”

The pale girl eyes me with her big, dark orbs, deep in thought. I look away, my cheeks redden. Even if I can barely feel out of emotional exhaustion, she still has that effect on me.

“Fine.” She swallows. “Let’s help then.”

“Really?” Really?!?!?

“Yeah, we don’t have a ride anyway, so.” The deflated Carmilla places her palms inside her jean pockets, as she nods over to the Summer Society group on our left. 

Wow… She has a soul. “Thanks…”

“Laura!” A manlyi-sh voice heads towards me and my housemate. “Carmilla!”

“What do you want, dipstick?” Carmilla addresses the situation, as a running Kirsch comes over to us. 

“Did you guys speak to the police already?” He ignores the remark.

“We did, you can go now.”

“Wait…” He doesn’t ignore THAT. “I swear I didn’t know about the Will thing. Bros tell each other everything but he knew that if he would have told me, I would have been all like ‘not cool, bro.’”

“Charming.” Carmilla responds. 

“Have you heard about him, by the way?” I ask, my voice stern. He needs to know I’m still mad about all of this.

“He went to check up on you after the whole balcony fiasco but when he found out Elsie went missing, he decided it was best to leave.”

That makes my blood boil all over again. “You can tell your ‘bro’ he’s a coward.”

I look at Carmilla, who smirks at my remark. 

“He is, I can’t believe he did all of that. I’m really sorry, Laura.”

“Right.” I nod.

After a few seconds of silence, I spot the Summer Societies moving away. “Shoot, let’s go over there.”

“What’s going on?” Kirsch asks as he follows behind us.

“This outta be good.” Carmilla whispers loud enough for me to hear.

“Hey!” I say after we jog up to them.

“You’re coming?” Danny voices for the group, a smile on her face.

“Yeah, only if you can give us that ride afterwards.”

“Sure!”

“Where are we going?” Kirsch wonders.

“Please tell me this is a joke.” Mel, my new college bully, says out loud.

Betty waves to me from a distance as I look at someone else.

“We need all the help we can get, Mel.” Danny challenges her. “And Laura knew Elsie. She could help.”

“I think we all know that already.” 

I awkwardly look at Carmilla, who seems as disinterested as always.

“Give her a chance.”

“What about the Zeta?” Some other girl asks. “He can’t just tag along.”

“I could if I wanted to! You know, if I knew what this was about…”

“We’re going to search for Elsie for a while around the perimeter in groups. And he is welcome to come.” Danny makes it clear to the rest of the group. “Like I said, we need all the help we can get.”

“Fine, but he’s in your group. And so is the redhead.” Mel negotiates, annoyance apparent.

“Fine.” Danny agrees.

“What about her?” I point towards Carmilla.

“She’ll be with us, too.” Danny informs.

“Great then.” Mel says. “Let’s get this show on the road. There’s at least one walkie talkie per group, right?”

Half of the girls wave theirs around, including Danny.

“Then we’ll meet here in an hour.”

And we all nod and head our separate ways.

-20 Minutes Later-

“I can’t believe I let myself get dragged in this pointless, waste-of-energy, activity.” Carmilla complains (for the hundredth time, I may add) as we walk around the “forest” behind the frat house, in the middle of the night.

“Well, you did. There’s no need to file a report about it every two minutes.” Danny sasses back (for the tenth time, I may add).

“I will if I want to, Lady Liberty.”

I’m starting to think they don’t like each other.

“Hotties, you need to stop arguing.” The hero of the story, Kirsch, speaks up.

“You are such an idiot.” Carmilla groans as she points with her flashlight around the trees. “I can’t believe I was your date.”

“Whoa, you went out on a date with a Zeta?” Danny asks.

“Sadly, I did.” Carmilla says.

“Wow, no wonder you’re complaining.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who invited you out as a mean prank.”

After analyzing his words, my stomach drops at the memory I was trying so hard to forget. The awkward silence following the statement doesn’t make it any better.

“Sorry, Laura.” He clears his throat.

I stay in silence, trying hard to concentrate on my surroundings, using my phone as a source of light.

The rest of the group also stays quiet. I don’t think anyone really knows how to continue a conversation after an awkward remark.

The funny thing about all of this is that today is my birthday… And this is not what I had in mind for a present at all. My birthdays have always sucked beyond measure; they’ve been so painfully boring and excruciating. I never had any friends to have a good time with and now that I thought I did, look what happens.

It isn’t fair… At all. Is it selfish to say that I expected more from everyone…? Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But it’s true. The only person who has tried to help me enjoy my day has been Carmilla, but she has still sassed me throughout the entire night. And maybe I just want her to give me a good, happy birthday hug. Maybe I didn’t even want to come to this party at all… Maybe a night out around town with Danny and Kirsch and Carmilla would have been enough. But no, I decided to be daring and went out on a date with the asshole of the year. 

If I could do this day all over again, maybe I would.

Or maybe I wouldn’t, because maybe Carmilla wouldn’t be talking to me because she would have no reason to even face me.

I glance at the slightly taller than me girl from the group, who is fighting against what appears to be a spider web and I can’t help but silently laugh.  
God, she’s frustrating at times, but I wouldn’t have her any other way. Especially after tonight.

Maybe I take it back… Maybe this has been an amazing birthday because I’ve seen this side of Carmilla that I didn’t even know existed. She danced with me, she stood up for me, she tried to protect me… She showed me that maybe, just maybe, she cares.

And there’s nothing more exciting than that. 

I continue staring at her as I walk forward, she a few steps away from me. She’s always so pretty, even in the middle of the night in a random forest on campus. Her face is pretty, her hair is pretty, her body is pretty, her mind is pretty… Gosh, she’s so pretty.

And I feel like I’m getting closer to figuring out her secrets. I still may not know her name (the case in my dad’s office is still ongoing) but I know that she likes that song Sweet Disposition. And I know she’s capable of laughing. And I know she knows how to put on makeup. And I don’t know, she’s just so pretty, inside and out.

She’s…. Pretty.

Very pretty.

And…

Oh God.

OhGodOhGodOhGod. 

Oh no.

Nononono.

“What’s wrong?” The one person I don’t want to look at faces me once I stop moving.

“What?” My heart starts beating, sweat in my forehead.

“What happened?” She repeats.

“Did you see something?” Danny stops, too. 

Ohnonononono.

“No, um, I just, um…” Don’t look at Carmilla, don’t look at Carmilla, don’t look at Carmilla…

“Spill It out!” The pale girl screams out.

Shoot, it all makes sense now! That’s why I keep getting all nervous around her! That’s why I can’t talk to her without freaking out! That’s why I thought about her when Will was about to kiss me! God, no!! This can’t be happening!

“I, uh, I need some fresh air…” I take some steps backwards, trying hard to distant myself from my crush. 

“But we’re outside…” Kirsch argues.

“What? Oh, right. I just… I uh…” I can’t like Carmilla! She’s going to leave at any given moment and I can’t just keep losing the people I care about… “I need more air.” My steps continue taking me backwards, to the side of the trail. 

“Why are you walking away from us?” The too-pretty-for-my-liking teenager asks, pointing her flashlight at me.

“Am I?” I try to laugh out. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Hollis, you’re starting to freak me out…” Danny says

“No need to worry.” I’m already on top of that. “I just need a few minutes of rest, it’s fi-” Why are my feet no longer touching the floor? “neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

I feel my body rolling away from my friends, my head getting hit multiple times in the process. I try to stop, but I can’t! I can’t stop rolling away! What the hell is happening?!

My hands try to grab anything, but my body force is too strong, making me loose my grip before I can get a hold of it.

“LAURA!” I think I hear someone scream my name.

I’m not sure, I can’t concentrate on anything other than the sound of leaves and thumping.

My eyes can’t focus on my surroundings, it’s all too dark and it’s moving faster than desired. I continue rolling… and rolling… and rolling… Until finally…

I feel my back bump against something hard.

“Ow…” I whisper as my body stays still, my eyes closed. “What the…”

“LAURA!” I hear some echoes from a distance, and it almost makes me want to move. Almost.

But as I open my eyes and glance upwards towards the darkness, I find what appears to be a hill filled with trees and plants…

Did I just… fall from a cliff?

And that’s when it hits me… I just fell… In every sense of the word… For Carmilla Karnstein. The irony.

And then, it all fades to black.


	15. The Birthday, Part 3

The problem with being different from your peers is that they never fully understand your way of thinking and/or behaving.

Like for example, let’s pretend your math teacher taught your class a method to check if a multiplication answer is correct. But you, on the other hand, discovered a different method that you find easier, so you decide to share it the whole class. And after explaining your method, your confused peers make it evident that they are indeed confused, which frustrates your teacher. And in the end, they end up saying that your way of doing it is correct, but that they already taught a different method and it’ll just confuse the students further.

And what do you? You smile and nod, because hey, at least you’re right.

Well, that’s how I usually feel. Like I’m different, and it’s okay.

And that’s why I may have reacted stupidly all night. Maybe a normal person would have never trusted Will. Maybe a normal person wouldn’t have decided to join a suicide squad on a suicide mission to rescue the girl who has made my life miserable. Maybe a normal person would have embraced their feelings for Carmilla instead of falling off a damn cliff.

But I’m not your usual kind of girl. And I used to consider that a blessing… but right now… as I sit with cuts and bruises everywhere, on the Zeta lawn… listening to a group of people either pitying me or blaming me… I’m starting to think that maybe, just maybe, it could be a curse.

“She set us back!” I hear Mel argue to Danny from a distance.

“She fell off a cliff!” Danny replies.

“She shouldn’t have come!”

“But she did! She tried to help!”

“Well, obviously she failed.”

I wiggle myself uncomfortably as Theo (another ‘bro’) and Kirsch try to stick band-aids on my bleeding elbows.

“Sorry.” Theo mumbles.

“It’sokay.” I mumble back.

“We spent nearly an hour trying to find her!” I hear A Summer Society member I don’t recognize, say. “Danny, I know she’s not a bad person, but you know we failed tonight.”

“We’re supposed to keep girls safe, and Laura IS a girl.”

“A girl who should mind her own business!”

“Anyway…” Kirsch clears his throat, probably as uncomfortable by their conversation as I am. “Where else does it hurt?”

“My headache is the only thing that’s killing me… My cuts aren’t that bad.”

“Your lip is still bleeding, though.” Theo informs me.

After I unconsciously lick my bloody lips, I reply. “I know, but I can’t feel it.”

“Well, I think we sort of cleaned as much as we could all the wounds…” Kirsch sets the Zeta first aid kit aside. “You still look pretty beat, though.”

“Kirsch, I literally fell off a cliff. I was lucky there was a hill there to break my fall.”

“You were.” Theo stands. “You definitely were.”

“And you’re even luckier that the most beautiful Hottie in the world found you.” The tall blonde sits beside me.

I try not to roll my eyes, since he’s being all nice and all. “I was…”

“It was so cool.” Kirsch starts. “She called us all like ‘I got her!”. And we were like, that’s pretty cool.”

“You make it sound so exciting.” I reply sarcastically.

“Because it was, dude.”

Theo scoffs, hopefully at Kirsch’s obliviousness, and runs his fingers through his hair. “And to be a little bit more abundant to his fascinating description, it was a pretty nice save.”

“How DID she find me? I honestly don’t remember even getting here…”

“We don’t know.” The dark-haired boy replies. “All we know is that as soon as she found you, she took your phone and called us. And then she carried you a bit until a few of us could meet with her.”

Danny already told me the story and how she was the first one to spot Carmilla with me in her arms, but I like hearing different perspectives on it. It’s… endearing, to say the least.

“I owe her a million thank yous.” I conclude, with a small smile on my face. But the slight facial movement makes my head ache even more, which makes me flinch.

“What’s wrong?” Kirsch asks.

“My head…”

“Where’s Carmilla?” The smaller boy asks. “She should be here by now, we told her where the ice was.”

“Lemme go get her!” A valiant Kirsch offers.

But unfortunately for him, I spot Carmilla from a distance, walking by the Summer’s who were by the door.

“There she is.”My finger points at her.

“Damn…” Kirsch angrily curses under his breath, making my smile widen even more.

And yes, it’s definitely worth the ache.

“Here.” Carmilla extends her hand to hand me an ice pack. “For your head.” She explains.

“Thanks.”My hand swiftly places the pack on the posterior side of my head, which makes my existing bruise in that same spot hurt even more. 

“That bad?” She asks, probably noticing my facial expressions.

“A bit, yeah.”

“If she gets a concussion, I’m blaming it on you guys.” She sits, crossed legged, in front of me. I immediately avoid her eyes as much as possible.

“Well, we couldn’t call the police again. Or 911.” Theo starts. “If they were to find out about your little adventure, we would all get in trouble.”

“Fine by me.” Carmilla sighs. Note to self: Did I seriously just realize how I always found attractive her dramatic sighs?

“How are you guys going to get home?” Kirsch asks from the side. “I’d offer a ride but Will took my car…”

“Danny told us she’d take us.” I reply.

“Ah, well, that’s good.” He says.

“Speaking of home…” My eyes find Carmilla’s face. “My dad has called me like three times already.” She faces me. “I don’t know what to say to him, I haven’t even picked up.”

“Well, if you’re avoiding a freak out, I can assure you that if you just show up with a screwed up face and broken jeans, you’re going to get one anyway.” Carmilla replies with her never-ending sarcastic tone.

“I can’t just tell him over the phone what’s going on.” I argue back. “It’ll make it sound worse than it is…”

“You fell off a cliff, Laura. After your high school bully disappeared a few minutes after talking to YOU.” She replies slowly, seeming as if she’s analyzing her words. Dang it, even her pauses are attractive… “How could it possibly not sound bad?”

“Well, when you put it that way…”

“Mel!” I hear from the side, as Danny’s voice rises. “Mel! Stop!”

… Why is Mel strutting towards me?

“Why do other people always have to fight your battles, pretty face?!” She starts screaming at me once she’s close enough for her liking, making my head throb.

“No one is fighting my battles…”

“Really? Because it seems that you’re not brave enough to admit your mistakes and instead, you send Danny to make everyone feel sorry for you.”

“I don’t do that…”

“Just leave the girl alone, she didn’t fall off a cliff on purpose.” Betty tries to defend me.

The other Summer Society Members gather around us.

“I’m sorry, did I miss something?” Carmilla starts talking from the floor. “Because I don’t remember inviting all of you ‘Wonderwomen’ into our conversation.”

“We probably lost a girl tonight, Hollis.” Mel completely ignores Carmilla and Betty’s remarks. “And we could have caught something on time, but we didn’t, because you screwed us up.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall…” Because I didn’t. “I just wanted to help…”

“I thought ‘fighting evil’ wasn’t your thing.” She repeats what I said the first time we met, making me cringe.

“I know this girl, it’s different now.” I try to argue back.

“It is different, instead of not helping, you make things worse.”

“Mel, that’s enough…” Danny tries to stop her.

“Yeah, hottie.” Kirsch stands, facing the Summer members. “Don’t be so hard on her.”

“The thing about girls like you, Laura, is that you think life is a movie.” Mel continues. “You think that good is always triumphant, evil never wins. In fact, you actually believe that there’s only good or evil, that there’s no gray side. But let me break it to you, the world doesn’t work like that. College doesn’t work like that. So it’s time you grow up and realize that your childish view of the world is actually dangerous to all of us.”

“I said I was sorry…” 

“Sorry doesn’t get Elsie back.”

Trying not to cry, I ask: “What did I even do for you to hate me so much?”

“You got in my way.” She flat-out replies. “And when stupid, ignorant girls like you get in my way, I get really angry.” 

Ouch.

Mel walks away from me, followed by the Summer Society members I don’t know, leaving me, the two Zetas, Betty and Danny, and Carmilla behind.

“… And that’s why Zeta’s are better.” Kirsch breaks the awkward silence.

“Shut up, Kirsch.” Danny whispers as she pushes her hair back. 

“Well, that was entertaining.” Carmilla says as she stands up, leaving only me on the floor. “But I think that it’s time for us to go.”

“Yeah…” I guess, probably.

“Can I come with?” Betty asks Danny.

“Sure.” She replies.

“Come on, Laura.” Theo extends his hands towards me, motioning me to take it. “You need to go home.”

I nod quietly as I take his hand, and he pulls me up, Kirsch pushing me from behind. It hurts a lot, but I’m too tired to complain.

The car ride was quiet. Carmilla was playing a game on my phone, Danny and Betty exchanged a few words, and I just stared out of the window the whole way. I guess neither one of us was feeling very talkative.

Once I got home, it was even worse. 

My dad first screamed at me for ignoring his calls, then he screamed when he saw all the band-aids and the cuts and the dried blood, and then he freaked out once I told him everything that happened. 

Carmilla stared, not making any comments.

He then also used the word “stupid” as an adjective to describe me, followed by the famous quote “you’re grounded”.

Frankly, I don’t even know why he grounded me. Maybe because I was stupid, or maybe because I didn’t keep him up to date. 

Either way, he said he didn’t trust me anymore.

And he told Carmilla that next time, instead of trying to save my butt, that she should just call him directly and ignore my complaints. She replied with a “yes, sir” and we all went our separate ways.

And now, as I lay on my bed with my pjs on, I can’t help but think about how Mel and my dad are right. I screwed up. Big time. Over and over again. I kept making bad decisions and I just, ugh, I shouldn’t have…

I guess I deserve all these cuts and bruises… I mean, I had it coming, right? Someone who is this stupid is bound to get themselves hurt. That’s just the way the world works.

My eyes close, searching for some sleep, but instead my head starts pounding again. No matter where I place my head, it hurts so freaking much. I just want to sleep… Why can’t I just sleep…?

I try to sit against the bed frame, trying to not rest my head too much, because maybe I could sleep that way. But instead of my head, now it’s my lower back that hurts. Damn it…

I then try another position, failing epically yet again, and I just… lose it.

I’m tired, I just want to sleep, I need to sleep! Damn it, how am I supposed to relax if my whole body hurts?! 

A few tears escape my eyes, and I’m not sure why they even do. But unfortunately, they do fall. And apparently, now I’m crying, great.

I slam my hand against the side of my bed out of anger, hurting my elbow, which makes me cry even harder.

“Damn it!” I cry out. “Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!”

Everything hurts so fucking much, damn it! I just want to sleep! Is that too fucking much to-

“Hey.” 

Her voice startles me, coming completely out of the blue. It makes me jump, which in return makes me bump my head in the process. “Ow…”

“Do you LIKE hurting yourself or something?” She asks, hiding in the dark, the moonlight being the only source of light in the room.

“No, I just, ugh.” I sit up straight, avoiding the pain and wiping my eyes. “You scared me.”

“Don’t I always?”

“Yeah…”

“Listen, uh, your dad sent me to check up on you.”

“I’m fine.” I mumble, hiding my legs with my blankets.

“Your cursing seems to suggest otherwise.” She seems to move. I can’t really tell, though.

“I am.” I sigh, my chest feeling empty.

“Does it hurt?” 

“Yeah…”

“I told you to take Advil like an hour ago. Don’t be so st-”

“Stupid?” I finish her sentence. “I just don’t feel like taking it.”

“I was going to say stubborn, but whatever floats your boat.”

“Right.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

I hear some movement coming from her end, and my eyes spot her figure walking away from me. 

I nod to no one in particular as I try to lie down again, but my own movements are followed by a distant “damn it” and the figure that was leaving my room is now walking towards me.

“What are you doing?” I ask, eying her as much as I can.

“Just, lie down and pick a side.” She instructs me.

“Okay…” Now, this is weird.

Carmilla then silently, yet swiftly, hops on my bed, taking the left side.

“What are you-”

“Questions aren’t appreciated right now, thank you very much.”

I notice how she’s wearing some old pajamas of mine. It’s safe to assume that my dad probably gave them to her. 

“God, how can you sleep with no curtains?” She asks, flinching at the moonlight.

“I guess I got used to it.” My voice replies in all honesty, my body a bit tense following the current events.

“I see.” She replies.

We stay in silence for a while, a long, excruciating while to be honest. I don’t dare to move, fearing that this is some kind of dream and if I make any sudden movements, I may wake up.

“We should sleep.” She says as she faces away from me.

Huh, she sleeps on her side. Noted. “Yeah…” Wait… Is she sleeping with me?! “We should.”

“Night.” She says as she takes some of my blanket and one of my pillows, making me smile.

“Night…” 

And for some odd reason, her presence lessens my physical pain, helping me sleep blissfully.

 

-The Next Morning-

“Happy Birthday to youuu!! Happy Birthday to you!” My ears are awaked by a voice, my body still too tired to move. “Happy Birthday, Dear Lauraaaa!!” I think I feel a dip beside me, making me grunt. “Happy Birthday to you!”

I grunt against my pillow, moving away from the person next to me.

“Wake up, sweetie!”The voice persists “It’s your birthday!”

“Mmm…” I turn around, my eyes still slightly closed, and find my dad with a birthday cake in his hands. What the… “Dad…” My voice sounds groggy and distant to my ears. “What are you doing…?”

“It’s your birthday! It’s tradition, honey!”

“No…” I try to sit on my bed but my body is too tired for that. “Yesterday…”

“Come on, honey!” My senses feel my dad setting the cake on the side. “Wake up!”

“Mmm…” I rub my eyes, adjusting my view to my surroundings. The Sun coming from the window blinds me, though. “Dang…”

“Come on, we’re waiting downstairs!” 

“But it was yesterday…” Wasn’t it?

Oh, yesterday… Carmilla! I face to my side and find and empty spot on my bed. Did she leave in the middle of the night?

“No silly, it’s today!”

“But…” My right hand unconsciously touches the back of my head, and surprisingly, it doesn’t hurt. What the… “Really?”

“Yeah, of course!” My dad picks up the cake from the table with one hand and takes my arm with the other. “Let’s go! We’re waiting downstairs!”

Was all of yesterday just a dream? God, I hope so.

I let my body get dragged out of bed and follow my dad to the main floor. Carmilla is probably there, so I’ll just ask her about it instead.

Once I enter the kitchen, my view still a bit foggy, my breath gets stuck in my lungs as soon as I see the “we” my dad was referring to.

Oh my God…

“Happy Birthday, baby!” My mother, or at least the mother I remember, walks up to me and gives me a big hug, my muscles tensing under her touch. “Did you sleep well?!”

“Mom…” I manage to croak out, my voice foreign. “How did you…”

“Skip work?” She asks. “I asked for a day off, my baby deserves it.”

“No…” I step away. “How are you here?”

“What do you mean, sweetheart?” She asks, her smile brighter than ever. 

“I think she woke up a bit disoriented.” My father breaks in as he sets the cake on the table again. “She kept saying it wasn’t her birthday today.”

“Really?” My mother faces me, eying me carefully. “Are you feeling well?”

“I- I don’t know. Yeah, I think.” I am so, beyond confused right now.

“Be right back, let me go get the candles.” My dad notifies us with a big smile on his face, leaving the kitchen.

“So!” My mom starts. “How’s college?! We haven’t had a lot of time to talk about it.”

“Um…” How does one politely remind someone that they’re dead…? “It’s good, I guess.” 

“Good! I’m glad you went to Silas, it’s a great university.”

“It is.” I try to smile.

“You turned into a beautiful girl, Laura.”

At that, I genuinely smile. 

“Too bad I’m not alive to see it.” 

Wait, what the-

My mother then takes a big knife in her hands and sticks it in her stomach, never ceasing to smile.

“NO!” I scream from the top of my lungs, trying to move towards her, but I can’t… Something is pulling me back! “NO! MOM! MOM!”

Her body bounces slightly off of the floor, splattering blood everywhere, until she lies motionless. 

“NO! MOM!” When I’m finally able to move, I run towards her, only to check her pulse and find none. “NO!”

“LAURA!” My dad screams behind me, dropping what I assume are the candles. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

“I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” I scream, choking back tears. “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”  
“SHE’S DEAD! SHE’S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!”

“DAD, I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” My tears fall onto her deceased body, my chest tightening. “I COULDN’T MOVE!”

“LIAR!”

“DAD! NO! I DIDN’T-” Gasping for air, I try to finish my sentence. “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”

“LAURA!” A distant voice screams at me.

But I ignore it, sobbing uncontrollably. 

“LAURA!”

I feel somebody shaking my body fiercely, probably my dad. I ignore it, covering my eyes, trying hard to not scream again.

“LAURA!” The voice becomes clear, and I recognize Carmilla’s voice. “LAURA!”

I gasp one last time, and when I open my eyes, I see darkness. Darkness and the moonlight shinning at me.

I heave a few times, trying to catch my breath, but I can’t. I can’t breathe, I can’t feel my legs, I can’t feel-

“Hey…” This time, her voice doesn’t just startle me, it frightens me, making me scream. “Hey, it’s okay… It was just a dream…” Carmilla gently caresses my arm with one hand as she pushes my hair away from my face with the other. “It was just a dream…” She repeats.

I swallow hard, her soothing voice allowing me to breathe again. “What happened…?” My voice feels as groggy as it sounded on the dream.

“You were whimpering and kicking a lot… I think you were crying too…” 

“Oh…” I sniffle, making me notice how even more tears were coming out of my eyes.

“Wait, are you crying…?”

“No…” My voice breaks.

“Damn it…” She rubs my back with her hand, eying me carefully. I could tell her it stings a bit, but the comfort is much appreciated. “Wanna talk about it… or?”

“I just, uh, nah, it’s okay…” I mumble, sniffing my way to the end of the sentence.

“Sure?” 

“Yeah, I just uh…” An involuntary sob escapes my throat, making me clutch my face. “I just uh, need some rest…”

The thing about Carmilla is that she will always surprise you, at the most unexpected times. She is far from predictable, and sometimes I hate it…

But as she swiftly embraces me in a side hug, placing my head in her chest, holding me tight, I love it. I love it dearly. 

And I allow myself to cry… and cry… and cry. 

And she just holds me, without saying a word, without demanding an explanation.

And I could say to her that this birthday was a disaster, and that I feel humiliated and guilty for everything that went wrong. And I could tell her about my dream and about how much I miss my mom. And I could tell her how frustrating it is to find out that the guy I called a friend turned on me for fun. And I could remind her how much my body hurts.

But I don’t. 

Because with her, words aren’t needed.

And as I let myself fall into the wonders of this birthday hug, I thank God for taking the time to deliver this belated, much needed gift.


	16. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all soooooo much for your comments, your kudos, and your bookmarks. You make my heart swell<3\. You all inspire me to continue doing my favorite hobby in the world. 
> 
> Enjoy;)

Carmilla’s Point of View.

You are awakened by a bright light hitting you in the face, making your eyes slowly open to find the source.

You wrinkle your eyes up, trying to see what’s around you, and find that the Sun is the culprit of your disturbance.

“Damn it…” You whisper back to yourself, and try to stand to close the curtains, but you notice that there’s something on you.

Something heavy.

And as you blink a few times, you find Laura Hollis cuddling up to your chest, one leg over you. 

You gasp. This was not the plan. She wasn’t supposed to… cuddle. That’s not how you work, at least not with her. 

But what really surprises you is how your arm is over her body, guarding her from all harm, which makes you move it away in one swift motion. 

The smaller girl doesn’t even flinch; she seems to be sleeping blissfully, whereas you feel dizzy and anxious.

“Damn it, Carmilla…” You repeat in another whisper, eying the girl carefully.

You notice the rhythm of her breathing by the way her chest contracts against your side; it’s slow and even.

Breathe in…. Breathe out.

Breathe in… Breathe out.

She’s definitely asleep, which means that it’s going to be a bit of a struggle to get out of here. 

On the bright side, at least she’s not talking your ears off. 

You think about last night and how you couldn’t sleep, thinking about how sad she looked on the car ride and when Mel was saying particularly horrible things about her. And yeah, sure, you could have fucked the bitch over by saying everything that was in your mind, but you didn’t.

You couldn’t. 

If you were going to act emotionless, you couldn’t break the façade (which you already did more than once, but who the fuck is counting?).

And the guilt ate you alive. Because yeah, you saved the girl more than once, but when she needed the emotional kind of saving, you became mute.

In a way, it felt right. Because hey, that minion is not your real responsibility, Elle is. But when her heart broke right before your eyes, for an instant you felt like maybe she was.

Or that maybe she should be.

And that’s why you lied and said that her dad had sent you to make sure she was okay; because you were the one who needed to know if she was.

You hope you never have to give an explanation to-

A sudden motion from her part makes you come back to your senses, and you notice how even if she’s still cuddled up to you, she took her leg off of you, giving you access to escape.

And even if you have to push your body to actually LEAVE, you do, because she CANNOT find you by her side when she wakes up.

You quietly, but rapidly, leave the bed and walk to the door. The door makes a small creak, which makes you worry, but when you look back and find Hollis sound asleep, you sigh in relief. 

You close the door behind you, making sure to make no noise, and once you do, you practically sprint to the bathroom.

“DAMN IT!” You allow yourself to grunt as loudly as possible, pushing your hair back in the process. “FUCK!”

‘You’ve screwed up big time, Carmilla. Big time.’ You imagine your sister, Mattie, say as you think about how the hell you let yourself get in this position.

She’s going to take this as a fucking invitation to get closer to you. 

I mean, you saved the girl from getting run over that one time and she immediately assumed that you cared, so what the fuck do you think she’s going to get in her little head as soon as she remembers what you did for her last night?

Great, motherfucking idea, Carmilla. You just complicated things even more.

You have a mission, Carmilla, you’re not making buddies to slumber party with. And much less attractive buddies. Nope, it’s not your job.

You glance at your shitty reflection in the mirror, making you sigh. “Get it together, damn it.”

You throw some water in your face, attempting to erase the weakness off of it. You then look up again, steadying yourself on the sink, and see some water dripping from your face, wetting your clothes. 

“Okay… This could still be fixed…” You say. “Just bitch out on her a couple of times until she stays away again…”

You gaze at yourself for a couple more seconds, regaining your composure. “Okay… I can do this…”

Since you’re already in the bathroom, you take the opportunity to wash your teeth and dry out your face, and once you do, you head downstairs, tiptoeing your way to the kitchen.

Once you’re near the fridge, you hurriedly open it and take your thermo, hidden behind some rotten, frozen vegetables. You drink some of its content, attempting to relieve your stress, and it surprisingly does.

“Ahh…” You breathe out, once you’ve already drank half of it. But you close your thermo again, knowing that you need to save some for later. Who knows when you’ll get the next delivery.

You place the thermo where you last left it, knowing that you picked the best hiding place. 

You sit on a stool a few feet away, remembering every event from the night before, trying to think of ways to fix it. 

You need answers, fast. You need solutions. You decide that you need to call Mattie since she always knows what to do, but instead, you hear the home phone ring.

You glance around you, making sure no one is awake, and when you check the caller ID and read the number on it, you roll your eyes.

“What?” You whisper as you pick up.

“Good morning to you too, sugar puss.” The voice says.

“We screwed up, Will. Especially you.”

“Aren’t you going to let me in?”

“What?”

And just on cue, you hear the bell ring. “Damn it!” You whisper as you run to the front door, opening it, glancing at the top of the stairs. You find a smiling Will on the other side, looking like your typical villain.

“You’re going to get me caught, you idiot.” You hiss at him, making his eyes roll.

“Boo-hoo.” He lets himself inside, knowing his way around the house. “Is anyone awake?”

“Not yet, but if you continue being so reckless, someone will be.”

“Would you relax? I don’t get caught.”

At that, you scoff. “You’re a fucking idiot.” You walk back to the stool where you stood up from, sitting comfortably. 

“I thought I was a fucking sucker.” He smirks sarcastically, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“You were the last person who was with her, Will.” You say as lowly as possible. “All roads lead back to you.”

“And you were so worried I was going to play with YOUR food.”

You look away, and whisper back a “shut up”.

“Oh please, you think I didn’t know? You don’t just go out on dates with random guys. You thought I was going to be cruel enough to kidnap your cupcake over there.”

“Well, obviously you’re pretty unpredictable.”

“Are you mad I made your pretty girl cry?”

You rub your hands together, always glancing at the stairs from the side. “It was her birthday, dickhead. You could have done something else.”

“I didn’t know it was her birthday, sis.” He gets closer. “I just needed to get Elsie to trust me.”

“So you could betray her?”

“Exactly.”

“Aren’t you a fucking murder artist?”

“I enjoy my tactics.”

“I see.” You move uncomfortably, the nerves of getting caught making you jumpy.

“It’s funny coming from you, though.”

“Shut up, Will.” You threaten quietly, eying him carefully, trying to convey your frustration.

“At least I don’t cuddle up with the enemy.” He smirks big enough to make your blood, or lack of, boil.

“Shut the fuck up, it’s your final warning.”

“If you didn’t want me to find out, you should have at least closed the curtains.”

“She doesn’t have curtains, moron.”

“It’s like you were setting yourself up.”

“I don’t have time for this.” You walk up to the phone line near him, attempting to grab it. “I need to call Mattie, we need to fix this mess.”

Like lighting, he takes the phone, hiding it from your view.

“Really, Will?”

“She’s in Morocco, babe.” He says what you already knew. “Don’t bug her anymore.”

“Give me the fucking phone, I’m serious.” You try to reach behind him, but he pushes you aside.

“And so am I.” The never-ceasing smirk makes you believe otherwise.

“The police are going to figure out it was you! And if they catch you…”

“Mom won’t let that happen.”

“What if she does? Or even worse, what if it’s out of her control?” I wonder, trying hard to keep both of our voices even.

“Then you’re going to help me, because you owe me.” He hands you the phone, making your eyes roll.

“I could get the blood on my own, you know?” You place the phone away.

“Not for that, for keeping your secret.”

“What secret?” You eye him guardedly, trying to read the look on his eyes.

“That you’re cheating on Elle.”

“I’m not cheating on anyone, Will.” You turn around, heading back to the stool, attempting to regain your careless attitude.

“Really? Because last night seemed pretty compromising.”

“I was trying to fix your screw ups, Will.” 

“I’m not just talking about the cuddling, Carmilla.” He gets closer, also eying the staircase. “You saved Laura after her nasty fall.”

You blink. You thought he didn’t know that. “I just found her.”

“You turned into a giant, black cat to do so.”

You stay quiet. Fuck.

“Do you really think I didn’t stay around to watch the downfall?”

“If I came back here with no Laura, things would be a little complicated.”

“You don’t NEED to give me excuses, sis.” He says. “You haven’t seen Elle in a while. A long while, actually, and that’s okay. We all have needs. Who knows if you’ll actually be able to save her, she’s probably dead by now.”

And that’s when you lose it. 

With the least amount of strength you can muster, you pin him against the kitchen wall, placing your arm in his neck, face to face. “I told you to shut. The fuck. Up.”

He leers, enjoying the way he hit you right in your soft spot. “No need to get aggressive, Kitty.”

“Get out of my way, asshole. Stay away from Laura, stay away from her friends, stay away from my head, and don’t talk to mom about me. Don’t do anything. I’ll get my own fucking blood.” 

“I know you don’t mean that, sweetie.” He croaks out, seeming to enjoy the choking. “You need me as much as I need you.”

“How the hell do you need ME?”

“You fix my messes.” He struggles breathing, as I eye him fiercely. “And I bring out the worst of you. It’s-it’s a mutual thing.”

“Don’t screw up my plans.” You pin him harder.

“I’m-I’m.” He struggles and laughs, and then he tries again. “I’m starting to think you don’t have a plan.”

You stare at him, hating how he knows you better than anyone.

“I won’t tell- mom.” He smiles. “Just-just don’t waste yourself on someone who’s supposed to save you.”

“Carm!” You hear her voice from upstairs, making you gasp.

You look at Will, who just raises his finger to his lip, trying to make a shush motion.

You back off of your prey, hearing some steps coming your way. You look at the staircase and see her strutting down. Your eyes look back at Will, trying to find him, but you’re faced with an empty wall instead.

“Carm?” You hear her say from the kitchen entrance, and you face her.

Her expression changes as soon as she sees yours. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah.” You clear your throat, adrenaline high. You try to muster something mean like, ‘leave me the fuck alone’ or ‘fucking stalker’, or even ‘well don’t you look like shit’, but you can’t. You fucking can’t. You can’t say something like that when she’s looking at you the way Elle always wanted for you to look at her. And it’s your fucking weakness. “Everything’s okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I managed to portray how different the train of thoughts of these two girls are. Short, but very important, update;)


	17. The Aftermath Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! College has been driving me crazy. Enjoy.

Laura’s Point of View

(20 Minutes Earlier)

The usual sunlight awakens me, embracing me like an old friend. But I shyly hide beneath the blankets, in an attempt to sleep five more minutes, how I used to tell my dad I would do. But the movement makes my stiff muscles contract, which in return, makes me hiss softly in pain. At that, I slowly open my eyes as I rub them with my knuckles.

“Mmm…” I moan (not sexually, if I may add) as I move over slightly, yesterday’s events piling up in my head like a flashback montage. 

So it was my birthday, I went to the Zeta party where I was humiliated by my former bully, who was then abducted, and in our search party, I fell off a cliff. And after that, I was screamed at by some Summer members, came back home, was screamed at by my dad, and then Carmilla came into my room and…

Carmilla!

I remember how she slept next to me and how I cried in her arms for a good half an hour. I remember how she held me, how she hushed me nicely, how she was there for me, making my sleepy senses awaken. 

But unfortunately, I find my side empty.

I’m not going to lie, it’s a bit disappointing to wake up alone. I mean, it’s not like I expected her to stay… Or I don’t know, maybe I did. But I guess it would have been nice to wake up and find her sleeping by my side. But sadly, that’s not the case.

What’s really happening is that my body is hurting like a mother trucker and the sunlight isn’t allowing me to fall back asleep. So I resign from my sleeping schedule instead and slowly head to the bathroom, where I wash my teeth and my face.

After I freshen up a bit, my body unconsciously leads me to Carmilla’s room (or at least to the entrance of it, I don’t just invade people’s privacy), but I notice how her door is slightly open and how her bed, from the littlest crack, appears to be empty.

“Carm?” I knock.

Silence.

I weakly push the door as I walk in (apparently we’re in that circle of trust now) and find that the room is indeed empty.

“Where is she…?” I whisper to myself, eying my surroundings. 

So I decide to head downstairs in my mission to find her.

Okay… I start to think… So what if I do find her downstairs? What then? 

Do I smile? Do I say good morning? Do I just say ‘hey’? Do I pretend that I’m just getting some breakfast?

Or… What if she goes back to being all distant again…?

I mean, I doubt it… It’s obvious she cares… But… What if it does happen?

I take a deep breath as I stand on the top of the staircase, trying to calm my mild anxiety. “Just relax, it’s just Carmilla.” 

Except it isn’t just Carmilla anymore. She isn’t just my mysterious, interesting housemate. She’s… The girl I have feelings for. The girl I like, the girl who makes me nervous. And she’s living with me, meaning that I have to face her pretty body every day. Meaning that she can see me in my most vulnerable and humiliating moments. Meaning that I can never avoid her. And I have to admit, it’s a bit intimidating.

And scary… She’s probably leaving at the end of the year and I’ll probably never see her again… How naïve of me is it to crush on someone so temporary? But if what they say in movies is true, then yeah, I guess I can’t choose who to love.

Especially if I’m gay.

A loud thump interrupts my thoughts, startling me a bit. Did that just come from downstairs? I stay in silence, breath hitched, trying to listen to any more noise, but I hear nothing. After a few seconds, I conclude that maybe it was just the wind. Or maybe Carmilla really is downstairs, doing some normal, none violent stuff.

But suddenly, I swear, that for a slight second, I can hear some muttering. And it’s not just a feminine voice… I can hear another voice as well…

Is Carmilla with someone?

“Carm?” I speak up, kicking myself internally because maybe I shouldn’t have made my presence known. I mean, come on, what if there’s a murderer in the house?! But I take a deep breath, knowing that I already blew my cover, and strut downstairs.

The faint muttering is dissolved by my steps as I head to the kitchen, assuming the noises were coming from there. Once I enter the room, I find my housemate’s back facing me.   
Well, that’s odd.

“Carm?” I try again, and then she faces me.

And I swear, her face looks even paler than usual, if that’s even possible. “Everything alright?” I have to ask, worry hitting me like a thousand bricks. Did something happen? Who was she talking to? What’s going on?

“Yeah.” She clears her throat, eying me carefully. “Everything’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” I press on, noticing how off and nervous she seems. “You don’t seem okay…”

“I said I’m fine.” She crosses her arms as she looks at the living room next to us, her foot tapping the floor lightly.

“Um…” Let’s try a different approach, then. “I swear I heard some voices…”

“Oh.” She says, as she heads to her usual stool. “Sorry, I was just talking to myself.”

“Huh.” Okay, I guess this is how much info I’m going to get.

“You feeling any better, creampuff?”

Yep, that’s definitely all I’m getting. “Sorta.” I swiftly and cautiously sit on the stool in front of her. “If you meant emotionally.”

“I meant physically, Cliff Hanger, but I guess it’s good that you’re better emotionally.”

“Oh.” Of course she meant physically. “No, my body aches even more. I feel like I tore all of my muscles.”

“I mean, you did fall off a cliff.”

“Thanks for reminding me twice in less than 30 seconds.”

“My pleasure.”

Before I can reply, the home phone starts ringing.

“I’ll get it.” I painfully stand from the stool, heading towards the phone, when Carmilla stops me.

“Wait!”

“What?” I face her as I get closer.

“You shouldn’t answer.” She shrugs. “Maybe it’s someone trying to sell you some useless piece of trash.”

Once I have the phone in my hands, I read the caller ID. “No, it’s my dad.” I pick up. “Hey, dad.”

“There you are!” I hear his voice from the other line. “I called you twice on your phone, I was beginning to think you were still asleep.”

“Sorry, I left my phone upstairs. I’m in the kitchen with Carmilla.”

My eyes fall on a disinterested Carmilla, making my butterflies come alive.

I look away. “But what’s up?”

“Well, a police officer called…”

Oh, no. “And?”

“He wants to talk to you and Carmilla again about Elsie.”

“Dang, I thought I was going to have more time.”

“I was going to tell you this morning in person, but when I went into your room and found you and Carmilla sleeping together-”

My breath hitches. Oh God, did he really see that?!

“-I didn’t dare to wake either one of you up. And I had to run to the office anyway.”

“What did he say?” I change the subject.

“He wants to meet with you two today at the station in about an hour, is that okay?”

“Sure, but, you took the car.”

“I’ll pick you both up in around 30 minutes.”

“Fine.” I look at Carmilla again. “We’ll be ready.”

She scrunches her nose up, facing me, now seeming to be interested. 

“Great, see you soon.” My dad concludes.

“Bye.” I hang up.

“Why are we getting ready?”

“We have an appointment with the police officer you blew off.” I place the phone in its usual place.

“Seriously?”

“Mhm.” I walk out of the kitchen, heading to my room, Carmilla following behind me.

“This is not good at all.”

“I don’t know why you’re so stressed out.” I walk up the stairs. “It’s not like I kidnapped her. I have no idea where she is.”

“Laura, they found your dad’s number in less than 24 hours. Don’t you think that’s a bit alarming?”

“Why would it be alarming?”

“Don’t act all calm.” She starts. “I saw how nervous that police officer made you.”

“He was asking a lot of questions.”

“He was repeating the same questions over and over again, trying to catch you lying.”

“How are you so sure?” We walk inside my room.

“Because I am.” She reclines her body against the door frame, crossing her arms. “Just like I know that you’re trying to hide how much your body hurt as it you were walking up the stairs.”

Dang it. “Am I that obvious?”

“Yeah, you are.”

Rolling my eyes, I reply. “Look, I didn’t do anything. I have nothing to worry about.”

“You look like murder itself.” She reminds me.

Crap.

I look in the mirror, where I find a much bruised body (it looks worse than yesterday) and a very creepy, looking Laura.

“And we can’t tell them we went searching for your best friend ourselves.” She speaks up again. “Remember?”

I sigh. “I do. But what if my dad already told them? Or worse, what if they find out themselves?”

Carmilla mimics my sigh and walks over to me. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

“This sucks.” I say as I head to my bed, trying to ignore the throbbing on my back and bruises. “Now we’re in the middle of this stupid investigation and we had nothing to do with it.”

Carmilla delicately sits next to me, never stopping to look at me. 

I have to admit, it makes me way more nervous than desired.

“Did you take your pill? You know, for the pain?” She asks.

“No.” I reply. “I haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

“I want to get ready first.” I look at her. “I rather eat knowing I already did everything I had to do.”

“Fine.”

There she goes again. Caring and then not caring. I wish I knew her. I wish I could read her thoughts. I don’t even know if she’s gay.

Not that it matters.

It’s not like I’m going to date her or anything…

But I still want to know everything about her, that hasn’t changed. And as much as I know that as soon as I bring up last night to her, she’ll shut down, I need to do it. Because… I don’t understand her. 

“Hey…” I start.

“Yeah?” She lies down.

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For everything you did yesterday.”

“Don’t get all sentimental with me, cupcake.”

And there she goes AGAIN.

“I just want you to know that it’s appreciated.”

“Done.” She states. “Next subject please.”

“Why does it make you feel so uncomfortable to get intimate with someone?”

“Intimate?” I don’t even have to look at her to know that she’s smirking.

“Yes, intimate. I’m trying to have a deep conversation with you and you’re just brushing it off.” I complain.

“Well, I’m not very profound, sweetie.”

“But why?”

“I’m just not.”

I sigh in defeat. “Fine. Just, thank you.”

“Sure.”

And just on cue, to spare me from my anger, I get a text from Danny.

… Oh, no.

“What’s wrong?” Carmilla sits up quickly. “You look sick.”

Oh, no. She was right.

“Hellowww?” She snaps her fingers in front of my face, trying to get my attention. “What happened?”

“Will, all of the Summers, some Zetas, and Kirsch are in the police station right now.”

“What?” She creases her eyebrows, eying the text in my phone. “How did you-”

“Danny.” I stand, pushing my hair back. This is not good.

“Relax, the police are just doing their job. That means they don’t really have a lead so they bring all those people in.”

“No, Carmilla, you don’t understand.” I breathe out. “The problem isn’t that everyone is in there. The problem is that they already have a lead.” I remember the words in Danny’s text. “And apparently, the officer keeps asking everyone about me.” 

“Are you saying…”

“I’m saying that I think that I’m their lead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And also, sorry that it was a short update. Hope you liked it :)


	18. The Interview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I APOLOGIZE DEEPLY FOR THE DELAY. COLLEGE IS SUPER STRESSFUL RIGHT NOW, THIS TOOK ME TWO WEEKS TO WRITE. BUUUT after next week, things are supposed to go back to normal, so i shall try to return to updating at least once a week! (emphasis on the try) anyway, enjoy!

Back to when I was a freshman in high school, I looked out of my window and saw a shooting star. It was bright, it was quick, it was majestic. I had never seen one before, especially since I was always indoors, but that night, I finally caught one and I was proud. I closed my eyes, remembering that Cheetah Girls movie I saw as a kid, and made a wish.

I wished I could be as popular as Elsie.

And I have to admit, I sort of expected to get a call from Elsie a few minutes later, preferably a call in which she would invite me to a spontaneous and musical trip to Barcelona, which would be enough to make me popular. Everyone would consider me her best friend so I would be AS popular as Elsie, because we would always be together.

But that didn’t happen.

Not even close.

In fact, the next day, she made me trip in the cafeteria.

So I let that one go and decided that maybe, some wishes never come true.

But as I sit in the lobby of the police station, surrounded by lots of well-known college students, I wonder if my wish did come true after all, only a few years later.

“Would you relax?” Carmilla whispers at me, she sitting by my side. “You look too guilty.”

“Yeah, Laura.” Danny agrees from my other side. “We don’t know if you’re the lead or not.”

“You said there was a possibility.” I whisper back.

“A possibility isn’t definite. It’s a maybe.”

“Well, I won’t be calm until it’s a no.”

“It won’t be a no unless you’re calm, cupcake.” Carmilla mocks me.

I sigh, all eyes on me. “Why is everyone still here?”

“Most people left already, these are just a few people left.” Danny informs me.

“Great.”

“I’m guessing your dad is having a blast in there.” The brunette snickers. “It’s been a whole five minutes. I’m surprised they haven’t arrested you yet.”

The tall redhead snorts, now talking to Carmilla. “Leave the freshie alone. It’s been a hard weekend.”

The smaller girl stays quiet.

I swear I feel her eye roll at Danny.

“Do they know?” I change the subject.

“Do they know what?” The redhead asks.

“About our adventure last night.”

“They do.” She says. “Mel was the first one interviewed and she came clean to not seem suspicious if it was later revealed.”

“What did they say?”

“Apparently, the guy didn’t get mad. He just indirectly said that we shouldn’t get involved in all of that because it could fuck up the investigation.”

“I guess it wasn’t as bad then.”

“I guess.”

The door on my right opens and I see my dad heading my way.

“Dad…” I stand up. “What’s up?”

I look behind him and notice how the officer who interviewed him isn’t the same officer who interviewed me yesterday. Huh…

“Everything’s alright.” He smiles, but I know he’s holding back information. “They’ll interview you soon.”

“Okay, everyone who was already interviewed, please leave the station. Don’t stay here for the show, come on.” The officer says, demand in his voice.

I hear a few grunts around the crowd around me as they stand up, heading towards the exit.

“Carmilla…?” The officer starts a few seconds after the room is cleared up, confusion in his voice.

“Just Carmilla.” The broody brunette says.

“Right…” He drags out. “Come on in.”

She sighs as she gets up, as if moving was such a bother, and follows behind the serious officer, leaving my father, Danny, and I behind.

“Are you sure everything is okay?” I ask my dad again.

“Yes, I’m sure.” He smiles sketchily. “Just, be careful with what you say, Laura. Okay? Officers and judges seem to twist everything you say around.”

“Judges?” My pulse freezes.

“No, no.” My father reads the panic in my face. “No judges.”

“Yeah, it was just an expression.” Danny adds, trying to comfort me.

“I don’t really like that expression…”

“And I won’t use it again.” My dad continues smiling. “Breathe. It’s okay.”

I nod nervously as I sit down with Danny and dad.

My eyes fall on the clock on the wall. It’s 10 past 11. I close my eyes, praying that this ends faster than desired.

*20 Minutes Later*

A bugged Carmilla walks out of the same door my dad came out of with the same police officer behind her. She rolls her eyes as she gets closer to us, my nerves on high.

“Laura Hollis.” He reads off of a paper.

I look at my dad, silently hoping he can get me out of this, but he nods instead, encouraging me to go on.

Taking a deep breath, my body starts taking the lead, hoping I don’t look as guilty as everyone keeps saying I do.

“This way.” He says as he walks through a hallway, my feet trying to keep up. Before the door closes behind me, I take one last glance at my family and friends, but my eyes only manage to find Carmilla’s.

As pathetic as it may sound, it relaxes me enough to follow behind the officer without tripping.

He takes a left turn into another hallway and we pass a few offices, each one occupied.

So maybe this isn’t so bad. Maybe everyone gets interviewed every once in a while. Maybe it shouldn’t be as scary as I’m making it out to be. I mean, I didn’t do anything. There’s no proof, I left before she was even gone. I can’t possibly get arrested for seeming guilty.

… Cue the memories of all the shows I’ve seen in which someone who is innocent is found guilty.

Nope. They can’t do that.

At the end of the aisle, we walk in what appears to be his office, since I spot some pictures of him and his family? (maybe) on the desk.

“Take a seat, Laura.”

I do as I’m told and sit across from him, he sitting behind his desk.

“Good afternoon.” He starts. “I’m officer Vordenberg. My partner, the detective who interrogated you, is currently busy so he asked me to take over for the day.”

“Okay…”

“So, tell me.” He sighs. I decided that he’s more tired than bored. “Why are you here, Miss Hollis?”

“I honestly don’t know…”

“What happened last night? You look pretty beat.”

My sore muscles shift uncomfortably as I clear my throat, frustrated because the whole “cover-it-with-makeup” thing didn’t work.

“It’s a very long story…”

“I have time.” He leans back on his chair, seeming to make himself at home.

“Should I explain the cuts and bruises first or everything?”

“Everything.”

“Okay…” I shift again. “Well, yesterday was my birthday…”

“And you were turning…?”

Shoot. What am I going to say? Carmilla told them I just turned 18, but by now, they should know I’m 19…

“Miss?”

“Yeah, sorry.” I clear my throat again. “I still haven’t gotten used to my new age.”

“And that new age is…?”

“Nineteen.” I can’t lie. “I turned nineteen.”

His eyes fall on some papers in front of him as he nods. “My partner wrote down that you just turned 18, though. Do you know why the confusion happened?”

At this point, the truth is my only alibi. “Can I tell the story so I can explain why the mix up happened?”

“Go ahead.” Mr. Vordenberg smiles.

“So, yesterday I turned nineteen. I went to a party with Carmilla, the girl you just met, and two guys named Kirsch and Will.”

“Yes, I interviewed one of them and I heard of the other.” He interrupts.

“Well, yeah.” I get nervous. What if our stories don’t match up?! “Will asked me to be his date and I said yes and my dad asked Carmilla to tag along because I never go out and he wanted me to be safe, so she went as Kirsch’ date.”

“Okay…” He writes what I’m saying down. “Go on.”

“The party went pretty smoothly until Will asked me to go upstairs with him and I said yes because I was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic.” This is so awkward to say.

He nods.

“He took me to the balcony and the view was amazing. There, he tried to kiss me, and suddenly, I notice how Elsie was right behind us, meaning that it was a prank.”

“What was a prank?”

“Will taking me out on a date.”

“That’s pretty cruel.”

“It was.” I agree.

“We saw the video since Elsie left her camera behind and it was pretty mean. You looked shaken up.”

“Right.” I shift again. “Yeah, I got upset.”

“And then what happened?”

“I ran out of the room. I found Carmilla and Kirsch along the way. I went to the front lawn for some air and next thing I know, Danny, a friend of ours, is telling me that Elsie was gone.”

“And what happened to Will?” He continues writing.

“I left him behind, I haven’t seen him since.”

“Okay.” He sighs as he writes some more. “Now, why did the age mix up happen?”

“I was crying a lot when I got interviewed.” I admit with resignation. “And I felt emotionally drained. I didn’t want to talk about what happened. Carmilla noticed and to get me out she told your partner I was still a minor.”

“So Carmilla lied?”

“Yeah…” I gulp. “But please, she didn’t do it with bad intentions, she just wanted to help me…”

“I understand.” The old man smiles. “Just being a good friend.”

“Yeah.”

“I talked about it with her already. She said she wouldn’t do it again.”

“Good.” That’s a relief. If Carmilla got in trouble trying to help me… I would feel guiltier than guilty.

“So, tell me, Laura, I heard from a few sources that you and Elsie had some history.”

“Yeah, um, we went to high school together.” I confirm as I push my hair back.

“I heard you two weren’t very close friends.”

“We weren’t…”

“And why is that?”

“She just… I don’t know…”

“What don’t you know?” His voice pushes me.

“Why we weren’t close friends.”

He nods as he looks at another paper. “Your dad told me she bullied you a lot.”

“I guess…”

“You guess?”

“I mean, yeah.”

“What would she do to you?” His voice changes, and it’s not the usual voice change. He doesn’t sound like he pities me. He sounds… curious. Too curious…

“She would just call me names… Make fun of me with her friends… Sometimes throw eggs at me…”

“I see…” He looks up at me, the writing ceasing for more than a few seconds. “And I bet that made you feel really bad…”

“It did…’

“Would you say that you were traumatized?”

“I hate to admit it, but yeah.”

“Okay.” He writes it down. “Now tell me, Laura, did you know she was going to be at Silas University with you?”

“No.” I shyly admit. “I had no idea. Instead I had the misfortune of finding her in my first class. We didn’t really speak until the party, though.”

“I see.” Write. “If Will and Elsie pranked you, that means that they knew each other beforehand, right?”

“Correct.”

“How did they meet?”

“I don’t know, I remember I saw them speaking this one day before class and I don’t know.”

“So they didn’t meet through you?”

“No, but Will did know she was my bully. I told Kirsch and him about it beforehand.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I was shocked to see her there, that’s why.”

“Did it make you angry?”

Where is he going with this? “Did what make me angry?”

“Seeing her, in your class.”

“A bit, yeah.”

“Angry enough to do something about it?”

What? “What?”

“Maybe even make her disappear?”

“I’m sorry, how is this question relevant?” My pained knees start shaking. Oh God, I really am the lead, aren’t I? “I was told when I got here that all I needed to do was tell my side of the story.”

“This is a part of your story.”

“You’re accusing me of hurting Elsie…” When the words come out of my mouth, everything feels more real. I take a shaky breath afterwards.

“I’m asking if you ever considered hurting Elsie.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You’re not answering my question.”

“No.” I reply flatly. “I was never angry enough to consider making her disappear. My head is not that messed up.”

“Okay.” He writes something down as I try to breathe properly. “And how close were you with Will?”

“Like, if we were friends?”

“Yes. Were you two friends?”

“I thought we were.” I reply, trying to forget his previous words. “But he just proved to me that he isn’t.”

“Would he do anything for you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Yes or no.”

“No.” I answer. “He wouldn’t. I’ve never asked him for a favor.”

“Are you sure about that?” That weird, accusatory voice comes back.

“Yes.” My answer is firm. “I’m sure.”

“What about your friend Carmilla?”

“What about her?”

“Tell me about your friend. I heard she was currently staying with you guys because she was found on the streets.”

“She is and she was.” The thought of her makes my nerves calm.

“It’s funny because she was the one who lied to my partner. You know, about your age.”

“Yeah, we already talked about this...”

“Okay then.” Officer Vordenberg checks his watch before continuing. “We are done here.” He moves around some documents on his desk, until a satisfactory grin plasters on his face, a paper in hand. “Sign here please, to testify that we met.”

I sign.

“Good. Thank you, Miss Hollis. We shall keep in touch.”

I try to smile. I fail.

We head out of his office to walk back to my family and I feel my body sigh in relief. It’s finally over for now. I hate interviews… Which is ironic coming from a future journalist.

But when we take the right turn to go back to the lobby… The little sense of relief quickly fades away as my eyes spot Will from a distance.

He finally appears.

That lying, son of a bitch (pardon my language) finally shows up.

And as we get closer, I think about everything I want to say to him. Or, everything I want to do to him. But I am the lead. I need to accept it. The police thinks I’m guilty and any wrong move could make it worse. So instead I’m forced to settle with ignoring him… for now.

But once I’m close enough to see him… I notice he’s not alone.

… So that’s what last night’s officer was doing… He was talking to Will!

And as I walk past them, all eyes are on me.

But that doesn’t freak me out.

No, I don’t care if a police officer who hates me looks at me. Or if my betrayer smirks as I walk by.

What really, really, really freaked me out was another pair of eyes. Another smirk. Another curious glance.

And as I walk back to my dad and friends… My mind breaks like a puzzle, wondering what the hell the Dean was doing with Will and the officer.


	19. The Consequence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you follower Tee for bringing to my attention my mistake. It's been changed :)

Danny offered to take me out to lunch after the whole interrogation fiasco happened, which I thank her for. I missed that feeling of normalcy, which I will always believe is unstable. And everything after that dreadful Saturday was pretty… usual. My dad acted as if it never happened, Carmilla would only bring it up occasionally to joke about it, classes were still a bother… So it felt usual.

What didn’t feel usual was the lack of friends I now possessed, since Kirsch decided to be a “loyal bro” and step away from both Will and I until we fixed our problems (which we haven’t; he doesn’t even look at me).

And the occasional staring of random people from time to time.

Apparently, not a lot of things happen in Silas because it’s been a whole week and people still look at me in that “it’s her!” way.

How did everyone in such a big university find out about such a random, far-fetched event, you may ask? I have no idea. But I think I can guess how.

The Dean addressed a public letter where she specified that parties on campus were to be suspended for the rest of the semester for some “private” reasons. And of course, the words “private” and “secret” work as antonyms, because instead of getting people to respect the privacy, it gets them riled up to know the truth behind anything and everything that seems relevant enough to gossip about.

It didn’t take long for the Summers and the Zetas to spread their hatred towards me because obviously, I’m the weaker target. Even if Will was the last person who was seen with Elsie, no one would ever suspect of the hot Zeta. God forbid you even questioned him. Whereas, I am the freshman who ruined parties and investigations simultaneously.  
What about the Dean?, you may ask afterwards. The Dean has been somehow present since Friday night, AKA the night Elsie disappeared. Not only was she at the party after the disappearance, but she was also at the police station. By now, I bet she knows all about me; the problematic girl who seems to be the lead of a very serious investigation.

Carmilla says I shouldn’t worry, that she’s probably there to keep the situation from getting out of hand and ending up on the news. Which seems… plausible.

But it sucks to know that if I ever need a letter of recommendation from her, I’ll never get it.

But whatever, things are pretty acceptable. The police haven’t called me anymore, Danny is trying to take some time to be with me, and Carmilla is… just being a nicer Carmilla.

So, I guess I can live with that.

And now that things are better, I can go back to focusing on what I should be focusing on: school. I’m not going to get involved in the Elsie thing anymore, I’m not going to try to find out who Carmilla is, and I’m definitely not going to stress over Will. If there’s anything I’ve learned this past weekend is that maybe Louis Lane is someone special and I’m not.

Does it break my heart to know that Elsie is somewhere missing, possibly kidnapped?

… Of course it does.

No one deserves that kind of pain.

It hit home, I knew who she was.

But I can’t do anything.

I mean… She wouldn’t do anything. So maybe, I should just… let it go.

Maybe…

At least that’s what I’m trying to tell myself as I sit in a library, trying to find more info on the infamous vampires and werewolves. That project may be harder than I thought it was going to be. It’s been two hours and I haven’t gathered much information, which is a real disappointment.

And besides… It’s a Friday afternoon and I’m studying. How is that fun?

I try to match up the info I found last time versus the information I’ve gathered now and it’s pretty much the same… And that’s when I realize that I’m stuck.

“Oh, information…” I mumble. “Where art thou?”

I again, just like last time, feel some movement by my side.

“You.” I hear a voice say.

I look up and find… what was their name again? Lafountain..? La funny?

“It’s Lafontaine!” They say. “We met a while back.”

“Right!” Lafontaine. “I remember you.”

“You didn’t call.” They once again take the empty seat next to me, as they make themselves comfortable. “Remember? I gave you my number to contact me if you needed help with your project.”

“Oh.” Well, isn’t Lafontaine straight forward? “Yeah, I’m sorry, I’ve just been… busy.”

“So I’ve heard.” They smirk. “So I’ve heard.”

“Great.” I try to laugh. “So even library geeks know. No offense.”

“None taken. I guess sororities in Silas are a big deal.”

“Apparently.”

We stay in silence for a few seconds, until Lafontaine speaks up again.

“So, how’s the project going?”

“Dreadful.” My voice replies. “I barely have anything useful.”

“I told you to call me if you needed help…”

Okay, Lafontaine seems like a great person. But you don’t just give out phone numbers. They have to like me. But I don’t like them. My heart is sort of… taken. “Look…” I start.  
“You look like a great person, but…”

“Whoa, relax there, preppy.” They giggle, raising their hands in the process. “You’re not my type either.”

“Oh…” Okay, this is awkward. “I just thought-”

“I know what you thought, but no, I’m not interested. In fact, I’m dating someone.”

“Cool!” I smile. “That’s good! Or, is it?”

“Yeah, it is.” They smile. “I just wanted to offer you some help since you obviously need it.” They point at the doodles on top of my scrambled notes.

I smile, blushing. “Now I feel like a judgmental, narcissist.”

“Don’t worry about it.” They laugh. “You’re Laura, right? I’m not sure if I remember your name correctly.”

“Yeah, I’m Laura.”

“Okay, then let’s start over. Nice to meet you, Laura.” They extend their hand towards me.

I shake it. “Nice to meet you, too, Lafontaine.”

“Good.” They smile. “But, seriously, call me. We can meet up. I wish I could help you now but the bae is waiting for me.”

“What about tomorrow?” I randomly ask. “Can you come over tomorrow? My house?”

“You’re not staying at a dorm?”

“No. Maybe next semester, though.”

“Well, where do you live?”

“The city.” I reply.

“Really?” They ask, standing up.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Cool, I live in the city, too. Going to my house this weekend; I’m a dorm student but I like sleeping in my own bed in the weekends.”

“Is that a yes, then?” I hope.

“Of course! What’s your address?”

“Um… Should I write it down for you?”

“Yeah, please.”

I swiftly pass the doodled page and rip out a piece of paper, where I write perfectly my home address. “There ya go.” I pass it to them.

“Cool! Then see you tomorrow.”

“Around 1?”

“Sure.” They smile. “Goodbye, Laura.”

“Bye.”

And I think that Lafontaine is going to be a lot of help in this weird assignment.

-Later That Night-

It’s interesting to think about how we’re just humans. To some, it’s inspiring, to others, it’s a burden. And I guess I can understand both sides of the argument. It’s inspiring to be a human because it means that we have intelligence and abilities and ways to achieve our goals. But it’s also a burden because being human means dying, getting sick, getting hurt. Nothing is ever perfect, I guess.

And I think about this as I discreetly look at Carmilla as she watches some TV, on a Friday night, by my side. Does she think being human is a burden or a blessing?

I bet she thinks it’s a burden. If she could be one of those vampires I’ve been studying about, she probably would. She wouldn’t be a werewolf though, it doesn’t go with her style.

But I bet she’d be a vampire.

Meanwhile, I enjoy being human, because it allows me to feel. I mean, maybe vampires do feel as well, but maybe their feelings are more animalistic, since they are more like an animal than a human. Meanwhile, ours are pure. Or maybe there is no difference.

I don’t know, life is weird.

But she’d probably want to be something amazingly different and creepy.

Yeah, she probably would.

“Laura, do you not like watching TV or something?” She says, not bothering to look at me.

“Or something.”

“Enjoy the show. You’re creeping me out.”

“Sorry.” My eyes fall on the screen.

She sighs. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

She turns off the TV, facing me. I take this as an invitation to look at her, as well.

“Are you okay?” She says so silently, it almost sounds like a whisper.

“Yeah… Why?”

“I just got worried after the whole Elsie thing.”

“Why did you get worried?” I rest my head against the couch, my stomach fluttering.

“I don’t know. I just…” She casts her eyes to the space between us, seeming almost nervous. “Some girl disappeared seconds after you left the room and based on what you’ve told me, you’re a pretty popular girl now.” Carmilla then slowly raises her eyes to find mine.

Did I just die? Yep, probably.

“And I don’t want you to get hurt.” She finishes.

“I’m fine. No one is going to try to kidnap me.”

“That you know of.”

“You confuse me, you know?” I change the subject, our eyes never ceasing to look at each other.

“Why?” She copies my previous gesture and places her head on the top of the couch.

“Because one minute you care and the next, you don’t.” I finally address it.

She smirks as her eyes face the empty spot again. “Maybe affection is too dangerous for my liking.”

“I think you’re wrong.” I say as my body sits up again. “I think that sometimes, affection is the only thing that can save you.”

“We’re obviously two different people.”

“You know, my professor once said that there are two kinds of people: the ones who believe there are two kinds of people and the ones who know there aren’t.”

Carmilla scoffs, sitting up as well. “Doesn’t that sentence sound a bit contradictory?”

“Doesn’t need to make sense for it to be true.”

“That’s even more contradictory.”

“The point is…” I look at her again. “That at the end of the day, everyone wants to both receive and give affection.”

She stares at me attentively.

“Some are just more cautious about it than others.”

“I thought I was the philosophy girl.” She jokes.

“I’m serious!” I smile.

“Well, what if you genuinely don’t want to give that affection?” Carmilla asks confidently. “What if you just want… a presence?”

“Then you haven’t found the right person to give that affection to.”

The brunette bites her lip carefully, her eyes getting smaller and darker. “Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Did I just figure you out?”

“No, I just… You made me think about someone.” She stays quiet.

I look away, sensing I probably said something that hit home, since her reaction was too vulnerable. And if I know Carmilla by now, I know it’s best to just forget it.

Luckily, the bell rings.

“Coming!” I scream as I leave the room, headed towards the door.

And when I open it, I find someone I really don’t want to see on the other side.

“Hello, Sabrina.” I smile politely.

“Laura, hello. Sorry for dropping by so late.” She runs her long fingers through her blonde hair. “Is your father home?”

“Um, yeah.” I say. “Dad!” My voice echoes around the house. “You have a guest!”

The last time we saw Sabrina things didn’t go quite… well. She accused Carmilla of lying about who she is, she had a fight with my dad, and she threatened to take my new friend away. I mean sure, she was doing her job as a social worker, but she wasn’t very nice. And I’m sure that no one here is really excited to see her.

My dad walks downstairs with some baggy shorts and a polo, his face a bit surprised. “Sabrina, hi. Is everything alright?”

“Not really.” She looks nervous. Why is she nervous? “Where’s Carmilla?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to talk to her…” My dad interrupts her train of thought.

“What’s going on?” And just on cue, Carmilla walks in on the three of us.

“There you are.” Sabrina says. “We need to talk. All of us.”

“I don’t really want to talk to someone who seems to have no respect for foster kids, thank you very much.” Carmilla responds.

“I come in peace.” She raises her hands. “But we all need to talk.”

“What’s the problem?” My dad insists again. “When I left the office, everything was alright.”

“The police are investigating Carmilla.” Sabrina admits, her voice a bit shaken.

“What? Why?” I ask.

“They wouldn’t tell us why but apparently it has to do with a disappearance.”

Oh, no.

“They even asked the chief about you, Super Dad.”

My father squirms, trying to seem unaffected.

Oh, no.

“And they found out that we don’t know who Carmilla is and that we don’t have any records on her so things got a bit complicated.”

“Who went to check this out? What was the name of the officer?” My dad asks.

“Officer Vordenberg.”

“Why is he still on the case?” I ask. “I thought the other officer was in charge.”

“I don’t know. But what I do know is that if we don’t find some background information on you…” She glares at Carmilla. “You could easily get blamed for a disappearance.”

“Meaning…?” I ask, anxiously.

“Meaning Carmilla could go to jail and our department could get sued for not getting the information we’ve needed all along.”


	20. The Hug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! Domestic abuse is spoken of in this chapter. If you don't feel comfortable reading it, skip the chapter.
> 
> Since I received negative responses on Carmilla's second person point of view, I decided to make Carmilla's point of view the same as Laura's. The reason why I decided to do the 2nd person point of view was to make sure no one got confused between the two characters. So, instead, I tried to make this chapter as "carmilla" as possible with the traditional dialogue. Hopefully I succeeded. This girl is fun to write. If not satisfied, you can leave a comment, telling me which one you prefer.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! Thank you for all your comments and kudos and bookmarks! Highly appreciated!

Carmilla’s Point of View.

I was a teen of the nineties and a child of the eighties. I lived through the denim era, the club days, and I listened to music on cassettes I have now lost.

As a child from the eighties, I remember I’d obsess over shows like Sesame Street, since that’s when they blossomed entirely. One time, I was watching the usual Elmo segment with my biological mother, who may rest in peace, and we heard the door slam.

We knew my father had arrived.

“Kate!” He’d scream. “Kate!” He’d raise his voice.

“What?” I remember feeling my mother’s voice shake. 

“I’m home!” He’d announce, as if it wasn’t obvious.

We’d stay quiet, not sure of what to say next. I was too busy following the red moppet’s footsteps anyway.

“I said I’m home!”

“I heard you!” She replied.

“Where’s my food?!”

My mom’s grip on me tightens, making me feel uneasy. I automatically knew where it was going and resigned to the worst, which by the time, was just screaming.

“We just got home.” My mother replied. “And Mircalla wanted me to watch her favorite show with her, so…”

We heard some footsteps approach us quickly and my mom let go of me. 

“So what?” My father stood in front of the TV, eying my mother carefully. “I’m going to starve because of some red puppet?”

“Honey…” My mother warned.

“What?!” He exclaimed. “Make me food, bitch!”

Little me winced at the word. I had used it in the morning during class to mock a classmate, and my teacher had called me out of it. She said it was disrespectful and it could hurt her feelings. I had heard my father say the word so many times, that I figured it wasn’t a bad word, but when my teacher clarified the meaning, I became frightened of it. 

I looked at my mother, trying to tell if her face demonstrated the pain my teacher said the word could cause. As she looked away, I figured she was right.

“Answer me!” He demanded.

“Mircalla, can you please go upstairs?”

I nodded, knowing the routine, and headed towards my room. As I walked by my dad, I sniffed a weird smell. It was only when I was thirteen that I learned that he was drunk that day, and most days after that.

I entered my room, locked the door behind me, and tried to use my pillow to mute the screaming from downstairs. It usually worked, but that time, it was different. That time, the screaming didn’t stop after a few seconds, it went on and on and on for minutes. I closed my eyes and prayed to God, hoping they’d stop (my grandma always told me that only God could make my wishes come true). But they didn’t.

They didn’t stop.

It escalated to the point that I heard some shattering underneath me. 

I gasped, scared. What was even happening?

So I disobeyed my caring mother and came out of my room and tried to spy on them from a distance, hoping to find the source of the loud noise.

Curiosity didn’t kill the cat… Curiosity murdered my childhood with no mercy.

I noticed a shattered plate on the floor, a few feet away from the stairs. I figured that the plate was what scared me. But as I looked up, I saw my dad… slapping my mom senseless. 

I didn’t know what to do. I was only five. I didn’t even know what this meant. I heard her screams tear the house down and I wanted to do something. Fuck, I wanted to do something so badly, but I froze. I was petrified. I had never seen something like that before, my mother had always made sure that my childhood was as innocent as it could be.

And she tried. She fucking tried.

But after that awful afternoon, I couldn’t even look at Elmo the same way. 

Why didn’t Elmo tell me what to do if I ever saw my mom getting beaten? Why didn’t Elmo warm me that the real world wasn’t like Sesame Street? Why didn’t he shield me from the misery I had to live through? 

And when I accidently shrieked as my mom fell to the floor, my father caught me staring. My heart stopped, wondering if he’d do the same to me. 

But he didn’t. He just smirked instead.

“You see?” He directed his words towards me. “This will happen to you if you’re disobedient!”

My tears started to nonstop roll down my cheeks.

“Mircalla!” My mom exclaimed, her face bloody. I noticed how she tried to get up, but she couldn’t. “Mircalla! Please! Go to your room!”

“Mommy…” I’m embarrassed to say that my voice shook as well. “Mommy…”

“You know what, Mircalla?” My father left my mother on the floor and approached me. I stepped back, wincing at his steps. My heart wanted to get out of its cage, hurting my chest. 

“You’re an annoying girl.” He continued, once he was close to me. “You are making us broke, you demand too much, and frankly, I don’t give a shit about you.”

He didn’t need to slap me. His poisoned breath was enough to make me want to cry. 

“I don’t give a shit about you.” He repeated.

I stared, tears falling freely.

“I wish you were never born, Mircalla.” He stumbles as he walks away.

And as sick as it may sound, I wish he would have slapped me instead. Because the mark of his hands on my face was easier to erase than those words. Sure, they weren’t the worse, but when you’d heard them whenever you’re father would have a couple of drinks, you’d start to believe them.

They’d become a part of you.

And when you were a five year old of the eighties, you had no way to access the internet to google “How to cure depression” or “How to forgive your father”; you just had to live. You’d had to accept your harsh reality and wish you would survive.

That’s why when I was turned in the year 2000, I didn’t cry. I didn’t complain. I wasn’t sad. I was happy.  
I was satisfied. 

I knew, ever since I first saw my dad hit my mom (because that wasn’t the only time it happened), that I wanted to be something dark. I prayed minutes before the disaster and nothing happened. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a part of everything white and pure. Maybe that’s Laura’s case, but not mine.

I’m no light, I’m darkness. 

Darkness that’s slowly fading. 

And as I remember these events, I can’t help but get furious at my current mother and at Will, and also at the cupcake for screwing me over.

“Just trust me”, Will said.

“The paperwork won’t affect you”, my mother said. 

“We’re doing the right thing”, Laura tried to convince me.

But no.

What’s fucking unfair is that I don’t deserve this bullshit. I didn’t even want to do any of this. I told my mother I was done with her psychotic games, and she kidnaps Elle as a punishment. I lied to Will and told him we’re together, hoping he could save her, but instead, he just mocks me about it. I told Laura we had no business playing real life Clueless with imbeciles. I told her. I did. But did she listen?

No.

Of course not.

But now, I’m the one who got fucked over.

I called Mother. She just said that if I didn’t do my part of the deal, I’d die anyway, so that I shouldn’t worry about prison, and instead, I should just accomplish my mission.

I called Will. He just brought some blood instead. 

And Laura? She’s currently in her room with some weirdo discussing a worthless project. Apparently she has to prove vampires and werewolves are real. 

Did I laugh when I heard about the topic?

No, but I did smirk. 

She could just take me to class and she’d get an instant A, but no, I rather allow her to work her ass off trying to find proof. 

It’s the only revenge I can think of, since I’m so fucking pissed.

I’m fucking furious.

I even called Mattie to fix my mess and she doesn’t pick up. 

It’s like I’m dying and no one gives a shit.

But alas, what else can I do? I’ve tried my best and maybe I should just do my mission without trying to find an alternative. Maybe I need to stop being so emotional. Maybe it’s time I-

“Carm?” I hear her shy voice.

Great. What does she want? “What?” I croak.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.” I mumble.

She walks in carefully, eying me as if I was made of fucking glass, and I get even angrier. “What do you want?”

“I’m sorry, I just, can you come to my room real quick?”

“Why? To get a confession tape? No, thank you.”

“I said I was sorry… And I meant it…”

“Sorry doesn’t get my sexy ass out of jail.”

“I know, but I think Laff and I can help.”

… What?

“I told Laff what happened since they’re smart and they already knew everything else…”

They?

“And they said that maybe we can help…”

“How?” I croak. “I told you to stop trying to play Velma and just let everyone else do their job.”

“I’m not going to do that…”

“Why not? You didn’t care when you got my mediocre ass in trouble.” I sit on the bed, trying to regain my calm.

“I’m not taking any chances…” She noticeably avoids my comments.

“And why the fuck not?”

“Because you’re my friend.” She announces, her eyes falling into mine intensively. Why does she do this whenever she says something relatively nice? 

I stay quiet. Fuck.

“Okay?” She continues, her eyes glued to mine. “You’re my friend and I care about you and I’m not letting you go to prison. I promise. It was my mistake and you don’t deserve any of that. I’m really sorry.”

I try to look away but I can’t. I fucking can’t.

Her eyes stare into mine and for a second I believe her bullshit words.

But she can’t care about me. No one ever does. She doesn’t even know I’m a vampire, her arguments are invalid.

… But I want her to care… So badly… And I don’t even know why.

“I said a while ago that I don’t want to lose you and I still mean it.” Her eyes grow bigger and more heartfelt.

I have to look away.

“I don’t want to lose you.” She repeats.

“Fine.” I nod, my eyes avoiding hers. 

“You’re going to let us help you?” Her voice chimes up.

“Sure.” I mumble, knowing I’ll regret it later.

And next thing I know… Her arms are around me. She’s hugging me. She’s actually hugging me. 

She’s hugging me so tight, I swear I feel my broken spirit patch up again. 

But I can’t relax under her touch. I’m not used to receiving affection; I’m only comfortable giving it. But she’s hugging me. She doesn’t stop.

And damn it, I don’t want her to stop.

But Elle… She needs me… I can’t get distracted…

So my hands slowly back her away, the cupcake’s face breaking into a small frown.

“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” She whispers as she places some hair behind her left ear.

And if my body could talk, it’d say, please, embrace me tighter. And if my mended soul could speak, it’d thank her for her patience. And if my knees could mutter, they’d swear they got weak under her touch. But body parts are mute, and instead, I settle with an “it’s okay”, hoping she understands that it really is.

It really is okay.

But it shouldn’t be.

But it is.

I swear to everything that’s broken me, that it’s more than okay.

And I don’t want to know why.

Because as soon as I do, everything will go to fucking hell. And that’s a chance I’m not willing to take.


End file.
